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nachtspiegel
September 20th, 2009, 10:28 PM
I'm not trying to turn this into a long, mopey rant, but I just want to let some things go.
This past month has been a lot to handle, but I was making it fine. I've been stressed, aggravated, and wearing myself thin, but I was handling it. The one thing that I cannot as easily deal with is when my spirit and my heart are crushed on top of the rest of it. I have a bad habit of putting too much of myself into the things that I do. This time, it was a person. The details aren't really necessary, but I didn't think that she could make me feel this way. It usually takes a long time to touch my exterior as a whole because I've made myself that way.
This past month has been a lot, but that topped it off.
I wear two faces, one that's strong, uncaring, charming, and cunning, and the other that is crushed and emotional. I'm wearing the strong face while having the crushed exterior. I haven't had a serious mood swing in almost a month.
I've been having thoughts that I shouldn't and it's against me. That's about all I really want to say right now. I hope that it'll help to have let that much loose. Usually I regret including the details.

Atonement
September 20th, 2009, 11:57 PM
I can't really express to you how much you mean to so many people here. I've given you this response before, but you need it again. We love you so much and nothing would make us happier than to see you succeed and be happy. Honestly happy. We don't want any of this fake bullshit.

We love you.

nachtspiegel
September 23rd, 2009, 10:35 PM
:hug:

I've been a little better over the past couple of days. I haven't been able to go to class since Monday due to being sick and I wasn't able to get into the doctor until tomorrow, but I'm catching up and I don't have to go back to work until Friday.
I'm focusing on the positive in every bad situation right now, except for one where there is no positive, and casting out the rest because that's all I can do. I'm going to drop a class tomorrow, so hopefully that will help in the short term while I make plans to catch up in the long term.

nick
September 24th, 2009, 07:35 AM
Hang in there mate, there will be plenty of people rooting for you.