Define Deep?

[Cloud]

okay so this is something that really reallly reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllly pisses me off
in the self harm calender i see people saying 20 deep OR 20 medium or 20 Shallow

but how do we know what they class as deep
its does make a difference when we think that they mean the same as what we assume they mean

for me i class deep as you should need medical attention/to apply pressure because it wont stop on its own

medium it bleeds a fair bit but will eventually stop on its own

and shallow just either a scratch or only just breaks the skin and stops after a short while

but ive seen people say stuff like 20 deep daily. how would you manage to be getting stitches that often without alert being raised or something being done about it? And how would you manage to still cause damage while your bleeding excessively and then tending to multiple wounds at once without passing out and getting blood everywhere?

To me it seems to be that its more bragging rights than logging the damage.
And im aware that some of you may get offended by this
dont know how its offensive as its jsut a query but hey ho.

So, what do you classify as "shallow," "medium," or "deep"?

[Sunshine Girl]

Calum, i have thought the exact same thing.
I think people scale it differently.

[OnlyByTheNight.]

I personally see 'deep' as a cut that will leave a permanent scar. I see medium as one that will leave a scar for a few months.
And shallow is one that is basically a scratch or a scrape, it won't leave any scar.

But naturally everyones view of this will change, the people who are hardcore cutters and the people who have only started cutting will obviously have totally different views on which cuts are "deep" and which cuts are not.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I know you and I have already discussed this, Calum, but I agree. That's how I wound define it, too. If a "deep" cut isn't sorta serious, what is?

*Shallow is like falling off of your bike into a bush and getting scratched up a little, or accidentally nicking yourself while shaving. This doesn't leave a permanent mark unless you pick at the scab constantly and don't let it heal properly. Any scars left from these types of wounds tend to fade with time until they're not visible unless you know they're there (or not visible at all).
*Medium bleeds, but stops on its own in a fairly reasonable amount of time. It may or may not scar depending on the person and whether it gets infected/isn't allowed to heal very well, but the scar won't be super nasty.
*Deep requires you to apply pressure or to get stitches in order to stop the bleeding, it won't stop when just left to it's own devices. A deep wound may eventually stop on its own, but it will have continued to bleed steadily for too long beforehand, and will then have proceeded to continue to ooze/weep for a while before stopping entirely. Deep wounds are serious wounds, and they do tend to scar.

[nick]

I dont feel all that qualified to argue what is a deep cut or not, but I just hope to god you wont turn this into some kind of competition. "My cuts deeper than yours". Please dont.

[MadManWithaBox]

well its been said, Its about scale. What some people classify as deep some may classify as medium, and vice versa, It comes down to the person typing and how they judge it I suppose.

[Bougainvillea]

I don't even know why that sell harm calendar is up.
I hate it.

[Harley Quinn]

I know you and I have already discussed this, Calum, but I agree. That's how I wound define it, too. If a "deep" cut isn't sorta serious, what is?

*Shallow is like falling off of your bike into a bush and getting scratched up a little, or accidentally nicking yourself while shaving. This doesn't leave a permanent mark unless you pick at the scab constantly and don't let it heal properly. Any scars left from these types of wounds tend to fade with time until they're not visible unless you know they're there (or not visible at all).
*Medium bleeds, but stops on its own in a fairly reasonable amount of time. It may or may not scar depending on the person and whether it gets infected/isn't allowed to heal very well, but the scar won't be super nasty.
*Deep requires you to apply pressure or to get stitches in order to stop the bleeding, it won't stop when just left to it's own devices. A deep wound may eventually stop on its own, but it will have continued to bleed steadily for too long beforehand, and will then have proceeded to continue to ooze/weep for a while before stopping entirely. Deep wounds are serious wounds, and they do tend to scar.
What Jessi says is true..

okay so for me.

Deep is a cut that won't stop bleeding in the first 24 hours and needs urgent hospital treatment and such, if it's deep it is also a scar that stays forever.

Medium is a cut that bleeds for a while and that may but not always require certain treatment, but it stops bleeding quite soon. It only leaves a scar that in time will fade. But again if you can see a gap of let's say little finger wide that's deep.

Shallow is a a surface cut simple as, something that will fade I like a week or a few days.

[The Batman]

I've never cut myself intensionally deep enough that it would cause a hospital visit but most of my cuts are permanent scars in fact some are almost a year old.

Shallow: Just a scratch that brings up a few drops of blood.

Medium: Where you start to see the white flesh a little bit and it bleeds for up to 30 or 45 minutes.

Deep: When it hurts for days and it's bleeding for more than an hour. It looks disgusting and it's more prone to diseases so if you do a lot of them you will HAVE to seek medical attention or you will be fucked up.

But meh that's just me. I don't remember the last time I said how deep my cuts were on the s/h calendar because to me a cut is a cut and it does just as much pain emotionally no matter how deep it is.

[ShatteredWings]

i'd call it deep if you should go to the hospital for it.

for me i can't use how much it bleeds/scars as a judge. everything scars, and i bleed a supprising amount for relativly shallower breaks in skin.

I'd have to argue "shallow" being barely breaking skin. I don't even count that.

[Discomposure]

I actually agree with you Calum. I wouldn't post in there, I don't see the point. I'd also define deep as quite a bit of blood and often needs medical attention.

[Lily of the Valley]

To me it seems to be that its more bragging rights than logging the damage.Psh, that's the whole purpose of the thread. That's why everyone posts in it. Why the hell no one's realised they're doing that is beyond me.

If people were cutting themselves deeply as much as they claim, they would have lost way too much blood. I'd be interested to see what the cuts actually look like. Probably got scratched by their cats half the time. :lol:

~Maggot

[dead]

Psh, that's the whole purpose of the thread. That's why everyone posts in it. Why the hell no one's realised they're doing that is beyond me.

