The Articles of Alliteration [Unfinished Song]

[Underground_Network]

Amazing how America amends the automatic alienation
Of denizens deserving rights that alleviate indignation,
But brutally and in bizarre, America will go so far
As bigotry and biracial beatdowns, didn't think we'd see shit like this so...
What is right and what is wrong? Lets establish the articles of alliteration,
I'm saying we should save the nation, with our articles of alliteration!

Amazing how a little admiration for an amorous individual
Can build their confidence like a ritual,
Build it up and like an ignominious isotope
Gain the materials that will let it grow,
That will let it grow,
That will let it grow...

Lets establish an effective economy,
Lets disestablish the direct dichotomy of discrete discrimination,
That's neutralizing our neurotic nation,
Lets tear down those who terrorize us terrifically and horrifically,
Lets build up walls against despotism, fight for rights for dimorphic citizens,
And let us give everyone a chance to take a stand against
The slaughter of the innocent, the individuals impromptu losing imagination
Through lack of knowing naught a lack of showing
Allowing for their smiles to glow and
Save this world from a world of woe and...
Havoc and hell and heroic letdowns,
For heaven's sake slowdown and shape up your shrewd nouns
So they sound at least loud enough to make us proud!




This isn't finished and it might not make much sense, but rather than forcing myself to finish it right now, I'm just going to post this here... 0.o

[nick]

OK, honest comment, its clever but in my opinion not up to your usual (very high) standard. Its almost trying too hard to be clever and to show off vocabulary etc. at the expense of its natural flow. Just my opinion of course, and its still pretty good.

[Origami]

I must agree Adam, your use of diction brought it down.
1. It's not pleasing to the eyes to see so many large words.
2. Most people won't read it due to the large vocab, it's rather difficult for some. Even with my diction I had to stop and think here and there.

While it shows cunning it steals from the general appeal of the song. Big words are nice, but only if incorporated correctly.
Too many and it ruins it.
Too few and you appear illiterate.

Overall it still has a wonderful meaning. (:

[Underground_Network]

Yeah, this is what happens when I get bored early in the morning lol.

I might edit it and make it better...

But more likely than not I'll just go write something else.

Lately I've been writing a lot of poetry rather than songs... I might post up some of my poems soon. If I decide to get them published I'll have to take them down though.