underageflyklub
August 23rd, 2009, 02:44 PM
I seem to be having some anxiety issues.. which are getting bigger.
I've always worried to much, it just seems to be.. more so, now. Little things bug me more.
Only now, they're more of a problem of their own?
Things really, really start to worry me. Most things.My mum isn't home at the moment - the evening she left, I started to become afraid my dad might rape me. He's never physically abused me in my life, and realistically, that wouldn't happen. If I'm on the bus, I'm often scared the bus driver is schizophrenic and is going to kidnap me, or if I'm in a car I get really scared it's going to crash. I get nervous about leaving the house, too.. and often I don't leave the house, out of a mixture of just being generally anxious and laziness. It seems to also be a lot of smaller stuff; if I go to peoples houses, I panic more about the lift there and back, than being in the house.
I'm also really paranoid about thinking people think I'm clinically insane, or weird. Which I know there is some truth too.
I'm starting college in September - something else that just.. insanely panics me.
When I worry about things that are I guess out of my control, my and lungs go tight and my breathing messes up. I used to suffer with panic attacks so I suppose it's just the sign of that happening again?
I don't know why I'm telling you all this really - I guess I just want to know if others have been through the same thing?
Another thing, is just that, lately, I've been feeling really suicidal.. but not so much being I'm really miserable like in the past, more just because I'm tired of life. It just worries me because sometimes my thoughts are really, really suicidal.. I don't want them to get out of hand.
Um, yeah. Thoughts, maybe? :\ Thanks for reading, it's greatly appreciated!
EDIT; Haha, um, I left out the two main reasons that caused me to worry about my anxiety. The first one is that I'm starting to be afraid to talk? :S I know that sounds really stupid and I guess I am being a bit of a twit, but when I'm in situations or out and about with people, or even online, sometimes I just don't talk at all, in fear of saying something really really stupid or people thinking I'm stupid. (I guess there is some benefit to me not talking, as I usually talk and ramble a lot, which you can probably see here :| :P)
The other thing was the fact that I'm starting to think there's bugs and spiders and things crawling around or in my body.
I've always worried to much, it just seems to be.. more so, now. Little things bug me more.
Only now, they're more of a problem of their own?
Things really, really start to worry me. Most things.My mum isn't home at the moment - the evening she left, I started to become afraid my dad might rape me. He's never physically abused me in my life, and realistically, that wouldn't happen. If I'm on the bus, I'm often scared the bus driver is schizophrenic and is going to kidnap me, or if I'm in a car I get really scared it's going to crash. I get nervous about leaving the house, too.. and often I don't leave the house, out of a mixture of just being generally anxious and laziness. It seems to also be a lot of smaller stuff; if I go to peoples houses, I panic more about the lift there and back, than being in the house.
I'm also really paranoid about thinking people think I'm clinically insane, or weird. Which I know there is some truth too.
I'm starting college in September - something else that just.. insanely panics me.
When I worry about things that are I guess out of my control, my and lungs go tight and my breathing messes up. I used to suffer with panic attacks so I suppose it's just the sign of that happening again?
I don't know why I'm telling you all this really - I guess I just want to know if others have been through the same thing?
Another thing, is just that, lately, I've been feeling really suicidal.. but not so much being I'm really miserable like in the past, more just because I'm tired of life. It just worries me because sometimes my thoughts are really, really suicidal.. I don't want them to get out of hand.
Um, yeah. Thoughts, maybe? :\ Thanks for reading, it's greatly appreciated!
EDIT; Haha, um, I left out the two main reasons that caused me to worry about my anxiety. The first one is that I'm starting to be afraid to talk? :S I know that sounds really stupid and I guess I am being a bit of a twit, but when I'm in situations or out and about with people, or even online, sometimes I just don't talk at all, in fear of saying something really really stupid or people thinking I'm stupid. (I guess there is some benefit to me not talking, as I usually talk and ramble a lot, which you can probably see here :| :P)
The other thing was the fact that I'm starting to think there's bugs and spiders and things crawling around or in my body.