If people were cutting themselves deeply as much as they claim, they would have lost way too much blood. I'd be interested to see what the cuts actually look like. Probably got scratched by their cats half the time. :lol:

~Maggot
I wouldn't think the cuts would look like scratches from a cat but merely instead people not judging right, and I use the thread for telling someone if I had self harmed without saying it to there face.

[Lily of the Valley]

I wouldn't think the cuts would look like scratches from a cat but merely instead people not judging right, and I use the thread for telling someone if I had self harmed without saying it to there face.Whatever helps you sleep at night, deary.

~Maggot

[-Silence]

Back in the day that thread was helpful. Is it still? I dunno, I try not to go into it because of urges.

To me, deep is gaping. To me, when you cut if you see a moderate gap, that it deep. Everyone is different for what they consider deep, that partly depends on how much, long, and/or severe you cut.

Medium is a very small gap and shallow is a faint cut. A shallow cut to me is dragging a razor down your arm without any force.

[Darkness]

1-2mm shallow
3-4mm medium
6-7mm deep
8mm+ too deep,

[Cloud]

1-2mm shallow
3-4mm medium
6-7mm deep
8mm+ too deep,

... how do you go about measuring that
you can hardly just stab a ruler in there and see where the blood comes to...

[Darkness]

I agree it's difficut to gage but one can use ones own judgment to certain extent.

[Cloud]

not really for tiny measurements
and tbh if i have blood leaking out of my arm im not gonna exactly try to find out/remember the exact depth....

[Darkness]

Well some people aren't pancked by blood and if you can't see the cut of the good old red stuff- it's usally deep, I usally judge by the blood stain on the knife if I'm honest.

[Sunshine Girl]

I don't even know why that sell harm calendar is up.
I hate it.

Agreed.
but when people need help i think they should post in it.

[AllThatIsLeft]

reason numero uno I don't go in either Calender, both annoy the hell out of me.

and I couldnt agree more tha it's about bragging rights.
and it grosses me out.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Deep being the opposite of shallow. Anything that can do damage to veins is too deep and cutting in general is always going to be classified as deep to me. I always thought about it that way when I did it.

[theOperaGhost]

To me it seems to be that its more bragging rights than logging the damage.


I think the self harm calendar used to have a good purpose and people really used it to reach out for help, however I really think all it is is bragging anymore. And, no offense, but if people are really cutting as much as they say they are, I can't even see how they are surviving. I really think it's turned into people posting in there just to get pity from others.

[Cloud]

I think the self harm calendar used to have a good purpose and people really used it to reach out for help, however I really think all it is is bragging anymore. And, no offense, but if people are really cutting as much as they say they are, I can't even see how they are surviving. I really think it's turned into people posting in there just to get pity from others.

why no offence to that?
why should we waste our time on pity seeking attention whores?????/

jared you basicly just said my thoughts that led me to make this thread
how the fudge do you survive that much damage that often

[Triceratops]

I remember the whole self-harm debate a couple of months ago.
Those who have known me around here long enough should already know my views on the self-harm calendar.

Just to sum my thoughts up - I'd say about 85% of those who regularly post in that fucking thread are attention whores.

[Cloud]

I remember the whole self-harm debate a couple of months ago.
Those who have known me around here long enough should already know my views on the self-harm calendar.

Just to sum my thoughts up - I'd say about 85% of those who regularly post in that fucking thread are attention whores.

exactly
and there easy to spot by the absurd number next to 'deep'

[Discomposure]

Alot of the "deep" cuts could actually be superficial self-harming.
We'll never know in all honesty, some may be genuinley reaching out for help and I don't doubt that for a second that some post in there as it helps. But now, alot I believe post in there for attention.
If I cut really deep, I wouldn't go straight on here and tell everyone, tbh I think I'd shit myself and be worried about it all night!
EDIT: Not literally shit myself.

[The Batman]

The s/h calendar was comforting, like you would post and get a pm or reply from one of your friends and they would tell you what you needed to hear(not wanted) and you'd just feel a lot better and even by reading the replies it would make it better knowing that there are people on this site that not only care about you but they care about the other members as well. But now it's just a huge trigger going into it reading all the depressing posts of people cutting multiple times really deep in different areas constantly. I don't know who'd lying neither do I care because i usually avoid it unless unless it's someone i'm close to posting there. But yea I think people should reevaluate their cuts and see what's the real depth.

[MysticalBurrito]

I'm not a attention whore, oh, And just before I forget thanks for calling a couple of my close friends attention whores too.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, deary.

~Maggot
You're rude.


I know you and I have already discussed this, Calum, but I agree. That's how I wound define it, too. If a "deep" cut isn't sorta serious, what is?

*Shallow is like falling off of your bike into a bush and getting scratched up a little, or accidentally nicking yourself while shaving. This doesn't leave a permanent mark unless you pick at the scab constantly and don't let it heal properly. Any scars left from these types of wounds tend to fade with time until they're not visible unless you know they're there (or not visible at all).
*Medium bleeds, but stops on its own in a fairly reasonable amount of time. It may or may not scar depending on the person and whether it gets infected/isn't allowed to heal very well, but the scar won't be super nasty.
*Deep requires you to apply pressure or to get stitches in order to stop the bleeding, it won't stop when just left to it's own devices. A deep wound may eventually stop on its own, but it will have continued to bleed steadily for too long beforehand, and will then have proceeded to continue to ooze/weep for a while before stopping entirely. Deep wounds are serious wounds, and they do tend to scar.

And just so I don't get off topic I agree with Jessi.

[Cloud]

I'm not a attention whore, oh, And just before I forget thanks for calling a couple of my close friends attention whores too.


but notice that we didnt state ANY names
so your maiking it up yourself here and taking it personally when its not meant to be

that being said i cant help but state the truth

[Triceratops]

exactly
and there easy to spot by the absurd number next to 'deep'

Those who are blatantly lying through their teeth.
If a lot of what they said were to be true, they'd actually be in hospital, or possibly dead.

