Sheekthief
August 28th, 2009, 03:29 PM
Well, first off, let me introduce myself.
My name is Zack Gardiner, I'm 17 almost 18 born on October 27, 1991. I live in Nova Scotia, Canada. I wasn't always as negative about myself as i appear. So here goes nothing i guess?
i'm not very good at typing my problems so that it's getting it's full point detail out, so some stuff here is really worse :(
PARENTAL Issues ::
- My parents are divorced, and i am afraid that my step dad might not live long enough to see me graduate from school this year, I'm not gonna hide it from you all, I'm 17 almost 18 and i still get childish issues. My step dad has had a Triple bypass heart surgery, and he nearly died.. he is now supposed to permanently stay off junk food well, almost permanently, but he hasn't changed his eating habits since the surgery. me, my older brother, and older sister even my mother have tried to talk sense into him but he just doesn't listen, and it's breaking my heart because my step dad is my real dad.
- My Real dad i cannot see because when my mom was dating my real dad they obviously had a break up and i don't know which or who put the restraining order on who, but i cannot see or visit my real father because of the restraining order. It was something stupid too, because i have education and smarts while my dads new kids have life issues and lack of education, seems fucked to me.
- In desperate acts of me trying to figure out who my parents are and why they are acting all so strange and different around me, is suspicious.. I can't figure out why my parents can't just get along, My mom is a heavy alcoholic & she refuses to admit it, but.. since the break up of my step dad, my mom has gotten basically POOR, my step dad ended up getting fucked over by health problems, but he has a life deep down through his pain, he was serving his country in the military for almost 30 years. It's not just mother father issues either, My mom is a poor drunk, & she is almost hated by my nanny & i really would rather not get into that..
- Lets not forget my loss of my grandfather, i lost him the day before my birthday October 26th, the hospital in Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada took him off life support right after my step fathers birthday, i couldn't see my grandpa live and breahte before his death, i was to busy on the highway getting to his funeral, looking at the past we had together in pictures gives me flashbacks and cold shivers through my body, He died falling off something at work bumping the back of his head on cement, falling into a coma.. I miss him, & it makes me full of rage to not get to see him anymore
- Basically from what you've read.. I barely have parental or family support behind me, never have, and never will, sad part is.. all this shit for a family history to me, has me thinking i'll be just as fucked up as whats on my mind.
My OWN Issues ::
- It's been hard for me living a lie, hiding behind something well, someone i'm not. For the longest time ever i built a online profile page here on MySpace named "Seth Patriquin" he never did exist as his own soul, he was me personally. His online personality, identity, and everything he said and did was all me, I can't cope with living with who i am, sometimes i think i'm a phyco or a future criminal.. I have a mind for terrorism and destruction, so i could see it, but it's probably from everything that has happened in my life, I suffer from a lot of family loss & depression, i just can't even go on with how i feel, no one will read this or even understand me, but basically.. I'm trying to re build a life i've always wished for through Role Playing on here. & i'm sorry for fucking up to everyone, I'm just.. fucked.
My name is Zack Gardiner, I'm 17 almost 18 born on October 27, 1991. I live in Nova Scotia, Canada. I wasn't always as negative about myself as i appear. So here goes nothing i guess?
i'm not very good at typing my problems so that it's getting it's full point detail out, so some stuff here is really worse :(
PARENTAL Issues ::
- My parents are divorced, and i am afraid that my step dad might not live long enough to see me graduate from school this year, I'm not gonna hide it from you all, I'm 17 almost 18 and i still get childish issues. My step dad has had a Triple bypass heart surgery, and he nearly died.. he is now supposed to permanently stay off junk food well, almost permanently, but he hasn't changed his eating habits since the surgery. me, my older brother, and older sister even my mother have tried to talk sense into him but he just doesn't listen, and it's breaking my heart because my step dad is my real dad.
- My Real dad i cannot see because when my mom was dating my real dad they obviously had a break up and i don't know which or who put the restraining order on who, but i cannot see or visit my real father because of the restraining order. It was something stupid too, because i have education and smarts while my dads new kids have life issues and lack of education, seems fucked to me.
- In desperate acts of me trying to figure out who my parents are and why they are acting all so strange and different around me, is suspicious.. I can't figure out why my parents can't just get along, My mom is a heavy alcoholic & she refuses to admit it, but.. since the break up of my step dad, my mom has gotten basically POOR, my step dad ended up getting fucked over by health problems, but he has a life deep down through his pain, he was serving his country in the military for almost 30 years. It's not just mother father issues either, My mom is a poor drunk, & she is almost hated by my nanny & i really would rather not get into that..
- Lets not forget my loss of my grandfather, i lost him the day before my birthday October 26th, the hospital in Sydney, Nova Scotia, Canada took him off life support right after my step fathers birthday, i couldn't see my grandpa live and breahte before his death, i was to busy on the highway getting to his funeral, looking at the past we had together in pictures gives me flashbacks and cold shivers through my body, He died falling off something at work bumping the back of his head on cement, falling into a coma.. I miss him, & it makes me full of rage to not get to see him anymore
- Basically from what you've read.. I barely have parental or family support behind me, never have, and never will, sad part is.. all this shit for a family history to me, has me thinking i'll be just as fucked up as whats on my mind.
My OWN Issues ::
- It's been hard for me living a lie, hiding behind something well, someone i'm not. For the longest time ever i built a online profile page here on MySpace named "Seth Patriquin" he never did exist as his own soul, he was me personally. His online personality, identity, and everything he said and did was all me, I can't cope with living with who i am, sometimes i think i'm a phyco or a future criminal.. I have a mind for terrorism and destruction, so i could see it, but it's probably from everything that has happened in my life, I suffer from a lot of family loss & depression, i just can't even go on with how i feel, no one will read this or even understand me, but basically.. I'm trying to re build a life i've always wished for through Role Playing on here. & i'm sorry for fucking up to everyone, I'm just.. fucked.