Help!

[Alfred Pennyworth]

I don't know what I'm gonna do. I hide my pain behind a mask of intelligence and happiness. All of my fears and all of my pains I have been hiding away inside of me for as long as I can remember. My sister has bipolar and some other emotional problems, and since I am home schooled I am nearly always there when she blows up, and I have experienced her anger so many times. I hate her so much that words cannot describe. I am sure that I am ADD even though people have told me that I am not. Therefore I am behind on school because I can't focus on what I am doing no matter how hard I try, and my mom is constantly getting frustrated with me because I am behind. I just CAN'T talk to my sister, and I don't have any friends that I can talk to. My anger with myself and everyone I know is building with every day, with every time I fail. I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I feel like with every time that I fail myself, I slip farther and farther, and the pain just grows and grows. I have to do something, or I feel that I will slip over the edge. I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go. I just want it all to go away! Somebody help me! anybody....

[NightFighter]

Right, you need to know that its ok to feel negative emotions. Its natural. No person is constantly happy. Maybe you could talk to a therapist about this. Im not sure about the rules in America but if you are 16+ then i dont think your mum will have to know about it but you'll have to check this.

You need to get out of the house. You could go to your local gym and get some exercise. Here you can try to make a few friends. You could try to find a youth club. If you become fitter then your school work will improve. I really think you need to take action and try to get outside and away from your family. Maybe then your relationships will improve.

As for your poor studying. Go to a library. It will be peaceful, no distractions and you might meet other people your own age. To improve on your revision it helps to completely relax yourself before hand. Buy some relaxation tapes and concentrate on your breathing for about 10 minutes. After that you will be able to revise more effectively.

Inorder to improve your life you have to be willing to make it happen. Try out my suggestions. What have you got to lose? Just try to change. Do it for yourself.

[Alfred Pennyworth]

I wish I could see a therapist without my parents knowing but there aren't any teen centers anywhere near where I live, and I don't have my driver's license yet, so I am completely dependent on my parents for transportation. That and my parents are the snooping type, so even if I could find and get to one, they would figure it out fairly quickly. I've been trying to stick to a workout routine that I've created. Also, my sis is being gone on the weekends with her BF, so I'm seeing less of her, so that's good. Anyway, thanks for the advice!