What do you think of me... I feel pretty bad about myself

[Neutrino]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out.

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place. There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.

I would like to think that I am superior than anyone else, that I don't need a relationship to feel good. But... I'm found myself wrong. I physical self is human, and I need and want relationship just as much as anyone else does. Weather if consciously I really want it or not.

Consciously, I just want all "human pleasures" to be out of my head. Relationships, gaming, eating, sleeping and alike, so I can focus completely on math and physics.

Yet...there seems to be another part of me that is human...and want all those stuff that would distract me from my pursuit of knowledge.

What advices or comments can you give me?

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Second post copied below

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Thanks to all of you for your great advices. I see many well-worth-considering advices. Thank you. (@Ghoti, accually I am split between Christianity and Atheism, about 20%/80% split)

Though, it does seem like that I need to clarify 2 things.

1: A different idea

I was brought up with a very different idea, an idea that perhaps, according to Freudians, entered my deepest unconscious. I was taught that successful people are more liked, and are thus prioritized in marriage. In other words, if you are a nuclear physicist with $500,000/year income, you can pick your favorite girl to marry, out of an entire spectrum of them. On the other hand, if you are a history teacher (no offense, please), you, along with 20 other men are at the mercy of one girl, and you beg god to be picked to marry her, even though she might be ugly, mean, and whatever.

I still see that as true, with a lot of supporting examples. However, when it comes to me, all of this wonderful theory goes away. It never works with me. I have friends, I have friends that are girls, but I have no girlfriends. My parents tell me that the teenage girls of America has no idea the importance of knowledge, as they feed upon their parents. When they grow up, they would eventually figure out that money is important, and inevitably knowledge is important as well. A few things bother me about that. I would like girls to like me for my knowledge, not my money. Also, someone else gets my future wife's virginity because she was immature back then? How ridiculous.

I guess the bottom line here is, I just can't possibly think that is wrong. If it is, then my parents had deceived me for my entire life in order for me to learn knowledge...


2. The So-Called-Superiority

I NEVER meant this in the way that I am superior because of my knowledge, therefore I deserve girls (although I do feel this way). What I really mean is, I am superior , therefore I should not have human pleasures. And it pains me to think how that is not the way the universe runs...



Again, thank you so much, everybody , for your advices. Thank you for identifying with me (for those who did) , and thank you for pointing out my mistakes (for those who did). Thank you for your time and opinion

I would like more opinions too =P

[drumir93]

My name is Richard (I prefer Ricky though), I live in the United States, and my knowledge extends to Ancient History, The American Legal System, old movies, and music.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out.

Like you, I've also only ever had real feelings for 2 girls.

I also like to think myself superior to others based on my self-education and intuitive knowledge regarding our silly fellow humans. I've also been torn between my heart and my mind when it comes to relationships and the general joys of life.

And you know whats really weird? Despite all that, I was once a lot like you;).

But I've grown and have learned to find a balance between intellectual pursuits and the inevidable human nature of love and desire that suites me.

I think absolutely nothing about you. I do not like or dislike you because the things you've talked about have nothing to do with that.
More importantly, what do you think of you? Disregard all the outside opinions and expectations and reflect on what the difference is between who you are and who you wish to be. Thats what I did.
I also came to the conclusion that all the people I admire and wanted to model myself off of didn't really care what the others thought.

[ILOVEYOU]

Take it easy man, i dont know your age, but you have to be a teenager anyway, so ALL the Teenagers have those problems, do not find it hard or impossible, just DO what you want, and before that, think about it, think what you'll lose and what you'll get, and see if its worth it. a Girl in your life will change your way of thinking, Try to find someone, i mean Look for'em, find a good girl, the one that you like and is worth wasting time with. just Take it easy, life's not that important, Enjoy it. Good Luck :)

[The Batman]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond. Being that smart isn't suppose to put you high on the list of girls that want to fuck you.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out. Maybe that's why you are a virgin and haven't dated a girl. Stop waiting around dude and go for it or you'll be a single virgin for the rest of your life. Sex isn't even that important so why put so much emphasis on it?

