What Am I Supposed To Do About This?

[The Harlequin]

I feel awful right now...
There's a horrible clenched feeling in my chest and Idon't know if there's anything I can do about it.

I am the youngest of two sisters and a brother, and I just... Feel so ~ insignificant.

There:
I said it.

Everything I do has already been done, I've started Sixth Form ~ So What? It's nothing impressive, after all, my other siblings have all excelled in the Sixth Form, it's expected of me. I can't fail (so I'm told) because the others managed it ~ therefore I MUST succeed...

I no longer feel like my own person.
I feel as though I'm just wearing the same face worn like a depressingly dusty cliché, nobody cares anymore ~ the critics groan with the repettative nature of the show, there's nothing new to see...

I find it increasingly hard to get motivated, I worry that I'll spread myself too thinly one moment and the next wonder if I'm even doing enough.

What am I supposed to do?
Any attempt to talk to my family is brushed aside as though I'm being stupid, it's almost as though failure is not an option, as though it just won't happen... And then I end up shitting myself about the implications of what would happen to me if I inadvertantly prove them wrong, that their blazé attitude was wrong...?

Please help me, I feel so depressed...
thank you,

[Grey fox]

If you were a girl I'd say do it Ilfracombe style - Drop out and get pregnant.

But you're a guy, so that wouldn't really work.... Are you SURE you're doing hwat you want to do?

And don't worry about feeling down about not feeling in control of your life, I got really down a while back when I felt so unfocussed and unsure.

You needn't fail as such, just do something that YOU want to do. If you then say to your family that you don't want to be in 6th form and want to do a foundation diploma in car body repairs or whatever, then good for you!

Ultimate advice - get an ambition / dream / ideal job and just work towards it. And if you havn't a clue, hedge your bets.

My boyfriend started 6th form because he couldn't think of anything better to do, and has now dropped out of 6th form, is on a training course and working in his dream job (which pays him £23 an hour!)

So yeah, find something that you want to do, no matter what that may be! And do it! So long as you will not be hindered by doing it. E.g. if you REALLY want to cut off your leg one week, do it, then decide you want to be a sports coach the next, that might be tricky...

[Shalom]

You should talk to your family. If they are not understanding then thats okay, move on do what you CAN DO in school. If they can't accept that you are not perfect then its their loss. You can't lose yourself in between all this. You have to be the strong one and stick up for yourself all the time.