I'm not a attention whore, oh, And just before I forget thanks for calling a couple of my close friends attention whores too.

Read below.

I'd say about 85% of those who regularly post in that fucking thread are attention whores.

Notice how I said 85% of people who post in the self-harm calendar, which isn't every single person who happens to post in there.
I don't know who your friends are, but they actually might be attention whores FYI, as a huge portion of people who often do post in there clearly are so. It's not hard to tell.

[theOperaGhost]

Those who are blatantly lying through their teeth.
If a lot of what they said were to be true, they'd actually be in hospital, or possibly dead.



Read below.



Notice how I said 85% of people who post in the self-harm calendar, which isn't every single person who happens to post in there.
I don't know who your friends are, but they actually might be attention whores FYI, as a huge portion of people who often do post in there clearly are so. It's not hard to tell.

Precisely. It really is not hard at all to tell who is lying. Some people just make it obvious. I'm relatively impressed if someone can mutilate themselves enough to be in the hospital, yet they rush to VT to post that they cut. It just doesn't work. This of course isn't everyone who posts in there, but I can positively say a majority of the posts are just for attention.

Now in saying they are just for attention, I'm not saying these people aren't actually cutting. I have a feeling that they are severely stretching the truth though...both in the amount of cuts and they severity of the cuts themselves.

[Cloud]

Precisely. It really is not hard at all to tell who is lying. Some people just make it obvious. I'm relatively impressed if someone can mutilate themselves enough to be in the hospital, yet they rush to VT to post that they cut. It just doesn't work. This of course isn't everyone who posts in there, but I can positively say a majority of the posts are just for attention.

Now in saying they are just for attention, I'm not saying these people aren't actually cutting. I have a feeling that they are severely stretching the truth though...both in the amount of cuts and they severity of the cuts themselves.

'OMG IM SWIMMING IN MY OWN BLOOD FROM THAT GASH ON MY ARM

i should let vt know :)'


unless they do that then its gonna be clear bullshit

[nick]

Does it matter if some people exaggerate, does it matter if they need attention, isnt the point of this forum to try and give them the help they need, not to knock the shit out of them for asking?

[Cloud]

Does it matter if some people exaggerate, does it matter if they need attention, isnt the point of this forum to try and give them the help they need, not to knock the shit out of them for asking?

well why shold we give the attention whores the attention when all there doing it for is attention?
some people have genuine problems
its them who deserve the help
not these fake arses who just waste everyones time

[The Batman]

Does it matter if some people exaggerate, does it matter if they need attention, isnt the point of this forum to try and give them the help they need, not to knock the shit out of them for asking?

It's not only stupid but it's dangerous to lie about self harm. Truthfully I have thought about doing it when i found out a friend of mine started cutting because I felt responsible and everytime i read that one of my friends have done it yes it does hurt me.

[nick]

Just because someones way of asking for help comes over to you as "attention whore" doesnt mean they dont have a problem. People have different ways of expressing their problems and asking for help, its not necessarily just for attention, there's probably some other reason underneath.

[Cloud]

Just because someones way of asking for help comes over to you as "attention whore" doesnt mean they dont have a problem. People have different ways of expressing their problems and asking for help, its not necessarily just for attention, there's probably some other reason underneath.

if people have genuine problems then there is no need to exagerate and lie about it

[theOperaGhost]

It's not only stupid but it's dangerous to lie about self harm. Truthfully I have thought about doing it when i found out a friend of mine started cutting because I felt responsible and everytime i read that one of my friends have done it yes it does hurt me.

Exactly! This happened with one of my friends on this site (a lot of you might know who I'm talking about). I spent many sleepless nights talking to him and then he came out that he had been lying about his self harm. Now...I love the kid, but I was genuinely upset for a while. I spent months worrying about his health and well being all to find out that nothing was like he was saying it was. It is a dangerous thing to lie about it.

[-Silence]

well why shold we give the attention whores the attention when all there doing it for is attention?

Because if they are going to this length to get the attention there is obviously something wrong.

And like I said, the thread use to be very useful and actually help.
I had started it ages ago in my diary to keep track.

[Cloud]

ilence;678169']Because if they are going to this length to get the attention there is obviously something wrong.

yes but if there problems are genuine then they dont need to bullshit and whore the attention
they can be honest with us and still get the help

and im aware that yo started the thread with good intentions but people like this have ruined it and turned it into a contest

[Bougainvillea]

I personally think it needs to be taken down. It serves as a reminder to those who actually have a problem. And some people take it too far. It can be offensive. To those who have went through a hard time in their life.
Including me...

I just want to see that thread gone. It does no good, in my eyes.
If you have a problem, PM someone. Me. I don't care. Just DO something about it. And if your self-harm wounds really are "deep". Seek medical attention. And not VT attention. Because that's just a tad bit more helpful.

[Cloud]

And if your self-harm wounds really are "deep". Seek medical attention. And not VT attention. Because that's just a tad bit more helpful.

Well said

[-Silence]

It doesn't exactly have to be problems that they have. They can just not get sufficient attention at home so they go and exaggerate things to where they can get it. No matter what something isn't quite right and they feel the need to find attention anywhere and anyway they can.

Why hold that against them?

[Cloud]

ilence;678189']It doesn't exactly have to be problems that they have. They can just not get sufficient attention at home so they go and exaggerate things to where they can get it. No matter what something isn't quite right and they feel the need to find attention anywhere and anyway they can.

Why hold that against them?

well why should they have to lie and make it seem like there life sucks
why not jst make a thread in another forum thats actualy relevant saying 'i feel so isolated at home' which wil actualy get them the help and support they need rather than false support for a false problem

[Lily of the Valley]

ilence;678189']It doesn't exactly have to be problems that they have. They can just not get sufficient attention at home so they go and exaggerate things to where they can get it. No matter what something isn't quite right and they feel the need to find attention anywhere and anyway they can.

