It's On All of Our Minds Right Now, but What's Really the Best Way?

[Blue63]

Well it's fall, so coming up is everyones Homecoming/fall dance, for some of us it's coming sooner than others. So maybe some of you guys could help me, or all of us that are concerned about it for that matter.

Personally, mines in a little less than a month, I'm a Sophmore, so it's becoming more of a big deal. I've never actually asked a girl before, I got forcefully set up last time (a tale for another day). So, what are the mechanics of it? I have a few questions, considering I want to ask my crush, (Crush for 5 months, pathetic I know).


So how long do you wait to ask her? I always heard at least 2 weeks before, longer? Shorter? What do you think?


If it's a crush, but also someone in your "group of friends-ish" should you add in "go as friends" when you ask them? Just to be safe or whatever?



How should you ask them? Text, phone, in person? Should you focus on what's least confrontational or try and be pretty personal?



When you're asking someone, should you be as casual as possible, try and slip it like Mr. Cool or be like, "Hey I've been meaning to ask you something," or somewhere in between?



Any other good tips??? God knows I need 'em :P


Well thanks for the help, I wouldn't of asked considering this is somewhat of a common topic now with individual threads, but it's been really stressing me out, but it seems like everything is doing that now a days.

Girls, what do you want? I mean you are the ones being asked, I'd love some feedback from all of you!!

[Delusion15]

So how long do you wait to ask her? I always heard at least 2 weeks before, longer? Shorter? What do you think?
Whenever you get the courage really lol
If it's a crush, but also someone in your "group of friends-ish" should you add in "go as friends" when you ask them? Just to be safe or whatever?

Eh iffy on this one but i would ask her first if she wan't to as not friends and if she says no maybe the friends option could be used then
How should you ask them? Text, phone, in person? Should you focus on what's least confrontational or try and be pretty personal?

Definitly in person
When you're asking someone, should you be as casual as possible, try and slip it like Mr. Cool or be like, "Hey I've been meaning to ask you something," or somewhere in between?
try to be casual but look at her and actually look like you mean it
Any other good tips??? God knows I need 'em
be yourself it is tired and true but it works.

oh and for liking a girl for 9 months it is not pathetic my girlfriend i have liked since the third grade that is pathetic lol

[AutumnDae]

So how long do you wait to ask her? I always heard at least 2 weeks before, longer? Shorter? What do you think?


If it's a crush, but also someone in your "group of friends-ish" should you add in "go as friends" when you ask them? Just to be safe or whatever?



How should you ask them? Text, phone, in person? Should you focus on what's least confrontational or try and be pretty personal?



When you're asking someone, should you be as casual as possible, try and slip it like Mr. Cool or be like, "Hey I've been meaning to ask you something," or somewhere in between?



Any other good tips??? God knows I need 'em :P


Well thanks for the help, I wouldn't of asked considering this is somewhat of a common topic now with individual threads, but it's been really stressing me out, but it seems like everything is doing that now a days.

Girls, what do you want? I mean you are the ones being asked, I'd love some feedback from all of you!!

Awh! Crushes! For 5 months! You're gonna make me cry!

Awhhhhhhhhhh. :) So sweet!

Anyways, 1.) 2 weeks before is a good amount of time, but then again, a week is fine. At least for me, having a date isn't a big deal. Then again, homecoming isn't that big of a deal. But, you might want to ask a week and a half to 2 weeks before.

2.) I don't think "Going as friends" is really necessary, do you? After all, you don't want to be just friends!

3.) I would definitely prefer to be asked in person. Anyone can text, it's too impersonal. If you're absolutely too nervous to do it in person, you could call too, I suppose.

4.) Oh jeesh! You need a play by play here! Umm, good question. It depends, I guess. You could ask her at lunch, just mention the dance or something, then say "Are you going with anyone? If not, I'd like it if you would be my date, if you want."

5.) A good idea, is if your school has a homecoming football/soccer/field hockey/whatever game, why not see if she wants to meet you there and spend some time there with her? That would be fun. And if you live anywhere like I do, it gets cold! And cold=you offering a sweater to her!

[Blue63]

Whenever you get the courage really lol

Eh iffy on this one but i would ask her first if she wan't to as not friends and if she says no maybe the friends option could be used then

Definitly in person

try to be casual but look at her and actually look like you mean it

be yourself it is tired and true but it works.

oh and for liking a girl for 9 months it is not pathetic my girlfriend i have liked since the third grade that is pathetic lol


1. Haha well that could be a long time, I'm best at just being thrust into a situation and having to struggle for my life

2. Yeah this one is the one that is irking me, I'd rather not ask her twice, that just kind of seems awkward, and maybe a bit desperate. But I see what you are saying

3. Mkay

4. Sounds good, kind of a mix, might be a little hard to nail but I can try

Thanks, I understand that it's not the worst thing in the world, it just kind of sucks being a sophmore and never have really had a girl I really care about till now, but that's something else entirely, thank you though!




