Trying to understand,

[Darkness]

Right this is a summary of why I think people self harm, and what happens to them. I want to know if I've got this right, and if I don't what is right. This is formed on my experiences with others and the people on this fourm.

In my book five reasons for self harming,
Mental instability-RARE
Self Punishment-Thankfully also Rare
Relief*-Most SI's do this
Expression*-Almost all the rest
Attention seekers-Not really SI's
*of emotional pain

Most SI's are utterly sane, they just cope with things differently.
I think some trauma has to happen either earlier or at the time to trigger this way of coping. Most feel gilty for it because its utterly unnatural, all life has the instinct to survive: Self harm is so against that.

I think they kill some part of themselves, a part they don't need but it's still gone. The conflict of nature and need to cope with stress, it tears them apart. Few ever recover fully, the same as a parent losing a child. They don't smile the same, they change. They don't trust life somehow. I think doubt takes over a part of their mind that they need to trust themselves, I think this is why some find it hard to tell or trust others.

Some cut, some burn, some hit themselves, it doesn't matter how the result is the same. Emotional anarchy. Things that trigger Self harming can range from rape and abuse, to being ignored or left out.

Am I right about this or is this the wrong end of the stick?

[Sapphire]

How can you know that few recover from this if the people you've spoken to about this aren't over the age of 25?

Also to say that it is against nature because it goes against the survival instinct is very incorrect. Self harm is a coping mechanism. Methods of coping help people to survive through hard times.

Kill part of themselves? Where did that come from?

I also think that we are unstable mentally when we self harm. If we were stable then we wouldn't need to cause ourselves harm just to cope with life.
Self harm as a form of self punishment isn't all that rare. I know that I and many others have done it because we felt we needed to be punished for doing/experiencing this, that or the other.

Tbh you need to learn more about this before you can properly understand.

[Darkness]

Which is why I made this thread I want to understand this. If part(s) of that statment is wrong then what I think is wrong.
How can I learn more?

[Wakoabs]

One way would be looking it it up on the internet ,talking to someone about selfharming or watching what people say on this form.

I'm a selfharmer and even i don't understand sometimes.

[2D]

Just check out this section of the forum for a bit. Like 3 weeks. You'll learn a lot. As a struggling self harmer I can tell you I am definitely not mentally stable, especially not when I feel the need to cut. My reasons for it woul dbe to calm myself usually. I get really emotional over some stuff. And I do it so I won't do something even more dangerous, as I have before. So you got some things wrong and some things right. Just give it some more time and you'll learn more.

[MadManWithaBox]

i dont think while im cutting, i go into a frame of mind where i wouldn't say im mentally sane. but its not as easy as summarising everyone like that. check some of the stuff people put up here, do general internet research.

[RaeNose]

That's a very bleak outlook on all of it.
However, I don't know if we will be completely healed. It's been three months for me, and I still get those urges. It really really sucks.
I like to think that I'm happier, but there was also a point where I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

[Sapphire]

Which is why I made this thread I want to understand this. If part(s) of that statment is wrong then what I think is wrong.
How can I learn more?
Why you have ignored most of my post is beyond me...

You can learn more about this by reading from a number of different sites on the net. By only looking at a one site you will not get a full understanding of self harm.

[Sunshine Girl]

" think they kill some part of themselves, a part they don't need but it's still gone"

Not sure if i understand this part. Maybe damages some part of ourselves but that can be healed somewhat over time. with love and support. yes we will be changed. Forever changed and may see things at a different angle but nothing is ever "gone or killed"

and like everyone else said this is a start but hang out here awhile to understand more :)

[Darkness]

Why you have ignored most of my post is beyond me...


Sorry, I tend to do that when I'm wrong about something, not the best tactic.
It's bullshit about the killing part of themselves, I mean they change, they aren't the same as before, I made that as an assumption, wrongly.

I really appreciate you all helping me on this, thanks.