What he doesn't know.

[and_he_calls_me_lynn]

This is a bit of a long story. I met some one at church recently who was from a different church. I had been texting him a lot for a while, and we both liked eachother. He was planning on asking my dad for permission to date me. I had asked him if he was against women wearing pants instead of skirts/dresses- which is a common belief in both of our churches, and he said he was, because there was no such thing as "girl pants" because women's origional clothing was dresses. I thought about the flaws in that reasoning later, but offered to only wear skirts and dresses around him, because he offered not to eat meat around me.(I'm vegan.)

Later he asked if I wear make up.(We haven't seen eachother in person very much.) Make up is not considered acceptable to some people in our churches. I told him yes. He had earlier said that he thought girls didn't look well when they wear make up. He asked if I was wearing make up when I saw him, and when I said yes, He asked if that's why he thought I had been punched in the eye. I took it as a joke, but I don't know if it was.

Later he said he didn't think we could date because of our different religious convictions. I looked at the verses he got his beliefs from, and wasn't sure what to believe. Because I wasn't sure, I decided to not wear jeans or make up until I figured this out. He seemed happy about this, and started to flirt with me again. I've been looking at info about this, and am becoming confident in my original beliefs, but don't want him to not like me anymore when he finds out. He obviously will find out, because I'm not going to lie to him if he asks.

Psychology is an issue that I would have with this. He thinks depression is only caused by a spirit, and can only be prayed away rather than helped by medication. He doesn't know much about bipolar disorder, but I worry he'd think something similar if he learned about it. I have struggled a lot with bipolar disorder, and am taking several medications.

I just don't know when I need to tell him what, and how to tell him. Any advice would be very appreciated. Thanks.

[Lily of the Valley]

He sounds like a dick who's been completely brainwashed by overly religious parents. You shouldn't have to change or hide who you are because of his beliefs and his intolerance for your own. My boyfriend believes a guy should never, ever hit a woman, but I don't believe that. I believe in ghosts, but my boyfriend is adamant they don't exist. Our differences in opinion go on and on. But the basis of a healthy relationship is accepting differences of opinion and beliefs (within reason, of course). And if he's not willing to do that for you, then he's not worth it.

~Maggot

[MacMilker]

i by no means dont believe in god, but do you think god would care if you wore skirts, or makeup? do you think god would judge you because back in the day women only wore skirts and and dresses? try to stick with guys that are religious to a certain extent, no one who thinks that girls cant wear what they want, that they have to wear what they think god wants them to wear because that was how they dresses a LONGGG time ago :)

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

You know, men wore skirts/dresses too in most ancient civilizations, the style was just different than the clothing worn by women. If you look at the art left behind from those civilizations, you'll notice that no one is really depicted wearing pants. Even Jesus is never painted wearing pants. By this guy's logic, he should wear dresses and skirts, too, because pants didn't come along until later. It just happens that men wore them first, and they were adopted by women later on.

Don't change your beliefs just so you can get along with this guy. If he likes you, he shouldn't want to change you to conform to his church. After-all, you're not forcing him to become a vegan (I assume he offered not to eat meat around you of his own free will, not because you told him he should?), so he shouldn't force you to go with his beliefs either. You are who you are and he needs to respect that. If he can't do that, he's not the right guy.

Anyone who immediately tells you what you can and cannot do is sending up a red flag. You're not even dating this guy yet, you haven't known each other very long or seen each other in person much, and he's already telling you, "You looked like you had a black eye with all that make-up on," "You shouldn't wear pants." I can understand maybe wearing a skirt and no make-up around his parents if the family is so traditional, but I don't agree with him trying to change the way you dress in general just because it suits him better.

[Sage]

Think for yourself. Don't let him or any church think for you. That's all I'd like to add.

[and_he_calls_me_lynn]

Thank you all very much.
Kaleidoscope eyes- You're right. I didn't tell him he couldn't eat meat around me. He offered to to be nice.

I think he was about to ask me out, so I told him about my opinion on the whole skirt/dress thing aand about make up. He said he still likes me, but he seemed to think that wouldn't let things work for us, so I guess we're just going to be friends.