My first cuts...

[Akkryls]

A little background as I am brand new to the forums... And to the whole idea of self harming...

I have good parents; we're pretty well off and I can practically have near enough what I want; I got good grades in GCSE and am currently in college working my way through the first year of my AS.
My parents love me and have never once abused me in any way.

And yet... Tonight I took a razor blade and took it to my arm.
I have no real reason for doing this. I have good friends and a good family. But lately I've been feeling depressed for reasons that are stupid or due to me being an idiot somewhat...
Such as this one girl who I have a crush on in my English class, but I don't have the guts to walk up and talk to her... This and how I'm finding it hard to talk to new people and make friends with them... Its making me depressed.

Over the past week or two I've become more and more depressed, until tonight where I could barely stand it... I just wanted out, some way, or some how.
I turned to taking a razor blade to my arm.

I am now the "Proud" owner of a long cut down my left arm. Nothing too deep... I just felt the need to do... something...
I doubt I could ever push myself to the stage where I would actually slit my own wrists... But lately; I just want out.

So... Any advice either way? On either managing my cuts as a release or perhaps advice on how to find something other than harming myself...

Please help...
:help:

[Cloud]

okay self harms a bitch
its like a vice
each cut it gets tighter and tighter
you get more addicted and it makes it so much harder to stop
since your new to it
i strongly suggest you stop while you still can

a reason you could be getting depressed so easily is that you actually may suffer from depresion in which case i suggest you see someone about it and get it checked as then they will be able to prescribe something/work with you to combat it.

this suggest self harm alternatives if you read down the page (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16&a=52)

best of luck in stopping

[OnlyByTheNight.]

^basically calum said it all there.

I would most definately suggest you stop cutting now before it takes a hold of you.... If it does go that far it will ruin your life.

As for the depressed feelings you are getting I suggest you go see your doctor and they can help you go whatever way they see fit- either by therapy or by medication.

[Akkryls]

Well... I've sort of developed somewhat...

I haven't cut myself since the other night, and would rather not cut myself again... The line (scar?) left by it is rather apparent... And its not a controllable pain either; it just stings like a bitch all night.

Instead I've taken to just beating these feelings out on a wall or some other inanimate object. It hurts; yes, thats the point. But its not as harmful as cutting myself...

I'm also going to get counselling about this depression, since it really has hit me hard.
It's turned nearly every day into a vicious circle.
I'm depressed. I feel like I'm lower than people because of this depression. Because of this I can't talk to the girl I have a crush on. This causes me to be depressed.

For the time being, this slightly less malign self-harm is letting some of my anger and stress out whilst not becoming too serious... Or hopefully not anyway...

Just consider this as a step towards the right way.
It's kept me happy today (Strangely enough; does this happen to anyone else with SH?) by just thumping something hard enough to hurt my knuckles whenever I start feeling down again.
Hopefully when I finally get over my depression enough to do something about girls, or my life in general, I can kick the habit entirely...

I'd like to thank you folks here around the forums, reading some of the topics and help you guys have given... I'm glad I didn't start anything serious; I don't think I would have managed to get out of that hole once I was in it...

[Cloud]

Well done for not getting roped into the cutting
but the thumping is still classed as self harm
so jsut make sure it doesnt escalate
and still try to find other alternatives to that

oh and the line i doubt it will have scarred in like 2 days so it will probably be the cut still healing which is why it is stinging

and about keeping happy from punching the wall
its basicaly the endorphins rush brought by the pain
its the same thing the body got when you cut
its another alternative to cutting that still gives the same internal results bt without as much damage
although it isnt the best alternative as it can still cause damage to your hands

[PaperFacesOnParade]

Well done! Acknowledging this is the first step... Cloud has really said everything that needs to be said, but good luck!

[nick]

It sounds as if you're being honest with yourself about the depression and about the need to get counselling. That's great because thats the best way forward for you really. Good luck with it.

[sarah newman]

Yes, im going through this. Mum wants to take me to the doctor as she thinks i suffer from depression, i self harm, it feels good at the time, even though its a bad thing to do, it feels good. BUT as you've only just started, i would stop if i were you. My cuts go all up both forearms-maybe a bit higher. But it's hopefully getting sorted as my tutor teacher knows about it. I always stay in my room all day, which apparently makes me even more depressed according to my mum. I also may have an eating disorder, not quite sure yet. Dont worry, your not the only one. Its good your getting help, good luck with it. Everything will be fine!