In school.

[Discomposure]

You don’t have to read this if you don’t want, I’m just confused and a friend told me I should post it on VT and see what you all think, I'd like a bit of advice please?

Well, I cut myself at school today for the first time. Not my first time cutting, just doing it at school. I don’t want the self-harming to get out of control but I feel like it is. I wasn’t in a very good mood anyway today and during class I was just sat thinking about things. Recently I haven’t been feeling good, about anything. I feel like I can do nothing right at the moment, I’m always feeling shitty and down. I got my exam results from last year and I’d done quite bad in them, just a few things have made me feel quite crap recently. So I just went in the toilets and cut.

Anyway, I’m quite confused about a few things, daft things really, like the way I feel and which people I want to talk to about stuff. I know this sounds really needy and pathetic but all I want to do is sit with this teacher that I’m close too and just talk to her about everything (she knows about my self-harming), and I know she wants to know how I am and how the holidays went for me and I know she cares too, but the thing is when I do talk to her I just give quick simple answers and I go all weird. In the end she just said well you know where I am if you need me. I think I might have sent the message that I didn’t want to talk to her, but that’s SO the opposite. My school counselor/nurse has left and we have a new one but I don’t want to talk to the new one, I can’t tell someone I don’t know about everything. Also, and this is what confuses me the most. I’m NOT suicidal but I keep thinking about killing myself and what I would say to people before I did it, I keep having dreams about the aftermath of me doing it. It’s really stupid because what I’ve been through or the way I’m feeling isn’t so bad that I’d kill myself I don't think. I’m a strong person, I just wouldn’t. I even wrote out a text about what I’d say to my friend and my teacher if I was going to but I didn’t send it. I don’t get it because I’m not suicidal just sick of feeling rubbish and down. My social lifes even suffering because I never want to talk to people, and I must annoy my best mate sometimes being down all the time, however she is the one who puts a smile on my face sometimes and she’s always there for me, she just never knows what to say.


Sorry if this makes no sense, but to me it does.

[Paper Wings]

I think that you should really try talking to your teacher. :] It's hard, but you're so lucky to have someone willing to listen! I think it would be a great opprotunity. I hope you start feeling better, love.

[Amyxoxo]

When you talk to your teacher just like say that you for some reason find it really hard to talk now, if you feel yourself closing up then say it all really quickly and then it will all be out anyways :)
You may just want to know what people would think if you did kill yourself :)
Also let your friend know that she doesnt have to say anything to do with the subject sorta thing just tell her that you need her to be there for you. :)
PM me anytime :)
xx

[Discomposure]

Thanks, I'd feel a bit daft telling my teacher that I find it hard to talk to her, i know it's wierd but I would. I'm dreading the weekend cos all I want to do is just talk to my teacher but .. i dunno i used to talk to her but after the holls i just don't want to anymore.

[Aηdy]

Just stay strong hun, I think that you think about thinks too much. Don't get yourself down about silly little things. They really don't matter :)

[Discomposure]

Just stay strong hun, I think that you think about thinks too much. Don't get yourself down about silly little things. They really don't matter :)

Thanks Andy,

BTW I have said I want to speak to my teacher and i'm going to see her on monday, I dunno what I should tell her and shouldn't and I dunno how to say it all, i'll only get all embarrased and go wierd.

Any ideas thanks

[Beautiful Obsession]

Aww Babee Im SorryYou Feel Like This, I Really Wish I Could Do Sumet To Stop All This From Happenin to Youu:(

I Can Only Really Say What Said On Msn..

Your Teacher Wants To Help, Shes There To Lsten To You, And To Help You, So Let Her, On Monday, Tel Her Everything You Told Me, I Know Its Easier Said Than Donee, You Plan It Out, Then When It Comes To It Youu Just Freeze, An Wanna GetOut Of There... How About You Write Her A Letter, Saying Everything You Want To Say To Her, Put It On Her Desk Monday Morning, Let Her Read It, And Whn You Go And See Her She Will Know How Your Feeling And There Wont Be Any Tension And Write In The Letter How Youu Feel When YOur Speaking To Her.

