do i really wonna try again????

[heart broken]

hey my names mary & im new here & ive got a problem.
i was dating this guy for 3 1/2 years he was my first true love and this might be a little forward but... my first also. he even proposed to me & then one night he calles me and says " mary i dont love u anymore & i havent loved u for a while, so i just want u 2 know its over." and he left me for a nother girl that afterwards i found out he had been with her for the passed 7 months that we were together. after he left i went right back in to once again a deep depression. well that was 6 months ago and recantly i met this really sweet guy i mean he always makes time just to ask if im ok and if i need anything, he can always make me laugh, and no matter what i have to say he always listins. and as u can tell i kindda got a crush but after that last brake up its like i cant help but hold back, im just so afrade of getting hurt again, part of me just wants to get back out there. but i really dont know how. do i just try and forget the first traggic heartbreake?? or do i keep holding back??

[Sage]

You don't forget your heartbreak, you just accept that the past it the past and cannot be changed. Your first experience may not have ended well but before breaking up with you, I'm sure you and your first boyfriend had a lot of swell times together, and it's more than worth it to try and relive those feelings and even feel brand new ones. No relationship is perfect, but in reality, all the positive things you've ever known in your life would be meaningless if you had never experienced anything bad.

tl;dr: Go for it.

[Aves]

Exactly what Deschain said, You accept the past, and get back in the game

[heart broken]

this might be a stupid question, but how can i just go for it? i mean my x is everywhere, i work with him, he lives right up the street, hes always driven by my house. and the entire time we were together, he never once laid a finger on me, and the other night he came by and stated saying how he was so sorry, but mind u hes still with her, and i told him that i couldn't deal with his childish crap anymore and that i found somone new and we really got into a fist fight. and this new guy that i like saw my face the next day and went after him. and like i said this new guy is everything you could ask for in a man but how can i be sure hes not just after well, you know... sex???

[sam i am]

U won't know if u try ok like if u never dated ur ex u would of probably never new what first love is...just give it a shot and if he is just after sex then thats how it is but i don't that he is after what u told me about him

[Gumleaf]

well unfortunately i have been in a similar situation as you. got dumped by a long term girlfriend, later found out she had been cheating on me for at least a couple of months before hand. and now i still see her at least twice a week minimum and the hurt and memories still lingure. but guess what? i found a new girl, one who understands me, one who loves me and one who i enjoy the most amazing relationship with. and none of that would have happened if i didn't put my feelings on the line.

i think you should accept whats happened in the past and move on. i'm not saying for one minute that it is easy, but what i am saying is that it is not healthy for you to question every relationship opportunity that comes along because you are scared of having to deal with that sort of break up again. sometimes a total asshole like him gives all guys a bad name, but you have to remember not all guys are the same and if one makes you happy, then i think you should give them a chance.

from what you have said this guy you talk about sounds like someone who actually cares for you and wants to make you happy, and you deserve to be happy which is why i think you should take that chance. if you give up on the chance of a relationship with him you might regret it later on and wonder forever how it might have gone. sometimes in life we have to put our heart on the line, even if it is still hurting to fulfill the hole that is left in it from last time. i hope it alls works out for you mary.

[heart broken]

okay me and the "new guy" are suposed to hang out tomorrow so should i just ask him out or wait and see if he ask me first??

but there is an age factor here too. im 18 and hes only 15...




and thank you guys so much you've really given me the courage to let go of the past and hope better for the future.

[Gumleaf]

okay me and the "new guy" are suposed to hang out tomorrow so should i just ask him out or wait and see if he ask me first??

but there is an age factor here too. im 18 and hes only 15...




and thank you guys so much you've really given me the courage to let go of the past and hope better for the future.

well, with the age thing some people say "age is just a number" and others are freaked by it. but if you think you are both at a similar maturity level and emotionally you are in the sma eplace, then age shouldn't be an issue. but if you have doubts, then i would say not to ask him out and be cautious if he asks you out.

with the age thing aside, i think you should take as much time as you can to get to know him and let your non romantic relationship grow. if he asks you out, then great. but don't put pressure on yourself to ask him out unless you feel you are ready too and really want to. good luck mary, i hope it all works out nicely for you. :)

[heart broken]

i honestly do beleive we're at the same level of maturity and emotionally, and i say new guy but we've know each other for a long time. its just that lately we do everything together and he admitted to me that he has feelings for me and he knows i have feelings for him. and he said that he would wait for me, and i didn't know what he ment but he said " i'll wait as long as it takes, for you to get over the past and hopefully i can be more than a friend in your future." how sweet is that.
and how should i tell him that i just wanna be friends for a while and then see where it leads? cause i really dont want to hurt him but i dont know if im 100 percent ready for a relationship just yet.

