Having an Issue with Mom+Wanting Independence

[Rainstorm]

So, my mom is real strict with me, and doesn't give me any more independence than I would if I was 9. I can't be out past 7 in the summers, I have to stay with her in the mall, even with my phone with me, can't go to movies with friends unless an adults there, can't date, can't do any of that.

It's really annoying, because when my friends invite me to the mall to see a movie, or hang out, she keeps saying, "I don't care. You're staying here." And it's starting to get me angry with her, because I'm 14, and she still can't trust me enough to do some of these things.

I've brought it up so many times, that I've lost count, and she keep giving me the same answer,

"You're to young to do those. Go study." or something similar, brushing it off. She always seems to favor my sister, because she lets my sister do practically do anything she wants, with no consequences.

Also, my sister is 11.

My Dad tries to get my Mom to give me more independence, but then she just gets pissed off at him, saying I don't do anything to deserve it.

That ends up getting me pissed off, because I do practically everything in this house. Clean, do dishes, bring garbage out, feed our cat, while my sister sits on the couch and watchs TV.

Any advice to help get my mom to let my mom have Some Independence?

[Sage]

Do all the things she asks you to do before you do them. Be your own work horse. Crack that whip over your back and do productive things every day. Will it be a pain in the ass for you? Yes. But it'll impress her.

Direct contradiction, though brave, is not always the smartest way to go. Think of it this way. "You want me to work? I'll show you work."

Freedom isn't free. Go earn it.

[theOperaGhost]

Tim is correct.

In this case, I think your mom is a bit over-protective. It's not that she doesn't trust you, it's that she is possibly a little paranoid about what goes on out in the world. Let me ask you this...are you the oldest child in your family? If so, you're parents have never had a 14 year old. They are still learning how to be parents and if you are their first child, parents (especially mothers) will be over-protective.

I do think she needs to let go of you a little bit and realize that you are growing up and should be allowed a little bit more independence. But you also need to realize that she is just being your mother...loving and protective.

[enzenzz]

Ask your mom what you can do to deserve some independence. It seems like she is overprotective of you but not your sister. Did you do something in the past that really had her worried?

But judging from what your saying you seem like a good kid and doesn't need parental guidance.

[diamond jetstream]

maybe barter with her say to her mum ill do the dishes etc etc but only if you let me have time with my friends

[Sage]

maybe barter with her say to her mum ill do the dishes etc etc but only if you let me have time with my friends

That's just going to make him look whiney and cause more problems, seeing as that's a very childish thing to do.