What next?

[MichaelAdams1993]

Ok, for the past three years or so I have considered myself to be gay. I have not however told anyone, but plan to start before I graduate (I am a sophomore this year). However, I don't think it would be neccessary for me to come out completely in order to find a boyfriend. Is it? I would really like to find one but don't really know where to start. I tried finding local gay teens online but haven't had any success. I want to meet someone that I would be able to communicate with other then online so I don't know that finding them from just any site really works. I seriously need some help here because I don't know what to do without completely revealing what is now my biggest secret. Also, if I was to come out at school then my home life would know as well since my mom is a teacher at a neighboring high school and knows most of the people working at mine. Plus, this year I will have an 8th grade step-brother and my dad is the last one I want to know (serious christian and WAY homophobic). So now you see my problem. Help please. Any and all advice is welcom, just please try and be nice, I don't want to be chewed out.

[Mr. Awesome]

In this situation you need to follow your heart. Only you know if you are ready to let people know your secret.

The only advice i can give you is to be true to yourself, dont be someone your not because you are afraid of what people will think of you. Revealing your secret will reveal your true friends who wont care about your sexuality.

And as for your dad stuff him. If he really cares about you, he will not care about your sexual orientation.

Good Luck with your decision. Im here to help. Im sorry if i was a little to harsh, but i believe that people should stand up for themselves and their believes

[MichaelAdams1993]

I opologize about any misunderstanding but my question was not about coming out, although I do appreciate the advice. My true question was: How do I go about finding a date/boyfriend now that I am ready. At some point I would make this public but for now I would prefer a way to do this without outing myself. I know, tough question but I desperatly need answers.

Thanks so much.

[tripolar]

I opologize about any misunderstanding but my question was not about coming out, although I do appreciate the advice. My true question was: How do I go about finding a date/boyfriend now that I am ready. At some point I would make this public but for now I would prefer a way to do this without outing myself. I know, tough question but I desperatly need answers.

Thanks so much.

Finding a boyfriend without being out will be hard. You can, maybe talk to other gay or bi dudes and see if there interested, and you can talk to the people you think are gay and be friends, then see if they would go out and keep it secret.

[bowlheadhere]

Have you tried talking to some of the gay/bi people at your school? Most of them (well, the ones I know) are actually really nice and easy to get along with. I bet their is at least one that you can find and will end up liking. Even if you do not find someone that would be a good boyfriend for you, you will most likely make some really good friends, I know I have. :) Who knows... you may become really good friends, at which point you could tell him your true feelings and see if he feels the same way.

If not, there is no reason to really rush into things. You have a lifetime to find love and you should just live it to the fullest and keep your eyes open.