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place. There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.

[QUOTE=Neutrino;680756]I would like to think that I am superior than anyone else, that I don't need a relationship to feel good. But... I'm found myself wrong. I physical self is human, and I need and want relationship just as much as anyone else does. Weather if consciously I really want it or not. There is a difference between having an ego and being stuck up(I'll let you figure that one out) and thinking that you are better than everyone isn't going to look good when trying to date a girl. Who wants to date a guy that thinks he's better than her.

Consciously, I just want all "human pleasures" to be out of my head. Relationships, gaming, eating, sleeping and alike, so I can focus completely on math and physics. It's the pleasures that make life worth living and give us something to strive for.

Yet...there seems to be another part of me that is human...and want all those stuff that would distract me from my pursuit of knowledge.

What advices or comments can you give me?
Last statement is get out, enjoy life, and meet girls instead of being to afraid to go for it.

[Alexthemightycricket]

if you ask me your rlly asking to become a vampire the way you say that you dont want to be human like. and you if you want to stop those urges of "human Pleasures" to be out of your head ignore the world and all that inhabits its. try some meditation techniques like astro projection. clear your mid and imagine that you are just letting go of the world. take a few deep breaths and focus all of you pleasures and pains into one spot on your body. once you do that constrict it all on the inhale and when you exhale let go of everything including your sole. than you will be completely free. also do not do this in a crowded room for you might loose your self and it will be hard for you to get your self back. oh yea it wont always work the first few time you do it so try it more than once.

[nick]

Learn to show a human side to your personality. I mean I don't know you of course, but you come over as something of a cold geek. Sorry, but you did ask. Now that doesn't appeal to anyone. Learn to show a warm and caring side, to show that you're interested in people and in life. Life cant be found in books.

I hope that doesnt come over as too mean or nasty, its not intended to be nasty. Talk to me more about it by pm if you like.

[sebbie]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond.



A place does not define a person, actions do. Your academic pursuits are entirely up to you and really don't matter when it comes to things like dating or relationships

Yet...
I'm still a virgin.
Not only that...
I never dated.
And worse...
Never asked anyone out.

There is no rush to do all these things, just do them when you feel ready and the time is right, you are only 16 some people lose their virginity,date girls when they are much older than you are.

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place. There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.

This in my opinion is just look of the draw, in time you will find someone who you like and things may work out. Look to the future not the past.

I would like to think that I am superior than anyone else, that I don't need a relationship to feel good. But... I'm found myself wrong. I physical self is human, and I need and want relationship just as much as anyone else does. Weather if consciously I really want it or not.


No one is entirely superior than another person, to assume you are would be arrogant and mistaken. For example you may be "superior" at academic pursuits and someone may be "superior" to you at social pursuits.

Consciously, I just want all "human pleasures" to be out of my head. Relationships, gaming, eating, sleeping and alike, so I can focus completely on math and physics.
Yet...there seems to be another part of me that is human...and want all those stuff that would distract me from my pursuit of knowledge.
What advices or comments can you give me?


There is more to life than academic pursuits and I am sure in time you will realise that, we are all human and generally speaking we all want "human pleasures"

Take things in moderation, and don't worry about things like dating/relationships they all come naturally in there own time, don't worry or work yourself up about it.

[uihwljtkegr]

Wow, that could be me that you were describing, if it were not for the calculus and quantum physics.

I would say, as admirable as your interlectual persuits are, you shouldn't spend all your time focusing on them. Intelligence alone, while it can put you above a large number of people, isn't going to make you appealing to the opposite sex, although it plays a major part. From the sounds of it you could spend a little less time focusing on that. Try to socialize more, go out and meet people and so on. Trying to cut yourself off from the things you mentioned really isn't healthy. Maybe not so much physically, but you don't want to be that cut off, trust me.

