Help me make up my mind...

[sarah newman]

I first self harmed when i was 12. Quite a few of my friends self harmed and they said it doesnt do anything and it made thrm feel better. My parents are so over protective and one day i got sick of them so i tryed it out. I though that my friends were right about making you feel better coz i didnt feel this good in ages! I then read a magazine on self harm and it said that over 24,000 teens were hospitilized for self harming every year. I thought, No that wont happen to me. But now i cant quit, its to hard.
I want to tell someone but some of my friends wouldnt care, some of them would go through the ' you shouldnt do that' phrase and 1 friend that i want to teel most will slap me like she did last time. I am tempted to tell my tutor teacher but i dont want my parents to find out as they found out quite a while ago so that means that i cant go and see a counsillor. Online is my only option to talk to someone. My tutor teacher is also my PE teacher, so what if someone finds out if i pull my jumper arms up enough for them to see the cuts?
I cut myself half way down my forearm and i am tempted to go al the way. Please reply before its to late.
Also, can you tell if i'm addicted to this?

[Fusion]

Well the best thing to do would be to go and seek professional help but as you say you don't want to, To stop doing this I would start thinking positive I know it may seem hard but overtime it gets a lot better :), and also I would get a hobby or a job, one that takes up a lot of time thus meaning you are to busy

If you are caught there is nothing you can really do sorry to say that, but if you are going to see a professional your PE teacher would be compassionate with you because you are taking that step to stop :)

[Discomposure]

You said in your post that you want to tell someone about this, but you feel your friends won't be of much help. You won't tell your tutor because you don't want your parents finding out, the thing is your parents need to know, a lot of places don't give professional help without parental permission. Think about it this way, you've realised it's not that easy to stop self-harming, so perhaps you could realise you can't do it alone, you need some professional help, and if your that serious about getting it and stopping self-harming, then eventually you will realise your parents are the ones who need to know in order for you to get help.

Hope it all goes well. PM me if you need anything :)

[sarah newman]

Yeah, but my parents are the last people i want to tell! My school does counsilling but i think they dont tell parents if we dont want them to. I'll get advice from you.

[Cloud]

Yeah, but my parents are the last people i want to tell! My school does counsilling but i think they dont tell parents if we dont want them to. I'll get advice from you.

okay you may not want to tell your parents
but school has to tell by law i think
so your choice
have your parents find out from a teacher or from your honesty?
which one will disapoint them more?
theres only so much that can be accomplished online
i urge you to seek help
come clean with your parents
stop living in this lie that they think youve stopped and jsut come clean let them help you

[nick]

I agree with what Calum has said above.

Your parents will find out somehow, you just wont manage to keep your arms always covered. So it would probably be better to say to them that you have a problem and want to get help. If they know you're looking for help and want to stop then that will help them to be positive about it and not get into a rant.

[Discomposure]

Yeah, but my parents are the last people i want to tell! My school does counsilling but i think they dont tell parents if we dont want them to. I'll get advice from you.

Your parents will eventually have to know for you to get help. However i understand you don't want them to know. Your probably thinking now noo i'd never tell them, but if you want all this to stop, i think you eventually will.. so do it now, before it gets harder hope your okay. And yeah as calum said, by law the school have to tell your parents, they told mine,.. and i know you may have heard all this...
But i thought just like you, i always tought no, my parents don't need to know, it would be the worst thing ever if they did, but honestly at the start it doesn't seem like the right thing but in time you realise its so much better they know
good luck in whatever you decide...

EDIT: oh yeah, and if you get a school nurse or someone like that to tell them, the nurse will also give information on why people self-harm because alot of parents take it the wrong way because they don't know much at all about it they think that their child wants to die when thats hardly ever the case, if your parents have it explained to them then they may take it a little better and understand. it's better than them just seeing your arms one day and assume the worst!

[sarah newman]

My mums just had a huge opporation on her foot. I dont want to dissapoint them. One of my friends told me i can get private counsilling.

[Discomposure]

My mums just had a huge opporation on her foot. I dont want to dissapoint them. One of my friends told me i can get private counsilling.

