Strange?

[Discomposure]

Something strange happened tonight and I just wondered if it happened to anyone else or if you all just think it's strange.

I was just stood in my room, and I went all dizzy... I fell against my mirror and it smashed all over and a bit of it was like stuck in my leg. Obviously because of the noise my mum and brothers came to see what had happened... after I pulled the bit out blood started just pouring out (it was quite deep in) Suddenly I became very aware of the fact that people could see me bleeding and I just started telling them all to go away and that I was fine. I felt really ashamed that, (although it was an accident) everyone could see. I very quickly became all annoyed and was shouting at them all to go. I'm guessing it's because I do self-harm and they all know that I do. Just wondered if anyone felt like this? I sorta feel bad now cos although it was an accident I like it, and I like the big cut I've got there now, is this just wierd or not about the feeling ?

[2D]

I've had that happen. Usually when I stand up. Because for some reason when I stand up I sometimes forget to breathe. hahaha so I get all lightheaded and everything blacks out. I don't usually fall down though. And sometimes it's happened randomly.

[Discomposure]

I've had that happen. Usually when I stand up. Because for some reason when I stand up I sometimes forget to breathe. hahaha so I get all lightheaded and everything blacks out. I don't usually fall down though. And sometimes it's happened randomly.

Lol I did mean about the way i felt but yeah i dunno why i went all dizzy lol :p

[MadManWithaBox]

I think its blood rushing to the head when you stand up too fast(I might be completely wrong by the way), cos I get it sometimes, i just stand up too quickly, and I get all dizzy and fall over. No its not unsual to feel that way its same feeling you'd get if you'd done it deliberately it was just a bit more public. not unusal

[2D]

Oh. My bad. hahaha Maybe since people know that you do it. You don't want them thinking that you did that on purpose. If that makes sense.

[Discomposure]

Oh. My bad. hahaha Maybe since people know that you do it. You don't want them thinking that you did that on purpose. If that makes sense.

I know what you mean, thanks Jeff.

[Mikey]

Probably due to the blood or pain. I've never cut but had an ex who did it obsesevily.

[2D]

Probably due to the blood or pain. I've never cut but had an ex who did it obsesevily.

I think you read it wrong.

[Discomposure]

Maybe i haven't made it as clear,

I wondered if anybody else ever felt ashamed that people had seen them.. bleed. Does that make sense in anyway?

[2D]

I haven't. Yet. But I could easily see how you would feel that way.

[RaeNose]

Yeah.
It was something stupid, I just had a paper cut. I was tending to it just as I would any of my other cuts, then I asked to get a band aid from the teacher. It wasn't as severe as yours, but it's like you can just see everyone watching and boring their eyes into you. It's like they know what you're thinking.
Oh, and the dizziness and falling is due to super low blood pressure. That happens to me all the time. I went in to give blood and my blood pressure avgerages 104/60.

[MadManWithaBox]

well a few months before i left my old school at the start of 2009, i fell over on the concrete outside the school building and badly re-opened one of my cuts so that their was loads of blood, and i didn't want anyone looking at me, or the bleeding, cos although id tripped it felt like, the same as if id done it on purpose and ran away. so i knwo what you mean

[dizzydinosaur]

Suddenly I became very aware of the fact that people could see me bleeding and I just started telling them all to go away and that I was fine. I felt really ashamed that, (although it was an accident) everyone could see. I very quickly became all annoyed and was shouting at them all to go. I'm guessing it's because I do self-harm and they all know that I do. Just wondered if anyone felt like this? I sorta feel bad now cos although it was an accident I like it, and I like the big cut I've got there now, is this just weird or not about the feeling ?

The fact that you like it even though there was no deliberate pain intended, and that you didn't want people to SEE you bleeding shows that it's likely that you get your release from the sight of blood pouring from you, rather than the actual pain. If it was the pain you would have more likely said you didn't want them to see you were in pain. If you ever want to stop then I'd bear this in mind coz most people go about stopping in the completely wrong way, they don't realise what it is that they like about cutting, so they try all the wrong techniques. Remember though I might be wrong so don't take it as definite :)

I think that made sense :)