Why hold that against them?I don't like whiny, immature attention whores. HOW DARE I?!

~Maggot

[ShatteredWings]

ilence;678169']Because if they are going to this length to get the attention there is obviously something wrong.

ilence;678189']No matter what something isn't quite right and they feel the need to find attention anywhere and anyway they can.

Why hold that against them?

I think I agree with this, a lot.

Anyone who's posting is having trouble. No one in their right mind would just "make up" something like what's being posted lately (lately I've just been reading, not posting).

It's kinda sad when everything gets to the point where people think you have to be "bad" to deserve any support...

'Cause it shouldn't be like that. any one who's hurting should be able to get help.

I don't like whiny, immature attention whores. HOW DARE I?!

~Maggot
Maybe, but you don't have to be so abrasive about it.
And, if you'd like to bicker with me about it, use the PM system kthx

[-Silence]

You don't have to lie.
You can be straight with them or give suggestions as to how in a way help.
Or you can ignore it, you are not forced to respond.

Also, if this is taken down why not take down all the psychiatric ward forums because all people do in there is stretch the truth and search for attention also.

Who cares about the one or two people that really do need the support, right?

Edit:
Maggot, well then no one demands a response, if it seems whiny hit the back button and click on another thread.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

ilence;678189']It doesn't exactly have to be problems that they have. They can just not get sufficient attention at home so they go and exaggerate things to where they can get it. No matter what something isn't quite right and they feel the need to find attention anywhere and anyway they can.

Why hold that against them?

I don't anyone is suggesting that people who feel like they have to lie for attention don't have some sort of a problem. You can't honestly feel that it's good to encourage it, though, yes? Just because they have a problem an that's why they feel the need to do things for attention... it doesn't give them an excuse. It just explains why they do it. Giving them attention for it encourages them to keep doing it because it works. You can't ignore them entirely either, of course, it's complicated in some ways. But just like there's no "excuse" for cutting, just an explanation of why, there's no "excuse" for those who may lie about something so serious. I think that's what people are complaining about, how hard it is to tell who has a problem and who has a different problem altogether. When so many people lie or severely exaggerate, it makes it harder to believe everyone else, and it's a big mess.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I said this earlier to Cal, Tom and Christy. Lately it just seems like whenever kids post in the thread they are like battle scars. My scars of mistakes, I look at them and get really sad. If you want tips to help stop cutting come her, but if your bleeding prefusely don't expect one of us to jump through you moniter and fix you up a bandage. If you've cut yourself badly you need to get help, not mess around her. Get help!

[Cloud]

how are we meant to offer help when all we see is
'14245 deep'
'whats wrong'
'i dont want to talk about it'

you have stuff like that going on
but how are we meant to help
we try and try
yet get nothing
we cant solve a problem if we dont know it
why come to a help forum
then when offered a chance for help reject it?

[Lily of the Valley]

;678197']Maybe, but you don't have to be so abrasive about it.
And, if you'd like to bicker with me about it, use the PM system kthxYou're starting a conversation with me and then being all bitchy and telling me to go out of my way to bother you? Wtf?
ilence;678198']Edit:
Maggot, well then no one demands a response, if it seems whiny hit the back button and click on another thread....Which is what I've done. I've never verbally attacked anyone in the Calender. But we're talking about it now, so I'm allowed to talk about it too, right? Or am I just not as good as you are? :rolleyes:

~Maggot

how are we meant to offer help when all we see is
'14245 deep'
'whats wrong'
'i dont want to talk about it'What I really hate is when they say about how they're thinking of ending it all and life is crap and blah, blah, blah. If you really were thinking about killing yourself, you sure as hell wouldn't broadcast it and see who will jump up and go "NO, YOU'RE A PRESHUS LITTLE FLOWAH. YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

~Maggot

[-Silence]

Which is what I've done. I've never verbally attacked anyone in the Calender. But we're talking about it now, so I'm allowed to talk about it too, right? Or am I just not as good as you are? :rolleyes:

~Maggot

That's not what I meant. You are just as good as everyone here.
I meant if you see a whiny thread or post, just ignore it.
You are not obligated to post in one, is what I was trying to say.

That wasnt meant as to where I don't want to hear your opinion here.
Please feel free, I'm not going to hold anything against you for having an opinion.

[Rutherford The Brave]

What I really hate is when they say about how they're thinking of ending it all and life is crap and blah, blah, blah. If you really were thinking about killing yourself, you sure as hell wouldn't broadcast it and see who will jump up and go "NO, YOU'RE A PRESHUS LITTLE FLOWAH. YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

~Maggot

Yeah, that is true but I mean some people want to tell the people they love why they are doing it. They don't want people to be like where are there? But I mean, don't make it a Vt thing. I mean we all care about everyone (Except those we hate) but It's not like any of us can drive out just to save one soul.

[dead]

What I really hate is when they say about how they're thinking of ending it all and life is crap and blah, blah, blah. If you really were thinking about killing yourself, you sure as hell wouldn't broadcast it and see who will jump up and go "NO, YOU'RE A PRESHUS LITTLE FLOWAH. YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

~Maggot

Most people who tend to tell others that there going to end it is because they either want to say bye or someone wants to them to get help so they can live on

[Lily of the Valley]

Yeah, that is true but I mean some people want to tell the people they love why they are doing it. They don't want people to be like where are there? But I mean, don't make it a Vt thing. I mean we all care about everyone (Except those we hate) but It's not like any of us can drive out just to save one soul....Wtf did you just say?Most people who tend to tell others that there going to end it is because they either want to say bye or someone wants to them to get help so they can live onSeeing as you're one of those people, your opinion is completely unimportant and useless.ilence;678214']You are not obligated to post in one, is what I was trying to say.NO. FREAKING. WAY. :eek:

~Maggot

[dead]

Seeing as you're one of those people, your opinion is completely unimportant and useless

~Maggot
seeing as your one of what people suicidal people? Yes I am but would't that make be able to have first hand experience?

[Lily of the Valley]

seeing as your one of what people suicidal people? Yes I am but would't that make be able to have first hand experience?I didn't say suicidal. That's irrelevant. You're one of the people who prances around flaunting your lyk isuez and whoring for attention and sympathy. So your opinion on the matter is insignificant, to say the least.

~Maggot

[Maverick]

Let's keep on topic, please.

[dead]

I didn't say suicidal. That's irrelevant. You're one of the people who prances around flaunting your lyk isuez and whoring for attention and sympathy. So your opinion on the matter is insignificant, to say the least.

~Maggot

i'm not whoring for attention i'm looking for a answer to deal with my manic depression and my emotional problems(cant remember the official name it has to do with uncontrollable actions linked to your mood).

[Cloud]

i'm not whoring for attention i'm looking for a answer to deal with my manic depression and my emotional problems(cant remember the official name it has to do with uncontrollable actions linked to your mood).

erm might i mention

Let's keep on topic, please.

i want my thread staying open.....

but laura does have a point
your im ending it or whatever thread did seem that way
you jsut had oki bye
no explanation?
no means to gain help
just ima end it so bye
which as you well know would only gain a wave of sympathetic posts and OH NO DONT DO IIIIIT I MISS YOU TO MUCH ...

[Lily of the Valley]

Let's keep on topic, please.Alrighty, sorry.

Anyway, I think classifying whether it's deep or whatever is stupid. What the hell is the point in that? Making yourself feel like tough shit?

~Maggot

[Cloud]

Alrighty, sorry.

Anyway, I think classifying whether it's deep or whatever is stupid. What the hell is the point in that? Making yourself feel like tough shit?

~Maggot

Ive actually discussed this with ant as to how the opinion of what is deep changes with different people and its gonna cause alot of different reactions with different people and ive actualy siggested completely scrapping saying the damage youve done and jsut saying that youve done damage
so rather than 2356234 Deep
234124 shallow

its jsut
ive cut/burned/had a dance/ whatever and then maybe jsut sayin why or somethin so oyu can actually get some help from it

but people are always gonna try to make it seem like they need more help and will add figures to it anyway..

[Tiberius]

i'm not whoring for attention i'm looking for a answer to deal with my manic depression and my emotional problems(cant remember the official name it has to do with uncontrollable actions linked to your mood).

Well, you ain't gonna get what you're looking for here. Sorry to break the news but that's something that only you, family and a phycologist can fix.

Anyways, I frankly find the whole "cutting deep" thing to be a bunch of attention whoring crap. Come on, if you actually cut deep then you'd be a blood sodened heap on the floor. Face it, if you're cutting whatever part of you that you cut, then it is certainly not going to be deep because you'd be dead if it were.

[theOperaGhost]

i'm not whoring for attention i'm looking for a answer to deal with my manic depression and my emotional problems(cant remember the official name it has to do with uncontrollable actions linked to your mood).

I think everyone is being a bit harsh on you. Now, I will say this...we can't really give you an answer to deal with you depression and emotional problems. We can however offer support. That is what this site is about.

Sorry that I took this off topic again...I just wanted to clear up something.

[Darkness]

Just because someones way of asking for help comes over to you as "attention whore" doesn't mean they don't have a problem. People have different ways of expressing their problems and asking for help, its not necessarily just for attention, there's probably some other reason underneath.

Nick you're just too nice, it is wrong to whore by lying FULL DAMN STOP.

I've never cut deep, I've tried to allot but my razor blades are only 4mm high so I can't without stealing a knife from the kitchen.

The Self harm calendar CAN be useful, but I think we need a new way of reporting what we've done, maybe just be a little more vague, I don't see whats wrong with the Non Self Harm calender which I found to be quite encouraging, not sure why we can't merge them together...

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

The reason we don't merge them is because they really are separate topics. The NSH calendar is meant to be more positive. It's made up of posts chronicling how long it's been, how much progress is being made, and encouragements. I think it's important to keep that separate from the log of how many times you've cut today and how shitty it's made you feel. The SH calendar can stay or go, as far as I care, but the NSH calendar does serve a separate and altogether helpful purpose. When you're really working to quit, it feels good to be able to post in there, and to say, "It's been another 3 days," or whatever, and to see posts from other people working towards the same goal. If you go in there and instead see a bunch of posts talking about how much people are hurting themselves, it's not going to be helpful for you.

[Cloud]

but the NSH calendar does serve a separate and altogether helpful purpose.

Unless of course youve got people saying stpid things like
30 minutes
or an hour

i find that to be really stupid its like hey a happy thread im gonna go make it all depressive

[NightFighter]

I think the NSH calendar is a good idea if people are positive about it. If people post in it to basically say they just cut its does make the thread depressive. It should be more of 'I have just beaten my record' type of thread.

I was thinking that the SH calendar should either be removed or changed.
Maybe instead of telling us how many times you cut and how deep they were it could be more of a questionaire e.g
-Why did you do it?
-How do you feel now that you have self harmed?
-How long had you gone without selfharming?
-Was it worth it?
-Who would be upset if they found out?
-If you could go back, how would you have distracted yourself?

I dont know. Im just throwing about ideas.
Maybe if the thread was more of posting your emotions rather than posting about your cuts it would be more popular and more helpful. Aslong as people dont overexaggerate and keep things factual.

[Cloud]

I think the NHS calendar is a good idea if people are positive about it. If people post in it to basically say they just cut its does make the thread depressive. It should be more of 'I have just beaten my record' type of thread.

I was thinking that the SH calendar should either be removed or changed.
Maybe instead of telling us how many times you cut and how deep they were it could be more of a questionaire e.g
-Why did you do it?
-How do you feel now that you have self harmed?
-How long had you gone without selfharming?
-Was it worth it?
-Who would be upset if they found out?
-If you could go back, how would you have distracted yourself?

I dont know. Im just throwing about ideas.
Maybe if the thread was more of posting your emotions rather than posting about your cuts it would be more popular and more helpful. Aslong as people dont overexaggerate and keep things factual.

I had the sorta same idea about the SH calender. because you cant really exagerate or lie about cuts if oyur not saying how many or how deep they are.
I like that idea

[Giles]

I don't even know why that sell harm calendar is up.
I hate it.

Same, I know it says that it's in no way promoting self harm... It seems like a competition.

[Darkness]

We should do that... lets make a positive self harm calender group!

[Lily of the Valley]

I think the NSH calendar is a good idea if people are positive about it. If people post in it to basically say they just cut its does make the thread depressive. It should be more of 'I have just beaten my record' type of thread.

I was thinking that the SH calendar should either be removed or changed.
Maybe instead of telling us how many times you cut and how deep they were it could be more of a questionaire e.g
-Why did you do it?
-How do you feel now that you have self harmed?
-How long had you gone without selfharming?
-Was it worth it?
-Who would be upset if they found out?
-If you could go back, how would you have distracted yourself?Which is only going to encourage people being fantastically overdramatic and emo and whiny about their 'issuez'. I say we burn the thread and make razor figurines out of its ashes.

~Maggot

[Rutherford The Brave]

Which is only going to encourage people being fantastically overdramatic and emo and whiny about their 'issuez'. I say we burn the thread and make razor figurines out of its ashes.

~Maggot

Just because it isn't helping you and its a pest to you doesn't mean we are getting rid of it. I'm not a fan of everything that goes on in there, but I mean if other people want attention for that kind of stuff then let them have it, who are you to judge?

[Lily of the Valley]

Just because it isn't helping you and its a pest to you doesn't mean we are getting rid of it.Bad, bad, bad, baaaaad logic. I think it should be gotten rid of because it's just a bad thread that doesn't do anyone any good. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings toward it. But I said it should be burned, because I think it should be. Lrn2reedplz.I'm not a fan of everything that goes on in there, but I mean other people want attention for that kind of stuff then let them have it, who are you to judge?They can have at it. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to judge them for it. Why shouldn't I? Am I not allowed to judge someone based on their personality? Am I supposed to completely ignore their personality and make no recognition of it? Or am I supposed to process it and feel completely neutral toward every single bit of information? What the hell is the point in that?

My point is that the "who are you to judge" platitude also needs to be burned because it's pure idiocy. I have every right to make my own judgments about another person, just like you have every right to claim not to judge.

~Maggot

[Rutherford The Brave]

Bad, bad, bad, baaaaad logic. I think it should be gotten rid of because it's just a bad thread that doesn't do anyone any good. It has nothing to do with my personal feelings toward it. But I said it should be burned, because I think it should be. Lrn2reedplz.They can have at it. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to judge them for it. Why shouldn't I? Am I not allowed to judge someone based on their personality? Am I supposed to completely ignore their personality and make no recognition of it? Or am I supposed to process it and feel completely neutral toward every single bit of information? What the hell is the point in that?

My point is that the "who are you to judge" platitude also needs to be burned because it's pure idiocy. I have every right to make my own judgments about another person, just like you have every right to claim not to judge.

~Maggot

Who cares though? Honestly, you can moan and groan about how worthless it is and nothing will happen. Its a thread that people post in all the time. I honestly could care less if it stays up, I stopped cutting. But the point is that its supposed to be appealing to people who are cutting. I mean that its a place where they can get support. Which I honestly don't feel like giving because you just sank a blade into your body. Obviously you need some help other than a bunch of teens all across the world. Since your on the outside ignore it, its just a stupid thread to you. Why do you care this much to complain about it? Just leave it alone.

[Lily of the Valley]

Who cares though? Honestly, you can moan and groan about how worthless it is and nothing will happen. Its a thread that people post in all the time. I honestly could care less if it stays up, I stopped cutting.I don't care if it stays up either. It doesn't affect my life in any way. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the fact that it doesn't do anyone any good.
But the point is that its supposed to be appealing to people who are cutting. I mean that its a place where they can get support.Almost no one gets support there, the just whine. It's not a legitimate support thread or tool. Why do you care this much to complain about it? Just leave it alone.Oh yes, because I speaking of it, I must be engulfed in fury for its existence. RIGHT. Kinda like when two people talk about the weather, it's because they care that freaking much about it. Naturally, anything we discuss must be of the utmost importance in our lives.

~Maggot

[Project Delta]

To be honest deepness is declared upon opinion. Deep for some people could be medium for others. Thats all i have to say

[Cloud]

To be honest deepness is declared upon opinion. Deep for some people could be medium for others. Thats all i have to say

And its clear that the people whos deep means others medium are going to be the ones who are attention whoring or are new to self harm usually..
and its that which causes all the confusion and adds to the attention whoring which gets oh so annoying

[Tiberius]

I don't care if it stays up either. It doesn't affect my life in any way. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to point out the fact that it doesn't do anyone any good.
Almost no one gets support there, the just whine. It's not a legitimate support thread or tool. Oh yes, because I speaking of it, I must be engulfed in fury for its existence. RIGHT. Kinda like when two people talk about the weather, it's because they care that freaking much about it. Naturally, anything we discuss must be of the utmost importance in our lives.