You can't get private counselling without parents permission, it's the law. You won't be dissapointing them,
Your showing you can go to them with a problem that you have, and that you want to sort it. You need to stop thinking about how they would react, and just do it. Once it's done, things can move on :)

[sarah newman]

have read what Brad put. I might agree with him. But i might go to one of my close friends...

[Discomposure]

have read what Brad put. I might agree with him. But i might go to one of my close friends...

it's totally your choice, you do what your happy with but just stay safe :)

[sarah newman]

If i was to tell my parents, how would i tell them???

[Cloud]

If i was to tell my parents, how would i tell them???

carefully pick the time
and the date too
dont tell em on a good day because it will ruin it
but same dont tell it on a bad day as they could overreact

practice exactly what your going to say in a mirror or something so you have a clear idea in youe head
and jsut sit them down

[Discomposure]

If i was to tell my parents, how would i tell them???

I'd say instead of planning it, do it when you feel ready. You could maybe think about letting them know, it's not a suicide attempt but you do it to cope with things, or use it as a release, or whatever it does for you, it can vary for people... Let them know you do want some help which is why you've came to them. I know what Calum means about going over what your going to say, but if your the type of person that things easily get to them then i'd try not to worry about what your going to say, it will all just come out when you talk to them.

And if you feel like you can't do it, then go to a teacher that you can trust, they might send you to the school counsellor and tell the counsellor you'd like them to tell your parents.
Good Luck

[MadManWithaBox]

telling your parents or any authority figure can be hard. but all you need is one burst of courage, and it feels like the weight of the universe has been lifted off your shoulders. If you directly want to tell your parents, then sit them down, and just do it, don't think about it or you might chicken out. They'll be upset and distressed, but they'll also value the fact you trsut them enogh to tell them, and that you want to get help. Or, tell your school counsellor, or matron or what not, ask her to tell them on your behalf, Counsellors are generally understanding and non-judgemental, so they might just be good to talk, and vent to.telling someone takes an enormus amount of courage, and its excellent that you do. Pm me anytime

[sarah newman]

I told one of my mates and her and i are going to see our school counsillor as my mate got help a little while ago. The school counsillor does not tell our parents if i dont want them two. Im not going to tell my parents as they dont need to know. Thankyou for your advice and support. I will keep in touch of what happens next. Once again, Thankyou!

[Discomposure]

I told one of my mates and her and i are going to see our school counsillor as my mate got help a little while ago. The school counsillor does not tell our parents if i dont want them two. Im not going to tell my parents as they dont need to know. Thankyou for your advice and support. I will keep in touch of what happens next. Once again, Thankyou!

Well done :) Your getting one step closer to stopping all of this! Your friend sounds like a good friend. Good luck with it all.

Can I just say, if your parents are sometimes the cause of your self-harm like they stress you out, pressure you etc... Then the school counselor may feel the only way to help you stop, is your parents knowing, so they can help too. But the school counselor won't do anything without going through it all with you.

Good luck, thanks for letting us all know! :) PM me if you ever need anything

[Shenron]

Great, I am happy to hear that you are getting help. But I do have a few things I would like to say.

Cutting can be addicting because your body releases endorphins that make you feel so good. But pain is not the only thing that does that. Running, jogging, and most other physical activity releases those same endorphins. So make me a promise, the next time you feel like cutting yourself, go outside and run for 20 mins, if that doesn't work, jog, play basketball, soccer, something, just don't cut yourself.

Hope this helps! :)

[sarah newman]

Please help. I feel as if i HAVE to cut. I dont know why, i dont really know why im saying this, sorry for wasting your time but ive got to say this. Last night i cut myself. Just one cut... Me and my mate are going to see someone, either my tutor teacher or our school counsillor, I have had a couple of panic attacks, but that one cut made me feel so good... But now i feel as if its brought me a million steps down, but it made me feel great. HELP!

[sarah newman]

One time i cut myself, it spread round my whole year group at school, i dont no how, but i got called an emo a couple of times. I need to know this, What IS an emo???

