i just can't

[Gumleaf]

i just can't take this much longer. that feeling, of being totally alone, but at the same time being surrounded by people who care. feeling totally hurt and shattered, but for no particular reason. the feeling of crying full on for ages, but not really knowing why. for the last 3 days its been like this. i feel like such a burden, so useless and sometimes i'm thinking of how the world would be better off if i didn't exist. my girlfriend is really worried about me again, and i absolutely hate putting her through this and think how she would be so much better off without me. i can't see a way out, everything seems so negative, i'm lost. i see my therapist on tuesday, i don't know if i can last til then. i hate this, i hate everything and i hate myself most.

[Triceratops]

Stephen, for what it's worth, remember we are always going to be here for you.

You are not a burden.
You are not useless.
And the world would most certainly not be better without you.

Joanne loves and needs you, her life would be full of the imaginable without you.
There is always a way out, no matter how long it's going to take to find it.
Trust me on that one.

We all understand how this feels because we have all been through this ourselves.

I'm here for you hun. :hug:

[OnlyByTheNight.]

Ste. I just want to tell you that if anything ever happened to you I would cry for ages. And I've only know you for a few months!!! Imagine the hurt it would cause your family and friends and especially Joanne.
You are not a burden. You are loved. Just cause you can't feel that right now doesn't mean its not true.
I'm here for you Stephen. :hug3:

[Cloud]

i feel like such a burden,
As ive said before
bullshirt
so useless and sometimes
everyone has times of feeling useless
just find something to do to show how useful and amazing you actually are
i'm thinking of how the world would be better off if i didn't exist.
Short answer: boring and shite

my girlfriend is really worried about me again, and i absolutely hate putting her through this and think how she would be so much better off without me.
shes worried because she loves you
she loves you becasuse you are stephen
and her sticking with you through the downs shows it
now dont think for one second that she will be better off without yo stephen because we all know that that is a steaming pile of bullshit

i can't see a way out, everything seems so negative, i'm lost. i see my therapist on tuesday, i don't know if i can last til then. i hate this, i hate everything and i hate myself most.
there is a way out
theres always a way out you just have to think possitively as best as possible
find the good things in the negativity and focus on them

[Bougainvillea]

Stephen...
I may not be able to respond to you through friendship, or connect through a relationship.

But I know you're a great person. You're almost always the best way to get help, and a terrific staff member. You put a smile on someone's face who hasn't smiled in years. And if anything, you've been beneficial to the lives of others. So, don't label yourself as a burden.
:)

[Gumleaf]

i'm my own bloody worst enemy. not a good day at all, so bad in fact that i cried at school and went into a mini meltdown ending up sitting on the floor in a room and just looking at the wall while crying. i feel so f**ked up, and then just to make things worse, about a dozen people came into the room and caught me like that. now everyone is going to know about me. they might not know the real problem, but they are all going to know that i'm far from normal. i'm so stupid, why why why did this have to happen? as if i'm not screwed up enough, this is going to make things so much worse. i'm not going to be able to face school on monday. i hate this, i hate it all and its all my own bloody fault!

[BlackenedSilver]

:hug3: Stephen that was not your fault. You couldn't have stopped the crying, because if you could have you would have. And you couldn't have stopped the people walking in. Whatever's happening to you is making you feel like it's all your fault. Talking to your therapist is probably the best bet to figure out why you are feeling so bad.
You're an amazing person, try and believe that.. Many many people would be lost without you.
Hope you're ok :hug3: <3

[OnlyByTheNight.]

Many many people would be lost without you.
QFT!!!

[Cinderandsmoke]

I know exactly what you feel like. Luckily i have therapy and medication to help. My therapist really makes me feel guilty about my feelings.

[Gumleaf]

grrrrr. i keep trying hard, i try to help myself yet i just can't stop feeling worse. i feel so isolated right now, like i'm totally alone. i'm just sick of everything. i'm sick of the crying, i'm sick of feeling worthless, i'm sick of feeling like i'm unloved when i am loved. but in saying that, i shouldn't be loved by anyone anyways. i can't understand why my girlfriend would love me. i feel like i'm holding her back when she could do so much better. right now i feel like i offer a grand total of nothing to the world. i shouldn't even be here anymore!

[OnlyByTheNight.]

STEPHEN! You need to stop thinking like this! None of what you said there is true. You may be home alone but trust me dude, you are anything but alone. There are so many people that love you, that want to see you happy, you just need to convince yourself of that!
I know thats easier said then done but still, if somethings worth having its also worth fighting for, yes? :hug:

[Gumleaf]

life just isn't worth living anymore! i don't know how long i can live with this for? i've had enough of it. the people who do care don't deserve to put up with this crap i serve up. i feel so bad and guilty. this is just getting too stupid now, i'm too stupid. :cry:

[BuryYourFlame]

Stephen, you need to listen to me mate...we love you, and there is nothing you can do about it. A lot of us have been in the same position of you, saying the same things about ourselves, this doesn't make us any less human mate, and neither should it make you. We want to help you, and that won't be changed by these down times.

And now, for a tasty tasty hug :hug:

[clone]

stephen i havnt been a member long but ive seen so many people you have helped is that being worthless?
if you hurt yourself it would cause others to do so possibly including me :frown:
dont harm yourself were here for you
:hug: