worries

[ocean_blue]

ok...this is probably a stupid post but oh well, ur reading it now....
so my friend left her phone at mine and i didnt realise until it beeped with a message from another of her friends. i didnt mean 2 open it, it didnt say anything much anyway, but i went 2 her inbox 2 mark it as unread anyway, so she didnt think i was nosy.
there i found a convo she'd had with her bf. about me.
i shouldnt have read it, but i did. i should probably be happy that it wasnt bitchy, or insulting. it just basically said that she was gonna tell someone about me and my "problems". i should be happy that she cares. i know im lucky that i have people. but im not ready 2 stop. and im not ready 2 talk 2 her about it. and i dont want her 2 no i read her messages. and i guess, i never thought about it bothering them before...
now im confused.
i hate it that they talk about me
but im happy she cares
but i dont want help
im coping
well kinda
but now i feel guilty
that im getting in their way
she shouldnt have 2 talk 2 her bf about it
what kind of a friend am i??
and i no what i normally do, wen im feeling angry or afraid
but if she tells somone i dont want them 2 se
but i want it so bad
am i just over-reacting??
(sorry this is so long)

[Discomposure]

It's understandable that she has spoken to her boyfriend about this, as you maybe don't want to talk about it with her at the moment, thats also understandable. Try not to think of it as she's talking about you, because really, she isn't she just wants to helps and is obviously worried for you. I personally think, you should let this be how your going to get help, let her tell someone. Once she does, you'll be able to get the help you need, and then she doesn't need to know you read her texts. Let this be your way out of all this.
And no, your not over-reacting!
Good luck <3

[Shalom]

You shouldn't do any self harm to yourself in the first place. You should definitely talk to her or someone and get the word out there. You have to reach for help because this could really end up bad if you don't solve it!

[Sapphire]

Oh my God, just stop stressing so much.
If she is considering telling someone then it is because she is worried about you. It is better she tell someone than just let you continue self destructing.
Tbh, you are lucky. Do you want to know what my friends did when they found out? They told the whole year group!
Why don't you start appreciating the love that your friend has for you and make steps towards getting better?!

[Project Delta]

Like sapphire said, the same thing happened to me and then i was taunted because of it, So be happy that thats not what they are doing right now!.
I would kill to have friends that decent, so just be careful that ya dont lose them, coz they are good friends

[ocean_blue]

thanks everyone
yes i no i am very lucky
i just panic sometimes i guess 'cos it just feels really private, you know?? and i dont feel ready for others to ask me about it unless i wanna tell them.
even if they do mean it nicely
i think im just scared other people wont be so understanding.
so im just not going 2 say anything to her...but there u go...
im sorry if this made u guys mad, 'cos i no it must have been horrible not to have people on your side through it all, (people at my last school were similar to this) and i owe my friends alot for being there even if they dont all no it.
i hope this will work out good in the end...and i hope u guys are all ok 2...if that makes sense at all...<3

[Darkness]

Look dealing with a friend self harming is really HARD, I had to tell someone eventrly, It's hard to hold in, the people who know need support just as much (although not as often) as the self harmer does. Sorry this is a bit late, keep us posted if anything happens. :)