Convincing others

[themanwhoneverwould]

Ok, i have realised i am gay, and i am ready to come out to my close friends, or at least, i would be, if one of my friends wasn't homophobic.
I really do not want to jeprodise our friendship because of it, but at the same time, i feel sick just thinking that these people, who i am good friends with, don't fully know who i am. I am thinking about coming out to my friend Jo first, as she was my first friend when i moved schools, and we keep each others secrets well.

I am also planning on coming out to a teacher, but want to find one who is anti-homophobic first.

Anyway, i want to convince this other friend, that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. That gays are normal people, just because they are gay, doesn't mean that they are all sex obsessed and have loving relationships to. I think its partly due to of his religious beliefs (strong Christian.) I am worried as well, what others will think when i come out to a wider group of people.

So i just want to ask you, do you know anyway i can convince him, and others, that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality.

just adding 1 last bit, i find there is loads done at school to breakdown the prejudices between different nationality's, and sex's, but nothing to ever show most of the pupils that they are normal people.
TO be honest, i think this thread, if good advice can be given, may help a lot of people, trying to come out.

Thanks!

[thepieman]

Well, I only came out 2 weeks ago and still am to more people. One thing I will say is, you know who your mates are.

So far, my mates who I've told have been supportive. I've not lost any yet (I say yet because I don't want to curse it), and all my mates are OK. What I mean is, if your mates are real friends, they'll have already accepted you for who you are, and their opinion shouldn't change because you're gay. But, be careful who you tell, and if there are people you don't want to know, don't tell them. Your mates should keep your secret secret if they are true friends.

As for the teachers, I doubt many would be homophobic. I don't want to be stereotypical, but I wouldn't tell a PE teacher just in case. So just be careful, and good luck. :)

[themanwhoneverwould]

Well msot of the teachers i have asked seem to think being gay is ok, but don't believe they should be able to adopt and marry and stuff like that. I would prefer to tell one who really is not bothered at all by it, and thinks they should be 100% equal.
There are 2 teachers
1 - Miss ? - she is fairly young, and easy to talk to in lessons because she is so 'with it' a lot of people go to her for advice. I managed to start a debate in RE, without it being obvious i was the cause of it, and she was like 'well i think its not their fault their are like it' etc etc, i know she isn't prejudice, but i want to be sure, so she said she will get back to the class on the topic of the debate on Monday. I would like to share it with her as she is really nice.


2 - Mr ? - really nice, down to earth, just out of uni and teaching, so not actually a massive age difference, under 10 years! In a lesson told us a relative of his is relatives has come out as being lesbian, so he is likely to be accepting.

But i would deffinatly want to be able to try and get the message across to people before i come out, that being gay is nothing bad, and they shouldn't be prejudice against gays, just how they shouldn't against another race or religion. So any more tips would be nice.

[thepieman]

OK, well if Miss is going to go back to the topic, why not talk to her about it. You could ask her to mention how there's nothing wrong with it to your class before the lesson, so you find it easier perhaps? Maybe if she told everyone it was OK people could be less prejudiced against gays.

[themanwhoneverwould]

I would never come out to an entire class, i just couldn't i have the self-estme that is extremely low. Little confidence at all, and would tell the teacher and best friends in the confidence in the knowledge they would to keep it secret.

[themanwhoneverwould]

anyone? because i would really not want my friend who is a homophobe to starting acting of with me and avoiding me, or worse.

I just want him to know that because i am gay, i wont be trying to go out with him and stuff like that, and just to convince him that there is nothing wrong with homosexual, its because of his religion, very strong Christian.

[Severus Snape]

If you are really friends it shouldn't matter. Period.

[themanwhoneverwould]

If you are really friends it shouldn't matter. Period.

But i really don't want to fal out with him because of it. which is what i am worried about. Or anyone else for that matter.
I can just imagine thins like PE becoming worse than they are already, especially in the changing rooms, (with everyone, not just the friend)