I Want to Die

[Underground_Network]

The only meaningful thing in my life appears gone.

I have nothing to live for.

I have plenty of reasons to die.

I'm a bad person, I'm terrible. All I do is bother her... All I do is make her feel bad... All I do is make her angry or upset, and in turn I make myself angry and upset...

I can't live without her. But I can't live with her because I know I'll make her life hell.

The only solution is suicide.

[sebbie]

I am not going to say much other than to read this:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

Also remember that know one knows what the future holds, but I can guarantee it will be worth sticking around for.

[AllThatIsLeft]

You have many things to live for, Life itself is one of them.
You have to live for everything you haven't experienced.
You have to live for all the people that love you and that would be destroyed if you killed youself.
You have to live for yourself, becuase you owe yourself that much.
You have to live to truly know what it truly means to live.

Don't ever say you got nothing to live for, because it isn't true.

I love you Adam, and I don't want to see you die at such a young age.

[Underground_Network]

It's the stupid prozac I'm taking. Ever since I upped to 30 mg I've been hypersensitive to things.

I mean, I'm deliriously happy at times, but whenever I feel ignored or unwanted (as I've felt that way for the majority of my life), it triggers to me to feel really suicidal. I got so messed up in my head (and I really think it was the medication, because I don't usually act this way and this was only my second day using 30 mg), that I actually cut (self-harmed) for the first time, ever. I cut my left arm about 25-30 times, luckily all shallow.

But yeah, right now I feel a lot better... And if anything I want to "kill myself" for the PM I sent to Sterling... But meh... Whatever.

I'm over it for now. I just hope this affect wears off, because Prozac has been my lifesaver thusfar... (Though you guys have been huge in helping as well)

[YesterdaysNews]

excuse me Mr. Adam, I cannot permit you to do such a thing.
I'm here for you, I hope you know that.
what ever it is that you need to talk about I'm here to listen.
and remember, theres SO many things you still need to do in life, like dance with me to chronic future, grow up, fall in love, get married, have a family, or grow old and yell at kids to get off your lawn.
:hug:
there are so many people who care about you

[Underground_Network]

Thank you Amanda.

It means a lot.

But right now things are okay.

Hopefully they'll stay that way for the night...

:hug:

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I'm glad to hear you're a little better right now. :) If this keeps up, though, you need to talk to your doctor, Adam, please. If the increase in your medication seems linked to your mood change, then get it fixed. I've been on Prozac myself before, and honestly I didn't like it much either. It didn't do the job as well as what I'm on now (Effexor, if it matters).

How long have you been at this new dosage? Usually you give it a good two weeks to get acclimated, but if there are such negative side-effects you don't need to wait to fix it. The "deliriously happy" thing is also something to watch, see if it goes away. It's possible for SSRIs (such as Prozac) to induce mania, or mania-like symptoms, in some people. The higher your dosage the more likely the chance is. Hopefully this is one of those incidences which will go away and not affect you for very long. :hug:

Let us know how things go. We're all here for you. :)

[Underground_Network]

I've only been at this new dosage for two days now. I think I have things under control now, but idk.

I'll find out tomorrow when I take it again.

Tuesday I'll see my psychologist and talk to him about it... And if he thinks I should switch drugs or change the dosages, I'll go to my psychiatrist and ask him about it...

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Ok, sounds like a plan. I always hate making medication changes, even just the dosage, because I'm always worried it won't work as well or it'll cause side-effects. Especially after all that crap with the Lithium. Sometimes a change is necessary though, and I'm really glad you see that it's an option. Sometimes you just get so down that you it doesn't even cross your mind, you know?

But you're strong, and I know you'll get through this, no matter how things go from now until Tuesday. :)

[nick]

Adam

I dont know you very well, but prettyxugly has given you a great answer which I agree with completely.

I dont publish my msn or skype identities, but please pm me if you want, I'd be happy to talk to you. I'm no great councellor, but listen here, you really dont sound like a bad guy. Please talk to me, rant to me, use me as a soak box, if it will help.

Always know there's someone that cares.

Nick