Disturbing Dream...

[YesterdaysNews]

if this is in the wrong section feel free to move it....

okay, um... I'm not sure where to start...

in december of 2008 I was dating a guy named S. he asked me out over the christmas holidays so we were basically talking over MSN and web cam the whole time. one night, I was on my web cam and he asked me to take my shirt off. I refused at first but he kept pressuring me and pressuring me until I finally aggreed. I did that and he said "you're so beautiful. will you take off your bra?" and thats where I drew the line. I told him not that night and he asked when, and I said that I didnt know. he suggested the next time we talked and I said maybe. I didnt want to do it ever. we rarely talked until school started, and then I broke up with him one day after band.

I trusted him enough to start speaking to him again as just friends, since that was how we started... until late may-ish, he started trying to get me to text him pictures. one day he went too far, he texted "you promised. I'll give you 20 mins to take a picture, or I'm spamming your Inbox with pictures of me" I told him to fuck off and that I wasnt in the mood for his bullshit. I didnt think he would actually send me pictures of himself but he did. I got 4 or 5 pictures of his genitals... and on my phone the only way to delete a picture is to open it first... I couldnt believe it. I texted him and said "you jerk. leave me the fuck alone" and he replied "you promised, you know you can trust me, I wont show anyone. I sent you pictures of me for gods sake!" I just ignored him that night but he kept pressuring me... he sent me a text saying "you can either A) take a picture, B) give me a BJ/HJ or C) let me eat you out" and I started to sob, I couldnt take it anymore, I told him to fuck off one last time and he just said "so you break promises..."

so now to the dream...
The other night I had a dream that S was raping me. It felt so real and I woke up crying. when I woke up I thought I was going to be lying naked somewhere with him beside me. I've never had such a vibrant dream, I actually thought I was doing those things...

and now I'm paranoid. I'm afraid he'll start to bug me about it again. first he'll apologize for pressuring me and make up some sort of excuse, then he'll say that he just wants to be friends, someone I can go to if I need to talk. and then he'll start to pressure me again. I've fallen for it 3 times, and I dont know why I keep falling into his trap.

I'm afraid that now going into high school, he'll have more of a chance...
I also think I'm just being paranoid...
sorry for this... I needed to get it off my chest...

[Bougainvillea]

It's okay.
You need to tell someone.
Because that's harassment, hun.

*Offers warm, safe hug*

[YesterdaysNews]

thank you chris..
I told my one friend some things but not everything. and I can't tell my mom... now I wish she had gone through with her threat of getting me a councellor...
I hate bottling things up inside but when I got to tell people it just wont come out.

[Bougainvillea]

I understand.
I know exactly how you feel.

[RaeNose]

dang, hun.
that guy really is a jerk, and a sick pervert.
i know what you mean about rape dreams. I've had several myself, and they don't get any easier to have in your head. They just really suck. :(
I hope you feel better soon, and I hope that jerk leaves you alone.
Quick tip: Do not be left in a room alone with this guy.

[Underground_Network]

This isn't the guy you're currently dating, right? :/

And this guy sounds like an asshole, if he keeps this up, I would just report him to someone... (If he goes to your school, report him to your school, if not, go to a local police department, etc...)

You know I'm here for you Amanda. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always available... :hug:

[SlightlySane]

Don't take any of this crap. If he was pushing you this far to the point that you had a horrid nightmare it's gone way to far. He is using you up the best he can.

Just try to stay clear of him and find someone who you trust and will listen. Life can be hard and people can be cruel you just have to do the best to make the most of it.

I'm always here for you if you need anyone to talk to.

[YesterdaysNews]

This isn't the guy you're currently dating, right? :/


No, totally different people.
the guy I'm currently dating wouldn't ever do this.
thank you adam, it means alot.
and thank you slightlysane.