And why not indulge in these human desires? I can see from your post that you are intelligent. Do you really need to invest all your time in such things? It sounds to me like you could get on just fine not doing so.

I would say that you should try and get out more.

Also, as for feeling superior to others; Yes its nice to have some sense of class about you, but there is a fine line between being proud and just having a big ego. Try not to step over the line. Intelligence can only get you so far in life. I know exactly what you are trying to say, but try not to be so judgemental. Yes, some people may not be as intelligent as you. But does this make them any less of a person? Does this mean that they're not worth your company? Many of my friends (and I mean this in the nicest possible way) aren't overly intelligent. They're not stupid, but they're not going to go out there and get a PHD in anything either. But you couldn't hope to meet a nicer group of people!

In short, go out, be yourself and just try and be as friendly as you can to everyone that you meet. Even if it feels awkward at first. Confidence comes with time. Don't go out with the single intention of finding a girlfriend, just go out and try to make as many friends as possible. Then, chances are you'll end up finding someone suitable for you, and all you have to do is get to know them better.

Also, I'm 17 and I'm a virgin. And it doesn't bother me one bit! Infact I'm proud of it! Whats the big hurry to lose it?

[Sage]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond.

The US doesn't have the most teenage dating, sex, or pregnancies.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out.

Solution: Talk to girls, ask them out, bang them.

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place.

Did you know them at all? Did you talk to them?

There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.

It's more than alright to have your own personal preference when it comes to how you'd like your lover to look, but don't just go after the 'pretty' ones. Be open minded, a lot of people are pretty in their own ways.

I would like to think that I am superior than anyone else, that I don't need a relationship to feel good.

Reality check: You're human, and humans are social animals. There'd be something poorly connected in your mind if you can completely disregard the need of social contact or a relationship.

But... I'm found myself wrong. I physical self is human, and I need and want relationship just as much as anyone else does. Weather if consciously I really want it or not.

Reality: You want it no matter how much you try to repress your urges and tell yourself you don't.

Consciously, I just want all "human pleasures" to be out of my head. Relationships, gaming, eating, sleeping and alike, so I can focus completely on math and physics.

What kind of life is that? You're just trying to get rid of these great things in life because you don't want to put up with the drama and difficulty and stress that comes with them. But you know what?

That's life.

You're never going to be happy if you don't accept that you'll have to go through a lot of shit to get there.

Yet...there seems to be another part of me that is human...and want all those stuff that would distract me from my pursuit of knowledge.

What advices or comments can you give me?

You have no fucking clue what knowledge is, sorry.

Knowledge spans far outside the realm of academia. One doesn't need to have a master's degree in a field of science or write books or lock themselves in an office their whole lives to be intelligent. You boast that you are very skilled in the way of math and physics but you can never hope to call yourself "intelligent" if you don't know how to simply approach somebody and start a conversation. By studying psychology I know exactly what's running through your head as you type this. You're uncomfortable with your desires because there's a lot of very difficult work involved in satisfying them, and so you are trying to convince yourself that you don't need them and that doing something unchallenging (because you're already good at it) like math and physics is all you need to be happy. It's not. There is nothing noble about trying to repress your basic human desires.

To sum it up: Stop thinking so much. You can pursue math and physics if that's your thing, but academics won't help you at all in the way of meeting people. Don't consider consequences. Don't calculate probabilities. Just approach a girl that seems nice and say 'Hi'.

[Art_dude]

Deschain's post pretty much summed it up for you. You can convince yourself you don't want those "human pleasures" but you're not fooling anyone. You're coming across as pretentious and that's why people aren't talking to you because you come across as only caring about yourself. No one gives a shit that you're some scientific scholar. That doesn't mean you're nearly as enlightened, or socially capable as others.

"You're uncomfortable with your desired because there's a lot of very difficult work involved in satisfying them, and so you are trying to convince yourself that you don't need them and that doing something unchallenging (because you're already good at it) like math and physics is all you need to be happy."

