I don't know anymore.

[Discomposure]

I don't know what this is, or what to do about it.

To start off, yes I hate myself. I can't see anything nice about me, especially my body image.

For a little while now, I've been starving my self all day then eating something about an hour after getting in from school, only little, but still something and then nothing until the next day after school. I've passed out about 3 times due to this but managed to blame it on other things at the time.
The only person that has mentioned anything is a friend of mine, she noticed I don't eat dinner, or anything at break, but she hasn't said much so it doesn't bother me.

Over the course of about 50 days, I've lost 1stone and 3pounds. It's made me feel so much better about myself loosing it, and I want to loose more.

I don't want to tell anybody what i'm doing not at all. I already go to a psychologist about my self-harming, I wouldn't want them to think that I'm doing this for a bit of attention or anything, I just want to loose weight, that is TRULY all. Then I'll stop.

Although i've said all that about how it's made me feel better, I do know it's not the right way to do things, but I'm almost positive it's not an eating disorder as I think I'd be able to eat if I had to. I just don't want to, no matter how much my stomach rumbles and hurts, I don't want to.

By the way, can anyone tell me what being anemic is? I have googled it, but I just wondered if anybody could tell me what it is in a way I could understand it a little easier,

Thanks..

[Lost and Confused1]

Hi Amy,

Doing this to yourself is causing more harm then good. At the time it may seem like the best way to approach weight loss, but really it isn't. I know you say you just want to lose some weight then you will start eating again. Unfortunately it's not that easy. I'm trying to recover from my eating disorder, but as of right now, my body is rejecting all food. The only thing I have been able to eat is soup.. and trust me, I want to eat more then that right now.

When you do start to eat again, your body will hold onto that food/fat because it then doesn't know when it will be able to eat again. The best way to lose weight is to be active, and also to maintain a healthy diet. Which you should consider talking to your doctor to find out how many calories you should be eating etc.

Remember the more meals you eat, the faster your metabolism becomes.

If you have anymore questions, or just want to chat, feel free to PM me hun, stay strong!

Brittany

P.S anemia means a decrease in the amount of red blood cells I believe.

[Triceratops]

If you don't stop now it's only going to get a hell of a fucking lot worse. Truth be told.

I know how powerful eating disorders can be and how strongly they can take over, but you desperately need to seek help from anyone you can get before it's too late. In other words, seize this opportunity you have to tell your psychologist and confide in them. They are not here to judge you, they are to help and support you.

When it's too late, it's going to be one hell of a long, hard and nightmare journey getting back on track.

I honestly don't think many members here actually understand how much an eating disorder can fuck with your mind more than with your weight. In my perspective, an eating disorder is doing more severe harm to you psychologically (yes, with physical damage on the side too). If this wasn't the case, this part of the forum wouldn't be under the Psychiatric Ward. Keeping a healthy weight and diet is all important but starting the process of recovering mentally is the first vital thing you really need to do. Worrying and fretting about eating patterns is doing you no favours, as well as stressing over your weight in general.

By the way, Anemia is a (very common) blood disorder whereas there is a lower red blood cell count than what's average.

[Amyxoxo]

Agreeed with everyone!
I wouldnt even go there, it feels good now but think how will it feel like when you are in hospital you cant do anything, you will have to eat through a tube and be foced fed. Why would you do that to yourself?
Please tell your councler, she will understand and help you. She knows you, she wont think that it is for attention. It is good your friend is worried but mabie you can tell her? she may be able to hammer it home if no one else can.
All the best, go careful!
Amy xx