Awh! Crushes! For 5 months! You're gonna make me cry!

Awhhhhhhhhhh. :) So sweet!

Anyways, 1.) 2 weeks before is a good amount of time, but then again, a week is fine. At least for me, having a date isn't a big deal. Then again, homecoming isn't that big of a deal. But, you might want to ask a week and a half to 2 weeks before.

2.) I don't think "Going as friends" is really necessary, do you? After all, you don't want to be just friends!

3.) I would definitely prefer to be asked in person. Anyone can text, it's too impersonal. If you're absolutely too nervous to do it in person, you could call too, I suppose.

4.) Oh jeesh! You need a play by play here! Umm, good question. It depends, I guess. You could ask her at lunch, just mention the dance or something, then say "Are you going with anyone? If not, I'd like it if you would be my date, if you want."

5.) A good idea, is if your school has a homecoming football/soccer/field hockey/whatever game, why not see if she wants to meet you there and spend some time there with her? That would be fun. And if you live anywhere like I do, it gets cold! And cold=you offering a sweater to her!



Thanks, hopefully that kind of dedication comes off as sweet to her and not creepy:D

1. Okay thanks, so around that area and I'm good, I was told I have to give her time to get a new dress and everything. So this works

2. Haha I certainly don't, but there's always that part of me that will fight forever to bottle everything up. But the way you say it makes sense, thank you!

3. No, in persons fine, just wanted to make sure!

4. Haha I'm pretty new to this. Well that's the thing, two different schools, I know she doesn't have a date because I go to an all boys school and no one there really knows her well enough to ask her, but I see what your saying, at least the essence of it. Don't make a huge deal out of it, but be personal about it, got it.

5. Haha it's not cold yet, but it will be soon, so I'll keep that in mind for the future ;). Sadly no, we don't, well we did, but it was last month and 2 months before homecoming dance, weird I know. I just need to see her more often, I've been so busy recently I haven't had a chance to hang out with her, even when she's asked me to. Stuff like that kinda tears me apart, I'll hopefully change that this weekend, and I'm going to a paramore concert with her in early october, and that's a set date so that's good. Thanks though, it means a lot, really it does!! :yes:

I don't know, the thing that worries me is that she's to out of my league, that she can get any guy she wants and I'm just the dorky kid she talks to on the weekends or when she's bored. Maybe I'm paranoid, or maybe I'm right, that's where the battle begins within myself.

[Ortizitthisone]

Even though you say now that it's 'becoming more of a big deal,' you'll realize in the next couple of years that it's really not a big deal after all. Any girl should be flattered when a guy asks her to a dance. Just be yourself, work up the courage and ask her. What's the worst that could happen if you ask her? She says no. It'll sting, but you'll get over it. But if you don't ask her, you miss out on a great opportunity. Just be yourself and ask. Good luck mate! And let us know how it goes.

[Blue63]

I know, and I'm sure to her it will be seen as meaningless. I think it's just more of a personal step, putting my self out on a limb, being scared to death. I'm going to try and do it this weekend, but I don't know, I just need the courage and a whole lot of luck. I thank you all for all your help. I just need to get over my personal barriers and get myself to do it.

[Blue63]

Sorry for the double post, but this pertains to this topic and it would be unnecessary to create another thread.

Okay so I asked her to homecoming. We were texting and she was like, "I just found out I can't go to my dance because I'm out of town, and I was all excited to pick out a dress to." Now I could have been coy and been like, "maybe you will get to pick out a dress after all ;)" Which I literally just thought about, shit I could have used that. Well I asked her played it cool, she said yes and everything.

Now I'm more subconscious then ever. I feel like shit and am ashamed. I don't know why? I think it's cause I did it over text, but I didn't plan it I took an opportunity. I should be happy but I feel worse then ever. It's like gah, I don't know what's going on inside me.

[Ortizitthisone]

Matt, I promise you that you will look back at this in a couple years and think 'how silly of me to get so worked up about this.' It's silly to second-guess yourself over the method of asking her. The fact is, you asked her. And she said yes! Be happy. No, be thrilled! This is a girl you really like, and she's proven that she enjoys spending time with you by agreeing to let you take her to this dance. Don't worry about the method of asking. If she actually likes you, she probably doesn't care about that. So don't worry about it. Just go to the dance and have a great night out with your friends! High school dances are a great time, just go out, be yourself and have fun!

Congrats man!
--Jim

[Blue63]

I know I shouldn't be, haha I've always had a problem looking at the bright side. It's just wierd, I should be thrilled, instead I'm ashamed. I just need to shake it out of myself, thank you for all your help. It means a lot! I shouldn't stress about this, so I'll try and get my mind to stop (easier said then done). Thanks again Jim!

[Ortizitthisone]

No problem bud. Remember you can PM, AIM or Skype me anytime you need help with anything, I'm glad to help.