~Maggot

Who are you to say if we need it or not? The only times that you have posted in there, it has been to ask rather stupid questions and to "poke the fire." Besides, you've been here for less than a week and now you are expecting that we delete something that's been a part of the site for over 4 years simply because you have some vicious problem with people who might be seeking help/venting or the occasional person who is attention whoring. The only part of that thread that bothers me is when people say "5 deep 2 shallow." That's just a bunch of crap since they aren't cutting deep and we all know that because, like I said ealier, they'd be dead if that were the case.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I don't think she expects us to delete it just because she doesn't see the point, Chris. In fact, she's said that she doesn't care if it stays or goes, she just doesn't think it's productive. Not once has she said, "You must take this down because I said so." She's allowed to have an opinion on whether she likes the thread or thinks it's useless, and if she wanted to start a, "Have the SH calendar taken down!" movement, she could. But nowhere does Laura imply that she's center of the world and that we have to delete the calendar to suit her will.

[The Joker]

The only thing I don't like about it, is the fact that people go right to VT to post about it.

[Amyxoxo]

Well, i think that this has been a vital tool in helping many people to stop self harming. Everyone has their own interpritations of deep and you shouldnt dis them or anything else because of what they think. tbh i think that this is quite a stupid post and you have just sparked atlot of anger in many people. Well done!

[Cloud]

Well, i think that this has been a vital tool in helping many people to stop self harming. Everyone has their own interpritations of deep and you shouldnt dis them or anything else because of what they think. tbh i think that this is quite a stupid post and you have just sparked atlot of anger in many people. Well done!

Thanks :)
But when you look back
ive got dam near all the people agreeing with me
And if they managed to be mature about it and not take it personally why doesnt everyone else unless of course what ive said could be what their guilty of?
ive made no accusations and have only raised a fair point so theres no need for anger

[Amyxoxo]

I think that this post had good intentions but mabie the way you have said it that is all, sorry :/

[Project Delta]

The only thing I don't like about it, is the fact that people go right to VT to post about it.

I agree with matt here. It is quite annoying to have people coming to vt to post about it. It's like a record of all you have done. I ahve similar thoughts to the Self harm calender

[Bougainvillea]

I totally agree with Matt. I hate the posts that are like "22 deep. im bleeding all over the place. im about to pass out."
It's ridiculous, and not only that, it calls for more 'omg. wut hppnd. r u kk???!11!!?"

[clone]

it can be useful but when people say

OMG I CAN SEE MY BONE AND MY ARM IS ABOUT TO FALL OFF!

ya... what ever let people who need the help post

[Lily of the Valley]

I totally agree with Matt. I hate the posts that are like "22 deep. im bleeding all over the place. im about to pass out."
It's ridiculous, and not only that, it calls for more 'omg. wut hppnd. r u kk???!11!!?"If people just posted like, "Three last night," that'd be fine. But it's always "2930482304328 supah dupah deep" or "I couldn't help myself! My life is so terrible! Woe is meeeeeeeeee." Either way, the attention-whoring is annoying and completely unnecessary.

~Maggot

[Rutherford The Brave]

If people just posted like, "Three last night," that'd be fine. But it's always "2930482304328 supah dupah deep" or "I couldn't help myself! My life is so terrible! Woe is meeeeeeeeee." Either way, the attention-whoring is annoying and completely unnecessary.

~Maggot

And your complete disrespect for people with struggles, is beyond annoying and unnecessary. Just stop moaning and groaning about the existance of a thread you don't even post in! If you don't want to read it, don't read it. If you don't want to see it, don't look at it! But don't come here and whine about how its sooooooooooooooo annoyyyyyyyyyyyingggg and itsssssss sooooooooo unnescessaryyyyyyyyy. I'm telling you nicely, to pull the stick out. Be mature and ignore it.

[Holding On*]

I was wondering this exact topic the other night. I had a really nbad night and ending up cutting even though I was at over 2 months without it. looking at peoples descirptions, I could class them as either shallow medium or deep!! lol. To me I see them as medium. Another person who saw them said deep! and was in shock at them (she shs too though). I suppose it is also down to your 'standard' as such. If you reguarly cut at a certain depth etc etc but then do some that are less, then you are likely to say shallo or vice versa!

[Lily of the Valley]

And your complete disrespect for people with struggles, is beyond annoying and unnecessary. Just stop moaning and groaning about the existance of a thread you don't even post in! If you don't want to read it, don't read it. If you don't want to see it, don't look at it! But don't come here and whine about how its sooooooooooooooo annoyyyyyyyyyyyingggg and itsssssss sooooooooo unnescessaryyyyyyyyy. I'm telling you nicely, to pull the stick out. Be mature and ignore it.Ignore my moaning and groaning, then. Besides, I'm not the only one, so why are you only throwing a tantrum at me? I'm glad someone finally agrees with me on the issue, and I'm glad I can talk to someone about it. Are you really going to throw a bitchfit over that?

~Maggot

[Cloud]

is it just a coincidence that the theres only been one person(not saying who) say deep in the calender since i started this thread?

Laura please kindly shut it arguing before yo get this locked...

[Lily of the Valley]

is it just a coincidence that the theres only been one person(not saying who) say deep in the calender since i started this thread?Nah, people probably aren't so ready to appear to be attention-whoring now that the topic has actually been addressed. Although, it probably won't last too long, and then it'll go back to normal.

~Maggot

[XxHaViiK]

Laura? Really? Why do you just go around trolling people? Self harm is a serious problem, and talking about it is actually the first step to getting help. Please just quit insulting, it doesn't help at all.

[Tiberius]

Yes, Maggot, you do have a point there. People have a habbit of going back to their own vices when the attention brought to them shifts away. I don't think that much can be done to change what goes on in there but Calum does have a noble argument.

[Lily of the Valley]

Laura? Really? Why do you just go around trolling people? Self harm is a serious problem, and talking about it is actually the first step to getting help. Please just quit insulting, it doesn't help at all.In my opinion, self-harm isn't a serious problem. Other things that may go along with it can be - a serious need for attention, depression, mental instability, etc. - but cutting itself? No big deal. But, meh, that's just my opinion.Yes, Maggot, you do have a point there. People have a habbit of going back to their own vices when the attention brought to them shifts away. I don't think that much can be done to change what goes on in there but Calum does have a noble argument.Who's Callum? o_o

~Maggot

[Cloud]

Who's Callum? o_o


Calum is me

[The Batman]

In my opinion, self-harm isn't a serious problem. Other things that may go along with it can be - a serious need for attention, depression, mental instability, etc. - but cutting itself? No big deal. But, meh, that's just my opinion.