[Gumleaf]

well he said he is willing to wait for you. part of the process for getting over the past is figuring out when the right time is to start a new relationship. i don't think you would be hurting him, you just need to be truthful with him. its not like you are rejecting him, you are just saying you need some time to figure out things within yourself. it seems to me that you really have a strong connection and that it would only be a confidence thing for you. the most important thing is not to jump in until you are ready, but also don't let the past hold you back from something very special in the future.

[heart broken]

thanks. i'll talk to him tomorrow, and let him know that i really love our friendship and maybe someday it can be more but for now all i really want is to continue to be good friends.

thanks for all your help!!!!:D

[Gumleaf]

no worries mary. i hope it all works out wonderfully for you and him. :)

[AllThatIsLeft]

You have made a great step.
You'll see how soon and by its own terms you will begin to be ready for new love.

your first relationship failed? no reason to give up.
Just enjoy the moment you are in, and what has passed will stay behind.
time to move for newer and better things.

this new guy is willing to wait for you, but dont keep him too long, he has feelings too. :) good luck!

[heart broken]

when i do get ready, how can i let him know that without being so forward and just saying "hey im ready for a relationship" ?

[AllThatIsLeft]

It will come naturally. Things will evolve, and you won't even realize it.
There isn't a "one" step. You will slowly feel it coming to you, and it will be noticeable.

[heart broken]

thanks, and i really hope it happends soon. lol

[Luxurious5]

i honestly do beleive we're at the same level of maturity and emotionally, and i say new guy but we've know each other for a long time. its just that lately we do everything together and he admitted to me that he has feelings for me and he knows i have feelings for him. and he said that he would wait for me, and i didn't know what he ment but he said " i'll wait as long as it takes, for you to get over the past and hopefully i can be more than a friend in your future." how sweet is that.
and how should i tell him that i just wanna be friends for a while and then see where it leads? cause i really dont want to hurt him but i dont know if im 100 percent ready for a relationship just yet.

i think wut he ment by "i'll wait as long as it takes, for you to get over the past and hopefully i can be more than a friend in your future" is that he noe wut the age diffrence is or he doenst want u to rush into a relashionship your not ready for,any way he seems real sweet i think u should give him a chance,Just remember when u get stabbed in the back by an ex the wound heels but the scar is always there.I hope i helped

p.s "the fact that he went after your ex and opend a can of woop ass lol, i think u really should give him a chance" And can i verify on sumthing by "try again" r u talking sex or just the relationship part?

[heart broken]

NO!!! lol. just relationship. he says he really likes me and like i said he really doesn't act his age, he seems so muture. its like he understands what im going through, and that i might not be ready. hes not trying to rush me, and i'll be honest, i dont really think that highly of myself, but he does think highly of me. if i say anything bad about myself, even just jokeingly he gets mad. lol. and like kindda gets on to me about it,"dont say that sh**, u are very pretty." or " hush, you are not fat, quit saying that." heck my ex always called me fat, and ugly, so thats what im used to hearing, not oh your so beautiful.

[Joshm5816]

I know how you feel. (In a way) I also felt the pain of a breakup. At least you're ready to get on out there. I've waited so far now for 2 years. I suggest you get on out there. Show that other guy that you are better then him. And who knows, maybe this guy is the one. I really hope you make out ok. And if you're not ready then don't do it. All I can say is do whatever you feel is best.

[heart broken]

this might sound confuseing, but i know what i feel is best but im not sure what would be best for me. to take this chance or to continue to be singal? yeah im happy just being on my own, but i really like this guy... i guess its a chance im just gonna have to take. like you said you never know.