Wave of Drama

[triplethreat40]

i just don't know what to do.
my best friend goes through these insanely sad spells, and i have no idea how to make her feel better. This one now is because she feels like no one wants her, and that she is worthless. because of me. she says she's jealous of me, and how i'm "more pretty, social, better at everything " etc. also for homecoming i said i might go with a date, or with the girls, but would it seem like i was blowing them off if i went with a guy, and she freaked out about how her best friend would rather hang out with somebody else, and how she won't go to the dance because she doesn't want to be surrounded by hundreds of reminders of how she's "not good enough", or "not worth it". she gets so hung up about how she doesn't have a boyfriend, but then she won't talk to guys.
I really want to help her feel better, but i just don't know how. but i gotta say i'm close to sick of all these self doubt spells. if she doesn't believe in herself first, nobody else will, and trying to help her on top of dealing with myself is tearing me apart. I know that sound selfish, but i just can't do this anymore.

i'm also scared that if she does something to herself, it will be my fault. She's in a horrible rut, and it's strikingly similar to hell year's rut, in which things nearly got irreversable (i was not directly involved, but i know the story).

I just have no idea what to do.

[Triceratops]

You are trying really hard to do all you possibly can for your friend which is great. This isn't your fault, the main problem here is that she isn't helping herself. She is suffering from a low self esteem, lack of confidence and is feeling worthless, it's going to be incredibly tough trying to get her to turn her head round. She may even be doing this for the attention. Have any traumatic experiences or certain issues occured in her life that may have triggered these emotions she has?

She sounds quite a jealous person. If you want to go with a guy then you should do so. It's not exactly rare when a girl goes along with a guy to homecoming. Even though it can be little disappointing when a close friend has their hearts set on going somewhere with another close friend and it results in something different, it's just one of those typical situations in life we have to shrug off and deal with. When she freaks out because you'd rather go with someone else instead of her this determines how insecure and clingy she appears to be. You need to keep on ensuring her how she's your best friend and that she's special and that you do care for her.

If this continues to prove far too much for you to cope with then I really think you should try talking to someone else about your best friend. Looking after her is creating way too much stress and troubles for yourself and could also tear you apart in the process. You aren't being selfish, dealing with her is getting way too intense for you and this matter should be dealt with someone who has enough experience, patience and sanity to help her such as a family member or a counselor. Nothing here is your fault.