~Maggot

It's not cutting yourself that's the problem it's how deep you go, how frequent it is, and the reason behind doing it. Hurting yourself just puts you one stop closer to suicide. With each cut your just that closer to death unless you're a lying attention whore. I'll explain it more later on but right now I'm not really to focused on this thread.

[Lily of the Valley]

It's not cutting yourself that's the problem it's how deep you go, how frequent it is, and the reason behind doing it. Hurting yourself just puts you one stop closer to suicide. With each cut your just that closer to death unless you're a lying attention whore. I'll explain it more later on but right now I'm not really to focused on this thread.Not really. I cut for years and years and years, and it helped me avoid suicide. If I hadn't had that release and that method of coping, I bet I would have killed myself.Calum is meOh.

...

Hai.

~Maggot

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I agree, cutting isn't some sort of gateway to suicide, or a stop along the way. It's a way to cope, as much as we all know how destructive and unhealthy it is. Suicide isn't coping, it's ending things so that you won't have to cope. Cutting doesn't always happen before suicide, and it doesn't make a person more likely to commit suicide. The only connection between cutters and those who attempt to kill themselves, in my mind, is that they're both depressed.

Cutting is never intended to cause lethal damage. It's true that some people go deeper over time and thus it gets more dangerous, but suicide is intentional. Accidental death isn't the same as suicide, even if the cause of death was self-inflicted.

[NightFighter]

Ok, so are we going to take action now?
Seems like a lot of people want to change the thread in some way.
Maybe we could vote on how it should be changed?

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

The mods are actually doing some discussion about changing the thread, and so far we haven't made any decisions to take action.

In my personal opinion, the changes which have been proposed in this thread are largely just not feasible. As much as I am one of the people who don't enjoy reading post after post talking about how much people have cut themselves and how shitty they feel, and how that entire thread is just so depressing to go through... It does serve some purpose. If we limit posts to not include number of cuts or severity, and to just say, "I self-harmed today," we give off the impression that it's not okay to talk about it. I don't think we need to add any confusion over where it's ok to talk about things and where we have to be vague and avoid those things. This is meant to be a supportive community, and if kids feel like they can't even talk about the problems they need support on... what good are we really doing? For those of us who don't enjoy reading that thread, we can stay away from it.

I also stated above that I don't agree with the suggestion of merging self-harm and non-self-harm calendars because of the vast differences in purpose.

Now, my opinion isn't the only one that matters, and we do always welcome suggestions. This is my opinion on the matter, though, and I also just wanted to let you know that the moderators are aware of the complaints which have been voiced in this thread--we're not ignoring you guys.

[Darkness]

Maybe the person could give the number of figures the number of cuts was in, or just say if it was only a few or allot, and not say how deep it was, I think we should do what Katina said.

[Hyper]

To the previous, deleted, post(er) VT doesn't flaunt SH and you need to watch your tone

[GreyxRainbow]

How to define the deepness of cuts? I honestly don't know how to define that. I don't think I've ever done something serious, just shallow and one or two medium, in my opinion. But when I look at the ways other people define it, all I've done is shallow. That is fine to me. I won't go bragging about the dept of my cuts.

I have posted to the SH Calender, but only to keep track of it for me. I didn't want pity, and I never asked for that. Some people asked me what was wrong after I posted, and then I answered them as good as I could. I do think that some people exaggerate about the dept of their cuts, but I think less than 50 %. I also tried to encourage people to try to stop, as much as I could.

The NSH Calender has been - and is - really helpful for me. It not only helps me keep track of the amount of time, but it also gives me a good feeling when I can post there and I reached my goal. Then I can be proud of myself, and I'll try even harder after that. I admit that I did post things like 'I'm gonna give in/ I can't keep it up' etc, but I'm trying my best to keep it positive and encourage other people to keep it up. :)

[theOperaGhost]

I actually like the non-selfharm calendar....it's more encouraging than anything. I can't stand the self harm calendar though.

[Cloud]

Some people asked me what was wrong after I posted, and then I answered them as good as I could.

And thats fine because your not trying to bullshit everyone

but when people post stupid numbers of deep cuts then say they dont want to talk about it thats when the thread starts to piss everyone off and starts becoming useless.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Honestly, when I look in that thread. I feel a deep sense of hatred. Not because of the poeple but because it brings up everything thing that I've supressed for years. It's a very difficult thing to keep around, most people do self harm, while others are trying their best to quit. Its kind of like fuel to the fire.

[Cloud]

Honestly, when I look in that thread. I feel a deep sense of hatred. Not because of the poeple but because it brings up everything thing that I've supressed for years. It's a very difficult thing to keep around, most people do self harm, while others are trying their best to quit. Its kind of like fuel to the fire.

Yes but for those seeking help its a way of talking about what theyve done and makes it easier to tell others

when used properly that is

[Rutherford The Brave]

Yes but for those seeking help its a way of talking about what theyve done and makes it easier to tell others

when used properly that is

I know that, but I mean think about it. Its a log of self harm. Its sad, but you know I don't doubt its purpose.

[Cloud]

I know that, but I mean think about it. Its a log of self harm. Its sad, but you know I don't doubt its purpose.

I know that also haha i was just clarifying for anyone who was unaware of that who was going to agree with you and demand it gone

[Rutherford The Brave]

I know that also haha i was just clarifying for anyone who was unaware of that who was going to agree with you and demand it gone

Yeah >,> hahah I should of clarified that as well.