myapocalypse
September 28th, 2009, 03:04 AM
OK, so i was dating this girl for just over a year and 3 months. She is the love of my life. She is the most amazing woman ever. She makes me feel so happy when i see her. Yes we are the normal couple that get in fights, but we always make up and its never anything horrible. Well, a few weeks ago she started getting this, what we call, "the feeling". its somewhat hard to explain it, but here it goes. She will sometimes start doubting her love for me, and then he heart will start to ache, she will get sick to her stomach and she will start crying horribly. We have tried getting rid of it but nothing works for more then 2 or 3 weeks. It causes her so much pain that she has had to end our relationship because it hurt so bad. I understand it completely, im not mad at her, or even upset. I just love her with my whole being and want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is the only person i can talk to anything about and have told her everything, she has done like wise with me.
It might also help to tell you that she is 15, im 17. She i my best friends younger sister. This is both our first relationship ( and wanted it to be our only)
I know that it may sound like I love her and she may not love me back. But she does, she says it ever 20 minutess, and every time she does say it, she smiles so big and her eyes glisten. She can literally make me smile when im crying ( which she has only seen me do when someone close to me died, and when she broke up with me) She says she cant go more then a day without seeing me unless she has no choice. But even then we talk all day long over text. Then a few hours on the phone at night. She and i have sat and talked about our future together fro hours upon hours. She had decided we would get married after she gets out of high school, but only an elope. Then once we got settled down and had a good amount of money put away we would have a really nice and big ceremony. We even figured out how many dogs and kids we would have, and all their names, where we would live, what type of house, everything you can think of. She says that we WILL get back together, even if its in a few years. But it kills me to know that i wont be with her, even if we do get back together, i dont know how i will be able to live without her.
I cant exactly close contact with her like most people would say, because my best friend is her brother.
She says she doesnt want to be with anyone else and wants to stay with me for the rest of her life. I think this "feeling" may be occurring because she hasnt dated anyone else before. She also has a VERY rough home life and hadnt heard the words i love you for a few weeks until i had first said them to her, which then she started crying and laughing and saying it back and hugging and kissing me. I would understand if she dated other guys while we are apart, but i just cant see myself not caring about it.
I know that there is a major possibility of us not ever getting back together. But i want to so so badly, i dont ever want to date anyone else. I know im 17 and people think " im to young to know what love is", but i do, i really do. We can sit with each other in a room not talking and just reading and watching tv and we will both be 100% comfortable and ok with doing nothing. Or I can take her to the zoo and have a blast just watching her look at the animals and taking pictures for her scrap book because she loves photography more then doing anything else.
I dont know what to do without her, or how to go on with life without her.
OK, im done. Im sorry for this excessively long letter, but i had to get it all out, and explain it to you so that you know how much i truly love her.
It might also help to tell you that she is 15, im 17. She i my best friends younger sister. This is both our first relationship ( and wanted it to be our only)
I know that it may sound like I love her and she may not love me back. But she does, she says it ever 20 minutess, and every time she does say it, she smiles so big and her eyes glisten. She can literally make me smile when im crying ( which she has only seen me do when someone close to me died, and when she broke up with me) She says she cant go more then a day without seeing me unless she has no choice. But even then we talk all day long over text. Then a few hours on the phone at night. She and i have sat and talked about our future together fro hours upon hours. She had decided we would get married after she gets out of high school, but only an elope. Then once we got settled down and had a good amount of money put away we would have a really nice and big ceremony. We even figured out how many dogs and kids we would have, and all their names, where we would live, what type of house, everything you can think of. She says that we WILL get back together, even if its in a few years. But it kills me to know that i wont be with her, even if we do get back together, i dont know how i will be able to live without her.
I cant exactly close contact with her like most people would say, because my best friend is her brother.
She says she doesnt want to be with anyone else and wants to stay with me for the rest of her life. I think this "feeling" may be occurring because she hasnt dated anyone else before. She also has a VERY rough home life and hadnt heard the words i love you for a few weeks until i had first said them to her, which then she started crying and laughing and saying it back and hugging and kissing me. I would understand if she dated other guys while we are apart, but i just cant see myself not caring about it.
I know that there is a major possibility of us not ever getting back together. But i want to so so badly, i dont ever want to date anyone else. I know im 17 and people think " im to young to know what love is", but i do, i really do. We can sit with each other in a room not talking and just reading and watching tv and we will both be 100% comfortable and ok with doing nothing. Or I can take her to the zoo and have a blast just watching her look at the animals and taking pictures for her scrap book because she loves photography more then doing anything else.
I dont know what to do without her, or how to go on with life without her.
OK, im done. Im sorry for this excessively long letter, but i had to get it all out, and explain it to you so that you know how much i truly love her.