Just A Thought.

About This Cuttin Thing,

You NEED To Stop Taking Your Razor To Schoool, Like I Said On Msn, You Take It To School You Will Definately End Up Cutting..
And Instead Of Beating This Your Making It Worsee,, Just Remember, Prom, You Need The Scars To Heal,, Not Makee Them More Visablee.. Pleasee Babee You Need To Talk To Someonee,

And I Know Its Hard About Your School Councler Leaving, And I Know How Close You Were To Her, But Youuu Still Need To Speak To The New One, Once You Are Use To Her It Will Be Fine Babee I Promisee..

And Your Friend Is There To Help, Im Sure She Understands What You Are Goin Throughh..


Sorry About The Longg Post, I Just Want You To Get Better Babeee:)

Lovee You xx

[Discomposure]

Aww Babee Im SorryYou Feel Like This, I Really Wish I Could Do Sumet To Stop All This From Happenin to Youu:(

I Can Only Really Say What Said On Msn..

Your Teacher Wants To Help, Shes There To Lsten To You, And To Help You, So Let Her, On Monday, Tel Her Everything You Told Me, I Know Its Easier Said Than Donee, You Plan It Out, Then When It Comes To It Youu Just Freeze, An Wanna GetOut Of There... How About You Write Her A Letter, Saying Everything You Want To Say To Her, Put It On Her Desk Monday Morning, Let Her Read It, And Whn You Go And See Her She Will Know How Your Feeling And There Wont Be Any Tension And Write In The Letter How Youu Feel When YOur Speaking To Her.

Just A Thought.

About This Cuttin Thing,

You NEED To Stop Taking Your Razor To Schoool, Like I Said On Msn, You Take It To School You Will Definately End Up Cutting..
And Instead Of Beating This Your Making It Worsee,, Just Remember, Prom, You Need The Scars To Heal,, Not Makee Them More Visablee.. Pleasee Babee You Need To Talk To Someonee,

And I Know Its Hard About Your School Councler Leaving, And I Know How Close You Were To Her, But Youuu Still Need To Speak To The New One, Once You Are Use To Her It Will Be Fine Babee I Promisee..

And Your Friend Is There To Help, Im Sure She Understands What You Are Goin Throughh..


Sorry About The Longg Post, I Just Want You To Get Better Babeee:)

Lovee You xx


Thanks hollie, and i know your right about bringing them to school, i'm more likely to do it. If i did write a letter, what would I tell my teacher, i couldn't tell her about doing it at school cos she might have to report it... And I don't wanna tell her about thinking about if I was dead and killing myself :S
x

[Beautiful Obsession]

Thanks hollie, and i know your right about bringing them to school, i'm more likely to do it. If i did write a letter, what would I tell my teacher, i couldn't tell her about doing it at school cos she might have to report it... And I don't wanna tell her about thinking about if I was dead and killing myself :S
x

Exactly So Take Them Out Of Your Bag:D
Tell Her Everything, Tell Her Aboutt Cutting At School, And About The Thought Your Getting, Dont Worry About It, You Could Even Ask For The Letter Backk.. Just Say How You Feel And Why You Cant Say It To Her Face, She Will Understand Babess.. Theres Not Really Alot Moree To Say Than That.. Good Luck Babeee xxx:D

[dstnyisurs]

Love, don't take cha razor to school. You can get in a whole lot of trouble for that - expulsion, for instance.It's going to be hard to talk, but you have the resources. You say you aren't suicidal, but you're thinking dangerous thoughts it seems so just.. be careful. There are lots of people that will swear they aren't suicidal until their last breath, and I hope you or someone close to you can make sureyou don't get to that point. :( Sorry, it just concerns me.
I'm here if you need me, chere.