..addicted

[violentcupcake]

I can't stop no matter how hard I try. I've been clean for awhile..but I can't stop thinking about it. I almost did it-last night. I was mad, frustrated and upset with myself, I grabbed my blade from my drawer... and then I stopped. Then again today, I just need to let things out.. I want to do this so badly.. no one is around to talk to me.. I can't trust anyone.. I'm upset and vunerable.. I need a way out.. and it sucks cuz theres multiple bottles of pills just laying around.. theres booze downstairs..and blades next to my bed.. I got a peircing to maybe take my thoughts away from wanting to..but the pain of that is gone.. im about ready to do something wrong.. ive been clean...but im addicted..

someone...



anyone...


help me..

[NightFighter]

Heya violentcupcake =] I see you're new to VT so Welcome!

First of all - Do Not Swallow The Pills And Alcohol!
At times we all feel like this. You have done extremely well for resisting the urge for so long! I know how hard it is. You need to keep resisting though! Dont let all your strength go to waste. Once you give in then it just gets harder and harder to resist the next time. You can do it. You need to let your feelings out in a safe way. If writing helps then write whatever flows out of your head. Cry. Punch a pillow. Do something you love. Just stay safe. Be stronger than the story.

You can pm basically anyone on these forums who would be happy to help. Theres some amazing people here!

[Amyxoxo]

Honey, everyone that cut will have these thoughts they are normal. Like nightfighter said, DONT TAKE THE PILLS AND ALCOHOL. it wont get you anywhere! Also when ever you have the urge think to yourself, why am i doing this, will it actually benifit me the scars will be there forever remember.
PM anyone when you have the urges as well :)
x gd luck x
Well done for being clean for so long as well :D x

[clone]

try throwing away the blades (or ask a close friend to hide them) but the main problem i see is the pills and alcohal try putting that stuff up gl with your problem

[Shenron]

Well, I know what you are going through and I a proud of you for resisting for so long. Honestly, we all feel like this, and as you know, cutting is an addiction that keeps coming back. The longer you stay clean the better. And DO NOT take the pills or drink the alcohol, that will not solve your problems. You have so much to live for, please don't throw it all away.

[ErykaInspire.]

Resistance is the hardest obstacle to accomplish.
Cutting is veryy addicting, I did it for a little over three years now. And i'm proud to say it.
It made me who I am, who I always will be.
I havn't cut since the 4th of July.

I know how hard it is to resist the urges, but you just have to keep your head up.
It DOES get easier.
Find other ways to vent out your anger/frustration/depression or any other overwhelming feelings you might be experiencing.
Snapping rubber bands, writing it all down then ripping and throwing it away, going for a long walk/run, or put all your blades in a cabinet and take a long hot bubble bath to relax.
Overdosing on pills isn't the right way to handle things.
It causes major body problems and depending on what you overdosed on, you could become immune to that pill.
I overdosed on Aleve/Asprin (and Oxycodine/several other pills.), now I get severe headaches that make me go unconscious. I'm immune to asprin so there's nothing that I can take to help.
Alcohol is only a temporary escape that makes you act like a fool. Stay away from it.

Trust me, it IS possible to stay cut-free. But it isn't easy. You have to say to yourself "I want to stop cutting. I WILL stop cutting." Over and over again.
Life has its moments where it may seem unbearable, but it'll get easier.
I'm here if you need to PM me, and I'm hoping that you do.
I'm here for you<3

Best of luck, hun!!