2D
October 7th, 2009, 12:36 AM
"Love"
What is love? First off let me say love is not a thing. It is not a noun. It is a verb. You cannot "fall" in love. You cannot be "in" love. You must love someone. You have to show it through your actions. What you can do is convince yourself that you are in love when really you are only trapped, in a cycle of break-ups and make-ups. This I know from personal experience. I met this girl that was my only focus of a whole year of my life at the end of October 2008. She was amazing, I stopped smoking, I stopped going to parties and getting drunk, and I was overall changing into a better person. I thought I was "in love" with the "girl of my dreams". We went 2 months before our first break-up. Then, only a few months to our second break-up, and so on for a total of five times. I was digging myself deeper into a world of pain each time I got back together with her, although I didn't know it myself. I steadily began to realize what I was doing to myself and to her; I was in a repetitive cycle of break-ups, make-ups, make-outs, and break-ups: interspersed with false hope and fake passion. As I was digging myself deeper into this pit I began to avoid contact with her; whether consciously or sub-consciously I didn't show up when we were supposed to meet at the mall one day. I was out with friends and did not remember anything about meeting her. That's when break-up cycle began. In a hope to fix this shattered relationship with "my love" I apologized and backpedal faster than ever before, thus the false hope portion of the cycle. She accepted my idiotic groveling and we were doing okay. We met at the movies some time later and almost as soon as the light went out she pounced on me like a lioness on a fresh kill. For better or for worse I stopped and gently pushed her off after only sustaining minor scratches and bites. I tried to explain to her that it's not all about kissing and physical attraction. I guess that was me trying to push her away from me and climb out of this hole. We watched the movie and she left to go home right away; later that night I broke up with her. I shed no tears, felt no guilt, and slept soundly for the first time since I could remember.
It was over; I was finally free from the ugly grasp of "love". I could be who I wanted to be, do what I wanted to do, and not worry whether or not "my lover" would get mad. It was a strange feeling; the feeling of freedom. One of happiness and joy yet filled with sadness and loneliness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that love isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's not that warm and fuzzy feeling, it's not the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see that "special someone". It's different for everyone. Call me a cynic; but love is a lie.
Comments, criticism, and grammatical corrections are welcome. I'm writing this for my English 1101 class and it's due tomorrow, so if you have something to say; say it soon. XD
What is love? First off let me say love is not a thing. It is not a noun. It is a verb. You cannot "fall" in love. You cannot be "in" love. You must love someone. You have to show it through your actions. What you can do is convince yourself that you are in love when really you are only trapped, in a cycle of break-ups and make-ups. This I know from personal experience. I met this girl that was my only focus of a whole year of my life at the end of October 2008. She was amazing, I stopped smoking, I stopped going to parties and getting drunk, and I was overall changing into a better person. I thought I was "in love" with the "girl of my dreams". We went 2 months before our first break-up. Then, only a few months to our second break-up, and so on for a total of five times. I was digging myself deeper into a world of pain each time I got back together with her, although I didn't know it myself. I steadily began to realize what I was doing to myself and to her; I was in a repetitive cycle of break-ups, make-ups, make-outs, and break-ups: interspersed with false hope and fake passion. As I was digging myself deeper into this pit I began to avoid contact with her; whether consciously or sub-consciously I didn't show up when we were supposed to meet at the mall one day. I was out with friends and did not remember anything about meeting her. That's when break-up cycle began. In a hope to fix this shattered relationship with "my love" I apologized and backpedal faster than ever before, thus the false hope portion of the cycle. She accepted my idiotic groveling and we were doing okay. We met at the movies some time later and almost as soon as the light went out she pounced on me like a lioness on a fresh kill. For better or for worse I stopped and gently pushed her off after only sustaining minor scratches and bites. I tried to explain to her that it's not all about kissing and physical attraction. I guess that was me trying to push her away from me and climb out of this hole. We watched the movie and she left to go home right away; later that night I broke up with her. I shed no tears, felt no guilt, and slept soundly for the first time since I could remember.
It was over; I was finally free from the ugly grasp of "love". I could be who I wanted to be, do what I wanted to do, and not worry whether or not "my lover" would get mad. It was a strange feeling; the feeling of freedom. One of happiness and joy yet filled with sadness and loneliness. I guess what I'm trying to say is that love isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's not that warm and fuzzy feeling, it's not the feeling of butterflies in your stomach when you see that "special someone". It's different for everyone. Call me a cynic; but love is a lie.
Comments, criticism, and grammatical corrections are welcome. I'm writing this for my English 1101 class and it's due tomorrow, so if you have something to say; say it soon. XD