Experimenting.

[hiker1992]

Has anyone ever had a friendship lost, or ruined over some kind of 'experimenting'? I've more or less had one altered, given we're still friends but have an incredibly awkward air between us. Just wanted to know if anyone else has shared this unfortunate experience, and what they've done to reconcile it?

[laurita_21]

i hav :(
i was friends with this guy and we both really liked eachother, so we tried it out,
but it didnt relly work, and now we dont even talk to wachova anymore :(

[ChosenOne]

I personally haven't but I'd recommend you two have a talk about it. Just let each other know how you're feeling, get if off your chest and try and get rid of the "awkward air". That's the kind of risk you take when "experimenting" though.
I'm not speaking from experience but I know that it can either ruin friendships or make them stronger. Once you've both got things off your chest then you never know, it might make it stronger but if you don't talk about it and just try and ignore it then you'll most likely just drift apart.

[hiker1992]

Yea, we've talked about it, but taken a very casual approach. We both have an understanding that it shouldn't happen very often, and given the fact that he has a girlfriend, should probably not happen at all anymore. I don't really see 'drifting apart' as an option, given we do have a majority of the same friends, but there's definitely some kind of tension.

[hiker1992]

i hav
i was friends with this guy and we both really liked eachother, so we tried it out,
but it didnt relly work, and now we dont even talk to wachova anymore

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out, it always sucks when things like that have such a huge impact on a friendship. Have you tried talking to him since? I'd consider it if you really valued the friendship.

[crazycoller]

havent had it happen but open communication solves alot of problems

[luvthissite]

i had this happen to me. best friend and i fooled around for a year or more, almost every day. eventually, he ended up realizing what (HE THOUGHT) he was doing was wrong, for his own situation. one day, i went over to his house after school, and went to his room, and he was laying in his bed with the lights off, obviously in deep thought. i tried to joke around, but he was very serious, kind of a different person. he was obviously in deep thought about what we had been doing, but he was not verbally expressing this to me.

what ended up happening is that he decided to no longer be friends. he did not really verbalize this to me, just stopped calling me and hanging out with me. fortunately, at the time, I had another best friend to fall to, and so the event did not really impact me (at the time), had I not had the other best friend, i probably would have been devastated. i hated to lose my best friend, and was really upset for a while, because i had become really close to this friend. we did everything together, hung out, played around, and slept in the same bed a lot of times. i still think of him with good thoughts and realize that some friends don't last forever, and i think of the good times we had, and do not regret anything.

my advice,
things happen for a reason, and some friendships come and go, this is life. as much as possible, try and have at last a small circle of friends, rather than just one friend. if you only have 1 or 2 friends, utitlize these friends to make more friends. you can never have too many friends. best of luck to you.

[hiker1992]

i had this happen to me. best friend and i fooled around for a year or more, almost every day. eventually, he ended up realizing what (HE THOUGHT) he was doing was wrong, for his own situation. one day, i went over to his house after school, and went to his room, and he was laying in his bed with the lights off, obviously in deep thought. i tried to joke around, but he was very serious, kind of a different person. he was obviously in deep thought about what we had been doing, but he was not verbally expressing this to me.

what ended up happening is that he decided to no longer be friends. he did not really verbalize this to me, just stopped calling me and hanging out with me. fortunately, at the time, I had another best friend to fall to, and so the event did not really impact me (at the time), had I not had the other best friend, i probably would have been devastated. i hated to lose my best friend, and was really upset for a while, because i had become really close to this friend. we did everything together, hung out, played around, and slept in the same bed a lot of times. i still think of him with good thoughts and realize that some friends don't last forever, and i think of the good times we had, and do not regret anything.

my advice,
things happen for a reason, and some friendships come and go, this is life. as much as possible, try and have at last a small circle of friends, rather than just one friend. if you only have 1 or 2 friends, utitlize these friends to make more friends. you can never have too many friends. best of luck to you.

Wow, that's actually a pretty harsh story, I'm sorry something so bad ended up between you guys. :( You're right though, I suppose. We're still friends, and we weren't close enough that who I hang out with has changed, and it's not as though we've changed a substantial amount either, but still. It's good to know these kinds of things, so thanks.