BINGO.

[Ghoti]

I'm sensing your an agnostic/atheist correct? Just wondering, lol.
I'm exactly the same way but im not atheist but i feel lonely too. I never dated anyone even though i could. And we DO need girls! So you just have to look at girls as prey. Any girl is yours to attack and lure in. But secretly the luring part is seducting and Learning about them. Befriend everyone you can; try to have more 'girl-friends' than 'boy-friends'. It will work!

[jack straw]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out.

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place. There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.


I'm in the same spot kid, I'm 16, Kissed a girl once (two an a half years ago), and after that have sat by watching my friends do everything you could imagine, and more...

Believe me, I wish I could find a girl I like that likes me too. Doesnt seem like thats gonna happen any time soon but Still my "Human Desires" are stronger than ever. As long as your body is still producing hormones, yer still gonna have those desires distracting you. While being a quantam physics geek can get you a college degree, nobel prizes an your name in a textbook someday, it is mostlikely NOT going to get you a girl.

Trying to stop myself from laughing in aggreement with Deschains post was quite difficult. He basically summed it up very well and (while some of his ideas may have been alittle too breif to be taken literally: "Talk to girls, ask them out, bang them." haha) I hope that his advice helps you.

**Try and find a hobby which will combined both your knolodge of crazy sciences, and activities which others enjoy aswell. Put your knolodge to the test, and try to use it in everyday life to do something using your skill and a practicle thing to try and get a girl to notice you. Trust me it will help. *******

[Neutrino]

Thanks to all of you for your great advices. I see many well-worth-considering advices. Thank you. (@Ghoti, accually I am split between Christianity and Atheism, about 20%/80% split)

Though, it does seem like that I need to clarify 2 things.

1: A different idea

I was brought up with a very different idea, an idea that perhaps, according to Freudians, entered my deepest unconscious. I was taught that successful people are more liked, and are thus prioritized in marriage. In other words, if you are a nuclear physicist with $500,000/year income, you can pick your favorite girl to marry, out of an entire spectrum of them. On the other hand, if you are a history teacher (no offense, please), you, along with 20 other men are at the mercy of one girl, and you beg god to be picked to marry her, even though she might be ugly, mean, and whatever.

I still see that as true, with a lot of supporting examples. However, when it comes to me, all of this wonderful theory goes away. It never works with me. I have friends, I have friends that are girls, but I have no girlfriends. My parents tell me that the teenage girls of America has no idea the importance of knowledge, as they feed upon their parents. When they grow up, they would eventually figure out that money is important, and inevitably knowledge is important as well. A few things bother me about that. I would like girls to like me for my knowledge, not my money. Also, someone else gets my future wife's virginity because she was immature back then? How ridiculous.

I guess the bottom line here is, I just can't possibly think that is wrong. If it is, then my parents had deceived me for my entire life in order for me to learn knowledge...


2. The So-Called-Superiority

I never meant this in the way that I am superior because of my knowledge, therefore I deserve girls (although I do feel this way). What I really mean is, I am superior , therefore I should not have human pleasures. And it pains me to think how that is not the way the universe runs...



Again, thank you so much, everybody , for your advices. Thank you for identifying with me (for those who did) , and thank you for pointing out my mistakes (for those who did). Thank you for your time and opinion

I would like more opinions too =P

[nick]

What do I think of you...

troll

[Sage]

1: A different idea

I was brought up with a very different idea, an idea that perhaps, according to Freudians, entered my deepest unconscious. I was taught that successful people are more liked, and are thus prioritized in marriage.

Yeah... but everyone has a different idea of successful. And besides, who cares about marriage? Stop thinking about everything on such rudimentary, analytical grounds and realize that you're supposed to have fun.

In other words, if you are a nuclear physicist with $500,000/year income, you can pick your favorite girl to marry, out of an entire spectrum of them. On the other hand, if you are a history teacher (no offense, please), you, along with 20 other men are at the mercy of one girl, and you beg god to be picked to marry her, even though she might be ugly, mean, and whatever.

