Friend wants to join VT

[YesterdaysNews]

so uh this may sound like a weird problem but my friend wants to join VT... and I'm not quite sure I'm ready for her to be reading some of my posts. I've told her all the great advice I've gotten and people I've met and what not and she decided that she wanted in on the action...
Its mainly the self harm posts that I'm worried about. yes she DOES know that I self harm, but not to what extent. she hasn't seen my cuts/scars ever (that I know of) and I think she thinks I only self harm in one area. I'm actually really confused... I do want her to join in a way... but then again I don't... am I being selfish?
I feel horrible for saying this...

[diamond jetstream]

i see two options
1 change your username till your ready for her to find out
2 admit everything to her shell understand if she is your friend;)

[YesterdaysNews]

she doesnt know my username but I'm pretty sure she could figure out who I am, it seems that theres only one amanda around...
and admiting EVERYTHING would be extremely difficult for me...

[diamond jetstream]

well maybe you could admit a few things slowly and see if she understands because she will join sooner or later and if you tell her now it will save an awkward moment down the track

[YesterdaysNews]

I dont know... maybe it is better that she joins, so I dont exactly have to tell her...
GAH I'm so confused.

[diamond jetstream]

it might be better for her to discover it then on her own and if she is a good friend then she will stick by you.sorry if my advice isnt getting you anywhere but i can say that i dont know you but already i feel sympathy for your dillema and your friend who has known you for ages is bound to care heaps and be a shoulder for you to cry on;)

[The Batman]

Edit out the real personal stuff and just watch what you say until you are comfortable enough to freely talk again.

[YesterdaysNews]

I dont really know whats making me not want her to join... its not that I mind that she reads the personal stuff exacly but its what I think she'll think of me...
and maybe its... I don't even know...
ugh I'm just being selfish, sorry everyone

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

You're not being selfish. :hug: You feel like VT is a place where you don't have to worry about your friends or family finding this stuff out, and if your friend joins you may feel like you can't talk freely anymore. As Thomas said, you can always edit out the more personal things and as you get used to her being around you may be more comfortable sharing those things with her.

If you decide that you don't want to risk it, talk with your friend about it. Tell her it's not that you're trying to keep secrets from her, but that VT is a place where you can say things without risk of being judged by the people close to you. If you then decide, together, that she's still going to join, just ask her to be respectful of that. If she finds things you haven't told her, it's simply because you didn't want to share them. You're allowed to not tell her everything, as long as it's not something that would harm your friendship by holding back.

[diamond jetstream]

i agree with kaleidescope eyes but if you do that then youll end up felling bad because youll still be hiding it from her and friendships need to be honest:)

[YesterdaysNews]

thank you guys for your help :)
I think I'm just going to let it be.
if she reads something, she reads something, nothing really I can do about it.
but I know she'll confront me about something important so...

[diamond jetstream]

cool im glad you sorted it out

[Sanctuary94]

My best friend considered joining last week. what I told her was that if she joined to stay away from my posts, my profile, and especially the boys puberty section. (I've done some surveys) She decided not to join so she wouldn't risk seeing information about me she didn't want to know. :)

[Donkey]

You trust her, right? It's good to have someone close to that you can discuss personal things with, so let her.

[YesterdaysNews]

yes I do trust her. I dont really think shed say anything unless it was life threatening... she knows when to say things and when not to...

[Modus Operandi]

As some people have said before, if she really is your friend, she won't judge you by your actions.

Also, try not to be too concerned. I have had times where I have been like this, so sure that something would happen, berating myself for letting this happen, that I became paranoid. And then nothing happened. I am NOT trying to be rude in any way, but this could be what you're going through now.

[YesterdaysNews]

As some people have said before, if she really is your friend, she won't judge you by your actions.

Also, try not to be too concerned. I have had times where I have been like this, so sure that something would happen, berating myself for letting this happen, that I became paranoid. And then nothing happened. I am NOT trying to be rude in any way, but this could be what you're going through now.

no you're not being rude or anything, I understand what you mean and I think you're right. I get very paranoid over silly little things

[Mikey]

As some people have said before, if she really is your friend, she won't judge you by your actions.

Also, try not to be too concerned. I have had times where I have been like this, so sure that something would happen, berating myself for letting this happen, that I became paranoid. And then nothing happened. I am NOT trying to be rude in any way, but this could be what you're going through now.

I gave you an internet.

And btw if they want to join let them. They are bound to find out some secrets of yours and you can find out some of theirs. Just don't tell them your username.

[Eagle1]

i see two options
1 change your username till your ready for her to find out
2 admit everything to her shell understand if she is your friend;)

Agreed:yes: if she is truly your friend she will understand

[Contra]

I don't believe you're being selfish, I understand what you're going through, although I don't have any friend wanting to join, I would be terrified if any one of them did, because I don't share any of the things I posted here about me!
If you're really feeling bad about it, then let her join and don't tell your username, or you share your problems with her personally. If not, you could just let it go, maybe she'll forget it... Hope I was helpful! :)