I just cant cope.... i'm so alone, and i'll always be alone!!

[FallenAngel]

I feel so alone, and the feeling never goes away. :( I basically am alone, i dont live with my family, my friends either live to far away or have their own stuff to deal with, and the one true friend i have who actually understands me is suffering from severe depression, just like i am. Im glad shes getting help tho, and to be honest i kinda envy her.... she still gets to see all her m8s cos she didnt have to leave home like i did, she has a supportive family, and shes gettin therapy..... all the things that i need and don't have.

I cant take all this emptiness anymore. I hate myself and who i've become. I cant stand all these issues i have. I think i have so many mental problems that i dunno where to start. I know i have depression, and i rly think i have an anxiety disorder. But so many other disorders sound like my experiences.... (bipolar/ borderline personality disorder/schizophrenia/& ive started showing signs of anorexia/bulimia) :(
Im too scared to see a therapist tho if i dont then i wont be able to cope with life much longer.
Im just so messed up, and i just think whats the point in living.
And i just can't take it much longer. I self harm, drink and take drugs to make myself feel alive, but i dont wanna have to resort to that!!
Im so alone, no wonder no one ever wants to talk to me.
Im so pathetic, and useless, and im such a horrible person.
It makes me wonder if people would be better off without me.... and to be honest i think the answer is YES!!

I feel like the world is against me... Im always so down and sometimes i can just cry non-stop for agesss... days and days.... it just feels like forever.

I think that no one understands me, and no one cares about me. Im not worth it, and people know this. Thats why i dont have many friends and thats why my family dont care about me anymore!!

Everyone in my life who is supposed to care about me and help me when i need it are the main people who have caused me so much pain in my life, and its a never ending pain.... it'll never go away. :(

I just cant cope anymore, if anything else bad happens to me, i dunno what i'll do.

To understand me, you have to understand my story and what i have been through in my life. If u wanna ask me anything you can.

Feel free to PM me.

[nick]

I'm sorry Becca, it sounds like a sad story and as if you've had bad things happen to you in the past. Really I think you know already that you need professional help, its no good trying to escape that fact through drink and drugs, please go and see your doctor and ask for help. You can't change the things that have already happened, but you can change your future, there should be so much to look forward, you need to take a step in the right direction.

[FallenAngel]

I'm sorry Becca, it sounds like a sad story and as if you've had bad things happen to you in the past. Really I think you know already that you need professional help, its no good trying to escape that fact through drink and drugs, please go and see your doctor and ask for help. You can't change the things that have already happened, but you can change your future, there should be so much to look forward, you need to take a step in the right direction.

Ye i know i need help, the problem is im too scared to get it, plus i dont wna go to a therapist so they can tell me that im insane.. i already know tht. And i know they can help me, i just dunno where i would start. Theres too much to explain.... it seems like its been forever since all my troubles started, when actually its been about 10 years.
And i dunno wot to do about a doctor... i was finally getting to open up to my doctor about things and now tht ive moved they told me i have to find a new doctors.... and im currently on anti-depressants so i hope i get a new doctor before i run out of meds.
But when i get a new doctor i know i wont be able to tell him anything thats troubling me.... cos they'll think im crazy.... they wont understand. I just have too many issues. And it took me agess to trust my previous doctor and he was my doctor for roughly 6 years.

I feel like im always gna be down and that im always gna be alone. And the only way i can stop feeling so negative is if i get help.... i just dno if i can.
At the moment there are only a few ppl who know about my depression... they are my close m8s, and my previous doctor.
I dont know how i'll be able to trust a new doctor =/ I spose i have no choice tho.

[nick]

I dont think you do have much choice, but honestly, they're not going to think that you're insane. They understand about depression and all the other types of problems you've mentioned above, its their job to, and you wont be the first person to have gone to them with these sorts of issues.

I dont know you at all but I dont see how anyone that can express their feelings and problems as you have in your posts above can possibly be insane. You have to trust someone!

[FallenAngel]

I dont think you do have much choice, but honestly, they're not going to think that you're insane. They understand about depression and all the other types of problems you've mentioned above, its their job to, and you wont be the first person to have gone to them with these sorts of issues.

I dont know you at all but I dont see how anyone that can express their feelings and problems as you have in your posts above can possibly be insane. You have to trust someone!

Ok, well im gna think about gettin help. And thnx so much for ur advice. If u ever wna talk then u can always message me.