And funny how the six or so unemployed, untalented guys at my school who carry around a guitar all the time are quite favorable to the women. They sure don't sound very successful to me.

I still see that as true, with a lot of supporting examples. However, when it comes to me, all of this wonderful theory goes away.

That's because it's not a wonderful theory- It's grade-A bullshit.

It never works with me.

Because it's bullshit.

I have friends, I have friends that are girls, but I have no girlfriends.

Do you like any of them? If not, why give a fuck? You shouldn't be with a girl you don't have feelings for.

My parents tell me that the teenage girls of America has no idea the importance of knowledge, as they feed upon their parents. When they grow up, they would eventually figure out that money is important, and inevitably knowledge is important as well. A few things bother me about that.

Is being bigoted one of them? Because that there is more bullshit. If you think all the girls available are like that, obviously you're not going to show them a good time.

I would like girls to like me for my knowledge, not my money.

Pro-tip! MATH ISN'T SEXY. Your partner should love you for you, not something you do. You're unknowingly defining yourself as nothing more than someone good at math and physics- and that's why people don't like you, because you don't consider yourself a person. Seriously, be social. Be human.

Also, someone else gets my future wife's virginity because she was immature back then? How ridiculous.

Y'know tiger, that 'someone else' could be you if you actually put yourself out there.

I guess the bottom line here is, I just can't possibly think that is wrong.

If it is, then my parents had deceived me for my entire life in order for me to learn knowledge...

B-I-N-G-O.

Ugh. Seriously. Being a teenager is about realizing that your parents don't know everything and they too are humans and as humans can be full of shit. Think for yourself. Nobody likes a momma's boy.


I never meant this in the way that I am superior because of my knowledge, therefore I deserve girls (although I do feel this way).

But that's the thing! YOU HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE! All the academics in the world will do you no good if you can't break out of your proverbial ironclad shell.

What I really mean is, I am superior,

No, no, no, no, no!

therefore I should not have human pleasures.

Good gods, no! You should have more!

And it pains me to think how that is not the way the universe runs...

Jesus Christ Muhammad Obama, what a mind-bogglingly dull existence that would be!

I would like more opinions too =P

Yours truly. >:L

[Tiberius]

My name is Richard, I'm 16 and a half, I live in the country with most teenage dating/sex/pregnancies (USA of course), and my knowledge extends to the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond.

Yet...

I'm still a virgin.

Not only that...

I never dated.

And worse...

Never asked anyone out.

In my life I've only had real feelings for 2 girls. First girl acted as if I never existed. Second girl had a man before I realized she was not single in the first place. There are other pretty girls around of course, but I just gave up.

I would like to think that I am superior than anyone else, that I don't need a relationship to feel good. But... I'm found myself wrong. I physical self is human, and I need and want relationship just as much as anyone else does. Weather if consciously I really want it or not.

Consciously, I just want all "human pleasures" to be out of my head. Relationships, gaming, eating, sleeping and alike, so I can focus completely on math and physics.

Yet...there seems to be another part of me that is human...and want all those stuff that would distract me from my pursuit of knowledge.

What advices or comments can you give me?
First off, if you are as intelligent as you say, you'd use proper English. Maybe that's just me. Not to mention the fact that you are 16 and to "know the most complicated calculus, quantum physics, and beyond" is literally unheard of. If it were, you'd be in MIT working on your doctorate by now and not in Nebraska. Picking corn doesn't get you a Ph.D...

Now, being a stuck-up jerk who says he's smart doesn't score the girls. In fact, it really puts them off unless you find some twisted bitch who likes that sorta stuff. In all reality, if you keep doing what you're doing, you are going to die a date-less virgin.


Thanks to all of you for your great advices. I see many well-worth-considering advices. Thank you. (@Ghoti, accually I am split between Christianity and Atheism, about 20%/80% split)

Though, it does seem like that I need to clarify 2 things.

