nachtspiegel
October 10th, 2009, 11:36 PM
The shadow shows me everything
The noises I hear do not decieve me
Those sweet words upon my ears
They speak no lies to me.
The mirror fixed upon the wall
Shows me an image
Is that my reflection - or someone else's?
I cannot tell where I end
And everything else begins.
I see faces that are alike to my own
Fears that pierce the soul
Yet they are different
They are beautiful
And I am none the wiser.
I do not know what this mystery is
But yet, I see, it has happened again.
I see you've returned to visit
I tremble at the thought
I know that it worsens every time
I'm slowly ripped apart.
My eyes are locked on everything
I cannot shake this off
I am as fixed as an addict
I simply cannot stop.
I know of the evil
And all that you do
Yet something deep inside me
Drags me back to you
I wish that you would leave me be
But I know that you never will
Until next time, old friend of mine
I'll say I wish you well.
Although you send me on a ride
I cannot turn away
I'll breathe for five more minutes
Until another day.
This piece is in two parts to describe two different sides of me: the one that knows what I'm dealing with and the one that is still trying to understand it. This piece, if you will, describes a phenomena that I wish I didn't know so well... hallucinations and extreme paranoia. In strong waves that hit me at what seems to be the worst possible moments, I fear walking around my own house, I'm afraid that behind every corner, someone is waiting to kill me. At times, I know what I'm dealing with, and other times, I'm trying to figure it out. This came out recently during an "in between" period. I know that 'normal' is a relative term, but this isn't 'normal' in any sense of the word. I wish I was. This 'old friend' has visited me repeatedly throughout my lifetime. I wish I could break the ties.
The noises I hear do not decieve me
Those sweet words upon my ears
They speak no lies to me.
The mirror fixed upon the wall
Shows me an image
Is that my reflection - or someone else's?
I cannot tell where I end
And everything else begins.
I see faces that are alike to my own
Fears that pierce the soul
Yet they are different
They are beautiful
And I am none the wiser.
I do not know what this mystery is
But yet, I see, it has happened again.
I see you've returned to visit
I tremble at the thought
I know that it worsens every time
I'm slowly ripped apart.
My eyes are locked on everything
I cannot shake this off
I am as fixed as an addict
I simply cannot stop.
I know of the evil
And all that you do
Yet something deep inside me
Drags me back to you
I wish that you would leave me be
But I know that you never will
Until next time, old friend of mine
I'll say I wish you well.
Although you send me on a ride
I cannot turn away
I'll breathe for five more minutes
Until another day.
This piece is in two parts to describe two different sides of me: the one that knows what I'm dealing with and the one that is still trying to understand it. This piece, if you will, describes a phenomena that I wish I didn't know so well... hallucinations and extreme paranoia. In strong waves that hit me at what seems to be the worst possible moments, I fear walking around my own house, I'm afraid that behind every corner, someone is waiting to kill me. At times, I know what I'm dealing with, and other times, I'm trying to figure it out. This came out recently during an "in between" period. I know that 'normal' is a relative term, but this isn't 'normal' in any sense of the word. I wish I was. This 'old friend' has visited me repeatedly throughout my lifetime. I wish I could break the ties.