I trusted him enough to tell him about my self harm and he goes and pulls all this shit and wonders why I haven't stopped.
I'm afraid that he'll deny it if I ever reported it to someone and make me sound like a liar. I dont really have any proof of it... other than the texts. and he hasn't actually touched me inappropriately, just the pressure. I'm afraid that no one will care, that they'll just tell me to brush it off and move on

[AllThatIsLeft]

um no hun, there doesnt have to be actual contact to be harassment, that pressure he was putting on you, and the texts, is enough to get him in LOTS of trouble.

Don't be afraid to tell someone about this, it isn't right, and it CAN be stopped.

[YesterdaysNews]

I'm afraid to go to someone... I don't want people to know what he did, everyone will make a huge deal about it and I just want it to go away...
and I don't even know how I would begin to bring it up if I was going to report him...

[AllThatIsLeft]

I know what you mean hun, I never spoke about my abuse until years years later... not becuase i was afraid, i just didnt want people to treat me different.
I dont recommend you bottle it up tho, it can do a lot of damage, i know so.

[YesterdaysNews]

I dont know what to do...
the only people I feel like I can talk to are my friends on here :\

[AllThatIsLeft]

That's alright hun. Believe me, the only things friends can offer, is a few words of encouragement, the only person who can get through this is you. You just need that push.

Don't let this guy torment you, he's a no body, and no matter how much he tries he doesn't have anything over you.

Think about it this way, if he ever tries or suggest something, threaten him that you will tell on him, and that you have proof, those stupid pictures he sent you.

You are better than him, and nothing he does can change that.
You stand tall, because you have done nothing wrong,
people like him aren't worth feeling anything for, not even fear.

Only you can put your chin and be strong, we can only whisper advise.

[YesterdaysNews]

thank you.
I'll try... he hasn't talked to me in a couple weeks so I'll see how it goes.
But if he tries anything, I'll do what you said.
thank you

[AllThatIsLeft]

Anytime hun, if you ever need help, msg me :)

[Aves]

First of all, the pics of his balls are illegal (in america at least), and it is harassment, and don't be afraid to tell you're mom or anyone, cause it's not you're fault at all.

[Beautiful Obsession]

you really need to tell someone, hes harrassing you and you shouldnt have to put up with it, you could get him banned from the site where he sent you alll those pictures, and i think you should get a new sim card and not ive him your number, dont let him back into your life and let him sweet talk you, everything he is sayin is a load of crap. and the next time he try's to speak to you again dont reply, and remember wot he made you feel like before, block him on msn aswell xx

[teenanx94]

awww honey I'm so sorry, I had someone sexually harras me over text to and the simplest thing to do is call 911. that's what I did. if you ever want to talk my door is always open hun. (sending you big hug)
email: [email protected]
aim: hdspwnlng

[YesterdaysNews]

he sent me the pictures directly from his phone...
and thank you teenanx94

he started texting me again yesterday, after our high school orientation. asking what classes I had and what my locker number is.. we dont have any classes together except maybe math in 2nd semester (hopefully not). and it turns out my locker is really close to his...
:(
he didnt even try to bring up anything sexual or whatever, but I dont know...

[The Joker]

Don't even trust him. As you said, he doesn't start off sexual, but then you begin to become friends again and it starts. Now that he's starting the cycle again, report him.

[mrmcdonaldduck]

thats harrasment, he could go to jail for that. if he does it again just call the cops.

[Ortizitthisone]

This kind of behavior on his part is not ok. You should tell someone about it. Your parents, a teacher or counselor, or the police are all good places to start. High school is a big step and it can be really scary. You think he has more of an opportunity to do this stuff in high school, and that may be true, but you also have a lot more help available to you in high school. You have a right to protect yourself from his bullshit.

[Charleigh]

It's virtual rape

Report him and make sure he understands why you did this, be safe

[Art_dude]

Fantastic comments here: not much else to add other than to encourage you to report him. He is a sick person to have not only pressured you to undress in front of him, but to send you those gross pictures. Go to your local police department with your phone and file a claim. He is a sick jerk and needs to be punished. You deserve so much better! I'm here to talk if needed :)

[Mystic]

Show those gross pictures to his parents lol!