1: A different idea

I was brought up with a very different idea, an idea that perhaps, according to Freudians, entered my deepest unconscious. I was taught that successful people are more liked, and are thus prioritized in marriage. In other words, if you are a nuclear physicist with $500,000/year income, you can pick your favorite girl to marry, out of an entire spectrum of them. On the other hand, if you are a history teacher (no offense, please), you, along with 20 other men are at the mercy of one girl, and you beg god to be picked to marry her, even though she might be ugly, mean, and whatever.

I still see that as true, with a lot of supporting examples. However, when it comes to me, all of this wonderful theory goes away. It never works with me. I have friends, I have friends that are girls, but I have no girlfriends. My parents tell me that the teenage girls of America has no idea the importance of knowledge, as they feed upon their parents. When they grow up, they would eventually figure out that money is important, and inevitably knowledge is important as well. A few things bother me about that. I would like girls to like me for my knowledge, not my money. Also, someone else gets my future wife's virginity because she was immature back then? How ridiculous.

I guess the bottom line here is, I just can't possibly think that is wrong. If it is, then my parents had deceived me for my entire life in order for me to learn knowledge...


2. The So-Called-Superiority

I never meant this in the way that I am superior because of my knowledge, therefore I deserve girls (although I do feel this way).What I really mean is, I am superior , therefore I should not have human pleasures. And it pains me to think how that is not the way the universe runs...



Again, thank you so much, everybody , for your advices. Thank you for identifying with me (for those who did) , and thank you for pointing out my mistakes (for those who did). Thank you for your time and opinion

I would like more opinions too =P

Again, a SMART person would use proper grammar. Perhaps Mommy and Daddy forgot to mention that. Looking past that, marriage isn't the archaic instution that it once was were the Father's arrainged the ingadgment and who you married was based on your(and families) success and social standing. The world isn't flat and marriage can happen between anyone. Being the smartest man in the world isn't going to win you a wife, or for that matter sex.

Now, your parents seem to have no real clue of as to what the teenage American girl thinks- no one knows that. It seems to be this random jumble of fashion, money, media, school and boys. Though they may be thinking about boys, that doesn't exactly include pompus jerks who think they know everything. Hate you burst your bubble but it's a rather large turn-off.
I never meant this in the way that I am superior because of my knowledge, therefore I deserve girls
although I do feel this way
Hmmm...am I missing something here or did you just negate your whole sentance? I guess it speaks on its own.
What I really mean is, I am superior , therefore I should not have human pleasures. And it pains me to think how that is not the way the universe runs...

God, please stop with the pompus shit. Unless you're Buddah in some Tibetian forest, you most likely not thinking of that. Human pleasures are what makes the world go 'round. God gave most of them to us so that we would be happy. Enjoy it if you can manage to.

[cherry_boi]

lol you may be smart, but you are not at all wise if u think you are above feeling human emotions....and even less knowledgeable if u think u can dominate them

[The Joker]

I think Tim covered it. If you aren't interested in reading it all (I was, I found it funny), he's saying you need to get out and give yourself opportunity, and live life with your social life first.

[Grinchilla]

What would make you happy? Just do whatever that is... don't have to follow the concrete identity you set for yourself. It totally kills the sacredness of life if you aren't going to enjoy it, deary. :) (opinion, sorry)

It'll probably be hard for you to find a girl of your standards. Not that I think you're wrong... but girls that are compatible with you would also most likely be as anti-social as you... perhaps try finding an intellectual fling online. A lot easier it'll be.

You're too intimidating for me haha I want an idiot that'll make me feel smart, not someone who actually talks of stuff that actually not retarded.

[Sage]

What would make you happy? Just do whatever that is... don't have to follow the concrete identity you set for yourself. It totally kills the sacredness of life if you aren't going to enjoy it, deary. :) (opinion, sorry)

I think a better word than 'sacredness' could've been used, but this lady's got the right idea, cha.