too old for me??

[justashygirl]

first of all, i'm new here, but i've read some of the threads and it seems like a lot of people are very helpful.

I'm 16 and theres this guy I work with that I really like. We met maybe 4 weeks ago and we get along really well. He's really funny (which is big for me), hes nice to everyone, and well, all the girls think hes hot lol. Anyways, about 3 weeks ago we started talking more, kinda flirting at work, then we added each other to msn and facebook, then we started texting, and we pretty much talk everyday. We've now hung out a few times outside of work, and we've kissed. I'm really falling for him, and I'm pretty sure he likes me as well. But heres the problem....he's 23. I know thats a huuuuge age difference. But we really do get along great, and its very surprising I know, but we have a lot in common and our personalities are very alike. A few of my best friends that know whats going on have told me to go for it, but I wanted to get a wider viewpoint. Anyone with helpful points or suggestions would be appreciated. All opinions are welcome as long as they are thought out and not mean. Thank you in advance....

[DarkWingedAngel]

Well you know that saying "age is just a number" well I think, even tho it might be weird to other people, if he really likes you and you really like him and as long as he respects your space when it comes to certain things then go for it.

[tripolar]

He is too old, and you need to be careful because he is older and your a minor which may get him into trouble.

If you like him and you trust him go for it, but just to let you know some people will not like this.

[Archer600]

He is way too old for u be good friends and stuff but seriouslynothing good is gonna come of that

[Gumleaf]

7 years is a big difference. i'm not telling you not to go ahead with it, but i do think you need to think about things very carefully. if you started dating things would be weird. he would have all his older friends, you would have your friends. just that alone would put a wedge between you 2. you would be in high school i imagine, he would be off doing other things. sometimes as much as 2 people like eachother, it just can't happen. but if you think you can jump all the hurdles, then go for it, but just think about it carefully first.

[AllThatIsLeft]

Legally this is wrong. Morally ? I've seen worse.
How serious are you about this? This is risky for him, not you.
Age is just a number, but he at 23 has a lot more experience, and will be expecting other things. Are you ready to give him that, and will you regret it if you do?

I'll be forward... It's easy to say "he seduced me, I didn't want to do it" when the moment is passed and hormones arent raging.

[chairy]

you know my friend is 24 n he got a gf n she's 17 it is really awesome they both love each other n they're so happy !
he used to pick her up from school.. n take her out mostly everyday n sleep over her house sumtimes, we have sum BBQ parties n it's really gr8 !
n i have another friend he's jst 14 n he can speak 3 languges n he knows how to deal with life !
n i have another friend she's like 24 but she doesn't know the differences between q & p

look ages don't really matter that's wat i wanna say by that .... if he cares bout u n loves u that's important, plus a month it's been now so u really know him enough to be in a realtionship with him, u know the right thing to do i'm sure, jst dun look @ the numbers

[sebbie]

I always think it is weird if a older person wants to date someone who is so much younger than themselves. You will both have different mindsets, maturity levels etc.

My own personal opinion is to be friends with this guy and nothing else. It is a huge age difference and it may cause problems.

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagg]

I think that you should go for it if you really truly believe it will work. As GumLeaf said, think about it carefully and then if you are certain that you really wanna do this then go ahead. Just like in every relationship there's a huge chance that it could go wrong. Age really is just a number. (but the legal part is something to be aware of)

[AllThatIsLeft]

n i have another friend she's like 24 but she doesn't know the differences between q & p



not to be rude, but dyslexia has nothing to do with maturity.

[justashygirl]

Thank you for all of the replies so far. I just wanted to add a few things. I live in Canada so legally it is not wrong, the age of consent is 16 here. Also, my last bf was 19. I know 7 years is a lot more than 3, but I have dated someone older. To be honest, I really like him and any concern I might have hasn't stopped me from hanging out with him, so maybe I've already made up my mind. But I still look forward to hearing more opinions.

[AllThatIsLeft]

Um I live in Canada, and you are still underage. Technically you can only be with some two years older than you, until you are 18 which then you become legally an adult in the matter.

[justashygirl]

Actually thats not true. Someone who is 14 or 15 can consent with a partner who is up to 5 years older. Anyone who is 16 or older can consent to sexual activity with an adult, unless they are 16 or 17 and the adult is in a position of trust or authority. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

[AllThatIsLeft]

The "position of trust under 18" anti-exploitation rules was expanded in 2005 by Bill C-2 where a judge may choose to term a situation to be sexual exploitation based on the age of the younger party, age difference, evolution of the relationship (how it developed, e.g.: quickly and secretly over the Internet), the control or influence over the young person (degree of control or influence the other person had over the young person). This passed before the 2008 amendments, and they were not repealed so they are still in effect and can apply towards adults in these situations with young persons over the age of consent and under 18 (16-17).

