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boy.on.laptop
August 24th, 2009, 11:17 PM
Ok although this may seem pathetic to some compared to other problems out there it is still a problem and its my problem. Ok this is long and complicated and have changed the names:

Sally, my first 'love' I met right on my first day of high school in 2005. We had a cool relationship for 9 motnhs but she was 13 me 14 and I was really immature and really it was just a friendship, after 9 months we broke up. In 2006, my life began to fall apart, so did hers. Sally is a very bright and capable person and has seen tough times growing up in a single home with little but abuse(including sexual abuse) from her father. After we broke up the first time she went off with a couple of guys which all ended in faliure. In the middle of 2006, we got back together. It was our winter holidays and again nothing happened I was 200km away and our realtionship was just texting meanwhile my Parents were splitting up and both I and my mother were near suicidal when she broke up with me. In 2007, she wanted to get back together but I was sort of interested in someone else then I did something I'm not proud and was only sub-consciously intentional, we went out again for a week then I broke up with her just to get back at her for what she did to me. But to spite everything we have been through everything we have shared we have stayed great mates untill now.

Along comes 'Jared' a good guy and one of best mates who I had known in primary school(before Sally). After 6 weeks from us breaking up she went off with him. It was his first real relationship and things got serious quite quickly.

I moved to another country 3000km away in 2008 and still live there now to spite remaining in contact with my ex. When I went back during our Summer holidays we had an awsome me, Jared, Sally, Sarah and another mate. But 3 weeks ago she broke up with Jared(she had been talking about since last year and weighing up her options) and after a few days they were back together. Since then according to my third friend 'Sarah' who has been best mates with sally since they were 5 tells me Jared has convienced her that I was flirting with her and that I am still in love with her and want to get back together with her when I was with everyone in the summer break, she agrees its a whole lot of rubbish. But since then to spite my emails and txts over the last month she hasn't replied. I really don't want to confront her over it cause I know she will blame Sarah stright away and I don't want her to get involved. I really don't want to loose a great mate.
What should I do?

Sorry for all the detail I thought it was necessary to fully understand the situation.

RaeNose
August 25th, 2009, 09:47 PM
Hmm... You actually pose an interesting problem.
Well, there are three main things you should think about:
1. You're 3000 KM away from her, so if she lost contact with you, she wouldn't have you confronting her about why that was.
2. You've been on and off for a while now, and the time that you are together as a couple is decreasing.
3. Both of you have tried to move on. You two have seen other people, and (presumably) enjoyed someone else's company aside from that person.
Is it a possibility that not talking to her for a while could be beneficial to you?

boy.on.laptop
August 26th, 2009, 11:09 PM
Thanks that has given me food for thought. Obviously, though I didn't mean literally confront more like an angry email lol. The reason I want to remain in contact is purely as a friendship, we have alot in common. Yes, true it may well be a good thing to have a bit of time away. But its is still hard to grasp that someone you have know for so long and been so close to now doesn't want anything to do with you it seems.

Thanks for the advice again!

RaeNose
August 27th, 2009, 05:44 PM
No problem.
.... They changed the name of New Zealand?