[hiker1992]

havent had it happen but open communication solves alot of problems

You're right, I think it would too. But the unfortunate thing is, bringing it back up again may cause things to get worse. Due to his religion, and current public sexuality of being straight, for him to call those kinds of feelings back up, would only hurt him I think. Basically, he's a closeted gay, who's not being true to himself because of the restrictions put on him by religion. It's really sad, actually, but I guess he's finding a way to cope (which, as I've said, is to forget about it)

That, and I'm not open about my sexuality either. One of the ways he justified it was that "everyone experiments around this age" and it's "normal" and all this other stuff that seemed as though he was trying to reassure himself moreso than me.

[myskias]

one thing iv learned is.. its only awkward if you make it awkward. you have the choice to make it awkward or not. so make the choice!

[greg95]

Has anyone ever had a friendship lost, or ruined over some kind of 'experimenting'? I've more or less had one altered, given we're still friends but have an incredibly awkward air between us. Just wanted to know if anyone else has shared this unfortunate experience, and what they've done to reconcile it?
no, me its rather the opposite :)

we have become closer friends since we did it the first time :yummy:

[laurita_21]

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out, it always sucks when things like that have such a huge impact on a friendship. Have you tried talking to him since? I'd consider it if you really valued the friendship.

ive tried but its just a few words before he leaves :( i still like him alot so its really hard for me :(

[hiker1992]

one thing iv learned is.. its only awkward if you make it awkward. you have the choice to make it awkward or not. so make the choice!

Um, that's not necessarily true. I've tried a number of times to make things a little less tense between us, from talking about it to ignoring it, and I'm sure he still feels a little bit of guilt and as a result things are awkward. I've done all I can, I'm thinking.

[Alexthemightycricket]

yes me and my boyfriend decided to experiment once and we found that we both liked each other very much. the friendship didn't end but it blossomed into so much more and we love each other.

[alphabeta]

I agree with some of the posts above. I have also experimented with a friend and the friendship turned REALLY awkward after. We used to talk a lot and now we don't even say hi at school anymore. I say that you both should take the time to talk over on what had happened and agree if you feel comfortable to do anything again or even become friends again.

Also, before experimenting, consider friendships before you do anything because you might really regret it after. A lost or broken friendship is not worth over some curiosity between people.

[anime Freak]

i have not experimented, i have seen his yes, i have jacked off in the same room yes, but neither of us have touched he other one. and to be honest we are a lot more open now than before

[hiker1992]

i have not experimented, i have seen his yes, i have jacked off in the same room yes, but neither of us have touched he other one. and to be honest we are a lot more open now than before

For me, (and this may be kind of weird) it seems like it'd almost be more awkward to just watch someone else masturbate while you are as well. I mean, the lust is obviously still there, but to not act on it just seems to put an added tension on yourself and your friend in question. Still, it's cool that you guys were able to open up more, it does sound like one of those things you guys could later joke about or something, and not feel weirded out by.

[aquaman246]

Nah, i did once with a friend, and were still really gud friends, weve done it again a couple of times, but its simply curiosity, nothing more. If he took it further id probably turn him down because if it didnt work out wed prbably stop being friends.

[lengthy_brochure]

Well, like a year ago I showed my friend how to jack off...
And afterwards our friendship became kinda awkward. We still talk, but its just wierd.

[greg95]

For me, (and this may be kind of weird) it seems like it'd almost be more awkward to just watch someone else masturbate while you are as well. I mean, the lust is obviously still there, but to not act on it just seems to put an added tension on yourself and your friend in question.

ha ha, watching a friend j/o would be like actually watching porn :D

which means immediate boner and ensuing j/o :D

[hiker1992]

Yea, I suppose it is, but still. Just watching someone else? Seems kinda weird.

[ahmann7]

never lost a friend but have done it

[cota28]

u really need to know the friend first. the first friend i j/o with approached me and we were awkward for a few hours until we got hard again. i then asked another friend a couple months later after we had talked about doing for weeks and telling him i had done it before seemed to help him.

[BigBulge]

no but I know people who have experienced this

[Giles]

I have lost a friend, but luckily he moved schools 3-4 days later.
Also, I'm currently trying to sort out a rather awkward situation with one of my oldest friends.