[MadManWithaBox]

An emo is mostly used in the context meaning someone who cuts/and or harms themsleves. It's not a paticulurly nice word to use, at least in that context.

[Discomposure]

One time i cut myself, it spread round my whole year group at school, i dont no how, but i got called an emo a couple of times. I need to know this, What IS an emo???

'emo' is a stupid stereotypical word used by people who are to afraid to understand people, too insecure to even want to know. It actually means, emotionally challenged but it's a stereotype for people along with things like chav and prep. The thing is, stereotypes happen everywhere and nobody can really stop it so you have to learn to just ignore it. And about the fact that you said you like cutting, maybe it's become a habit? You probably like it because of the feeling it gives you, that rush that happens, the feelings it lets out. But the more you do it when you like it, it;s harder to stop. Great your getting help! :) Good luck with it, let us know how it goes.

Btw: next time use the edit button, double posting is against the rules.
PM me if u need anything :)

[sarah newman]

Please reply and Help me!!!

[Discomposure]

Please reply and Help me!!!

We can't do much as we are only virtual, your helping yourself by going to see that school counsellor, just make sure you do it. even when you get second thoughts, just do it. Then you'll be helped :)

[sarah newman]

Parents know. Seeing a counsillor with friend. Tutor teacher and 3 other teachers know. Let you know how it goes x

[Discomposure]

Parents know. Seeing a counsillor with friend. Tutor teacher and 3 other teachers know. Let you know how it goes x

Great XD, well done. If things get too much and you'd like to talk just pm me, things will be able to get sorted now. Good luck <3

[dstnyisurs]

Yeah, but my parents are the last people i want to tell! My school does counsilling but i think they dont tell parents if we dont want them to. I'll get advice from you.
Your school will tell if they think that you are going to severely harm yourself. They will not, however, call without sufficient proof that you are in a life threatening situation because oftentimes there is a good reason parents aren't told about self harm from the student. Unless they think that there is a major problem they will at least consult you about talking to your parents. Your guidance counselors are there to help you, and if they feel that your parents need to know, then they just may. If it is a situation where it could be very very bad for your parents to know, they will listen. You just have to speak up- and speaking up is the first step to any problem. You can do it, love. You've already reconized that you need help.

My suggestion is to stay busy - learn an instroment, take a hard class, join a club, something of the sort. If you are in high school, you can often take free online courses. They take up a lot of time in independant schoolwork and time on the computer and are a positive distraction. You can always talk to me if you need to - I'm on much less since school has started but you're always welcome to instant message me. (:

As lame as it sounds, concentrating on schoolwork is a decent distraction and your parents will be pleased with the grades. You can also try pixie stix or something to get the same energy rush cutting gives you to try to wean yourself off the addiction. Make sure you exercise to work off the sugar though! Exercising is also a good distraction, and gives you an adrenaline rush which is a good "high".

I know you can do it. Au revoir. (:

[sarah newman]

Im cancilling the counsillor. They wont help me. Besides, my friendtold my tutor teacher which has helped abit. I cry every night coz i get mixed emotions. Mum wants to take me to the doctor as she thinks i might suffer form depression as i stay in my room all day, cry at the slightest thing, get mood swings easily. The school nurse has said to my mum that they dont know why im doing it and that ive told them two different stories, which is a lie. If i do it again, i might just come out and say it to my tutor teacher. But sometimes i wonder if i should or not tell him because he cant do anything but it does get it of my chest to know that someone does know about it. But i dont want help. One of my mates said if i dont stop doing it then i will get sent to the mental hospital. Sometimes i get thoughts about if i have an overdose of tablets then who would actually care? I wouldnt have to worry about the bullies anymore. I get the same question with hanging myself. Im not gonna do it but i just get the thoughts. I havent told anyone about that. I dont know what to do. Please help me! xxx

[sarah newman]

Also, some days i eat and eat and eat, but other days i dont eat at all. The eating all the time last for 2 days, which the not eatings days last for about 5 days. Whats wrong with me?

[sarah newman]

Whats the point in living anymore? No one can help me