Same source.

[justashygirl]

Yes I did read that part, however that still does not make it illegal for him and I

[AllThatIsLeft]

Maybe so. but if he were to get in trouble... it would be very damaging to him... your barely legal, and its an age gap of 7 year...

I've seen worse, but just be warned that what you may want is probably very different from what he wants.

[Darkness]

My grandmother was your age when she married my grandfather who was 25 then. Age is nothing just a number, he'll die sooner than you that's all, oh and he can buy drinks, It doesn't really matter beyond that.

[sebbie]

I don't mean any disrespect when I say this:

Thing that always concerns with relationships like this is he is an adult and you at the end of the day are a child. His intentions may be all nice but it always seems weird to me. As an adult would you want to in a relationship with a child? But I suppose its each to your own. Just be careful whatever choices you make also keep your parents in the know and make sure he is not just trying to take advantage of you even if you are "legal"

[JackOfClubs]

Yes, 'age is just a number,' but I think 7 years is a bit big of a gap. Think about it like this, you were in the first grade when he was in the eighth grade. I would go for someone around my own age.

[Contra]

Age is just a number, as everybody said here, but in a relationship between a teen and an adult, age is very important. I don't think you or the guy your talking about want to get in trouble...
But if you're sure you love him and that doesn't break the law, then carry on!

[themanwhoneverwould]

Why is it illegal, i thought to have a sexual relationship you had to be 16. SO if they are 16 then why is it now allowed to date an older guy?

[Eagle1]

Well you know that saying "age is just a number" well I think, even tho it might be weird to other people, if he really likes you and you really like him and as long as he respects your space when it comes to certain things then go for it.

Agreed:yes:

[SockzInABox]

i literally JUST got back from a wedding fro my cousin.
she is 19 and she married a 26 year old and they are madly in love..
so i say go for it..just know it might get him in trouble with the law.

[Mr. Awesome]

Im going to say yes he is too old for you

I generally play by the 2 year rule

[Viral Death]

Age is a number! I would wait till your over the teen age so you and him dont get in trouble

[kenoloor]

He is too old, and you need to be careful because he is older and your a minor which may get him into trouble.

If you like him and you trust him go for it, but just to let you know some people will not like this.

I agree with this. It is a big age difference and that could be an issue for him, but on the other hand who are we to tell you that you can't love someone who's older? Just be careful. Plus the fact, as tripolar has already stated, this may be frowned upon by other people (including, potentially, your parents), so be aware of that, too.

[tomato]

hi!

i have the same problem! i like a man who is 5 years older than me. but the age is a number and this number don't say anything about a person. i know a lot of people who are older than me and everyone is diffrent..

the personality is important and when the chemistry is right beetween you and him is all right...

that's my opinion. the love is strange.

[Hyper]

Yes he is

And the fact that your asking the question confirms it even more.

[Viral Death]

Age is just a number

[Dibzy-Time]

Me and my partner have a 7 year age difrence. No one cares age i just a number

[OhHeyItsTy]

My last relationship was like that, and honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. It's not an extreme age difference.

[kyle95]

don't do it no matter how tempting it seems. your mentalities are different. he should know better, the fact that he hasn't said anything to you first is indicative. if he truly cares, he would have told you to slow down, refused any physical contact, and gave you time and space to mature. Perhaps once you're in college and you're still in touch, you may do as you please as a more mature adult.

[Monoxide]

well um.. This is ILLEGAL. But if you really TRUST him then it's up to you.

Just be careful.

[Shalom]

My thoughts, it is a large difference but if you think about it many people are years apart. My parents were 7 years apart. You just have to make sure you are safe with him, and possibly hide from your parents/guardians! Lol. I know i'd date someone that old but secretly, I'd be killed if found out. Just remember love is love and there are plenty of fish in the sea, you are still young.

[alex95]

yeah age is just a number but thats one hell of a gap 7years.....well my sister in law and my brother has a 8year gap so it can work out lol

[onlinedater143]

You know that he likes you and you like him also so why are you thinking of your big age difference?


He makes you happy, he makes you laugh...


then...

Forget about the big age gap (that was numbers only) consider your feelings and happiness. Don't let that age gap be the "gap" between you and a beautiful love story.