My dads cheating on my mom

[Ryhanna]

Okay so full story: Last Janurary my dads friend and her daughter (who's about my age) came to stay with us for a week. My dad and his friend who we'll call 'Mary' spent lots of time together, showing her around town and everything. My mom was too busy taking care of the house to go with them because the people staying with us were... well, pigs. At the time I was busy falling totally in love with Mary's daughter. After they went home I noticed that my dad was spending a lot of time on msn talking to who I thought was Mary's oldest daughter. One night I decided to find out what was going on so I lurked around the computer when he was on it. After a while he had to go across the road to see our neighbour about something and closed msn. Earlier I'd sneakishly turned on the 'save conversations' option and immediatley went to read through the conversation. Mary said "I love you" to my dad several times in the conversation to which my dad replied " love you to my sexy chick." and Mary had said AFTER my dad logged off - "By the way, I loved those texts." Dad stupidly left his phone at the computer, I read the texts, which I cant post here because its got stuff I'd probably get banned for saying. I knew now that it true, not just some strange joke. I sent the message to my phone for future evidence. Unfortunatley my phone broke after my sister through it into a pool.

Can you give me any adivce for what I can do about this horrible man I'm forced to call "dad". I'm afraid to confront him, and I dont have any evidence for my mom, I'd be too afraid to tell her anyway, because they'd split up and we'd lose everything. Help please

[Eagle1]

show the msn to you mom she will get mad at him but if she finds out you knew and did not tell her she will be mad at you.

[AllThatIsLeft]

That's not true, your mother won't be mad at you for not telling her... It has nothing to do with you personally.

You owe to talk to your dad, and tell him you know about him and this "Mary"... You got to be calm and state the facts as they are.

If your father has any sense in him, he'll cut off ties with this woman. I don't think he "wants" to destroy your family.
Do not tell your mother anything, What you don't know, doesn't hurt you, and it's your dad's duty to tell her what he's done.

If you see him acting with a dismissive tone like you are a child and don't know anything about life.

Tell him you know what you saw and that you are very disappoint in him.

(Yes that works both ways, parents even more so hate disappointing their children)

[Ryhanna]

That's not true, your mother won't be mad at you for not telling her... It has nothing to do with you personally.

You owe to talk to your dad, and tell him you know about him and this "Mary"... You got to be calm and state the facts as they are.

If your father has any sense in him, he'll cut off ties with this woman. I don't think he "wants" to destroy your family.
Do not tell your mother anything, What you don't know, doesn't hurt you, and it's your dad's duty to tell her what he's done.

If you see him acting with a dismissive tone like you are a child and don't know anything about life.

Tell him you know what you saw and that you are very disappoint in him.

(Yes that works both ways, parents even more so hate disappointing their children)

Thank you. I will do that, thank you so much for that advice.

[boy.on.laptop]

Make sure you do it sooner rather than later, I had the exact same thing with my dad. It was difficult but trust me it will be harder for him then it will be for you. Don't let him bully you into anything but at the same time don't take too much responsibility at the end of the day it is between your parents not you.

[diamond jetstream]

tell her because he doesnt love her if hes cheating on her

[Sapphire]

Tbh it has nothing to do with you.
Tell him you know if you want but doing any more than that is over stepping the mark.

[diamond jetstream]

no its not it going behind her back even more you should just tell it like it is and ride it out

[Sapphire]

The state of their relationship is a matter for them to deal with. Their children have no right to meddle in that, especially when said children aren't even halfway through their teenage years.

[diamond jetstream]

ok your right but they have to work it out as a family everyone needs to be included for a working relashionship between parents and children.thats beside the fact that if u put yourself in their shoes then you will see that you would probably do something similar

[Sapphire]

I have been in a similar position to the OP.

[diamond jetstream]

well then you would know that him discluding himself is the wrong way to go about solving the issue at hand

[Sapphire]

No, the best way to deal with it is not to get involved.

[diamond jetstream]

yeah because like cancer ignoring it wont make it spread it will cure it.watevs ive said all i can thinkof i hope i helped you with your problem and i hope it all goes well.goodluck:)

[Sapphire]

You're comparing a parent having an affair with cancer? That's truly messed up.

Anyway, it isn't up to the children to solve the parents problems. No good comes of it.

[Modus Operandi]

I have to agree with Carole on this. The OP really shouldn't meddle in his parent's business. It's like having a parent tell a girlfriend(or boyfriend, as the case may be)that they're being cheated on.

[zander]

You're comparing a parent having an affair with cancer? That's truly messed up.

Anyway, it isn't up to the children to solve the parents problems. No good comes of it.
sorry but i totally agree with comparing what his dad did to cancer. their family is like a body of people a group and when you have an affair it is like a cancer coming into that family and eating away at healthy relationships. and if you ever read any books on family relationships you would see where other people have said the same thing. this is not only about Their relationship (the parents) it is about their family relationships. what thier parents do and how the react to each other affects the kids in a family big time. wake up if you think it is just about the parents, it is not, its about hte family

[Tiberius]

Bump from 2009 :locked: