really freaking out

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Ok so i'm really scared,
about a month ago i had a cold sore and gave my boyfriend oral sex, then realized the disastrous-ness of that.
Then it was really hot and sweaty the other night so i was itching and formed two cuts, non blister like but round and swallow. i became worried, the next day three ingrown hairs, or so i thought formed. Now i'm really really worried that its herpes, but you can't test for it untill 3-6 months after you contacted it.

also i'm a bit confused though because i'm not itchy, and it doesn't burn to pee (unless it gets in the cut but thats normal) and i wouldn't really say any of these "cuts" or "ingrown hairs" look like blisters.

my question is, will he get an outbreak soon so i can know if this is herpes or not? and if i did give him herpes through oral sex, and then he gave it to me through sex, wouldn't he have the out break first?

[MickyT]

Please explain how you experience a burning feeling in your mouth when you pee. I'm confused by the way you worded your story, it seems as though you have a cold sore in your mouth but this would not explain the other symptoms you are mentioning.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

She was talking about her genitals when she mentioned the ingrown hairs, I think, which is where the burning to pee came in (which she said she wasn't experiencing). After giving her boyfriend oral sex, I think she's worried that her cold sore may have passed something to him and that it was later transferred to her.

Tegan, have you noticed any other suspicious bumps or spots since then? If I may ask, do you shave at all down there? If you do, getting one or two ingrown hairs is probably a common enough occurrence for you, so don't worry too much yet. Did you look at them much after scratching? Have you noticed any hairs sticking out of those spots, which would indicate that that's all it was?

Also, are you sure it was a cold sore? Not like, a canker sore? Cold sores are more like blisters and may break open, whereas a canker sore is shallow and just kinda painful. Also, I know that when I'm stressed I sometimes get a single sore on my mouth, always in the same spot, but it's not a cold sore. It's more just a circular wound in the corner of my mouth.

Before "getting intimate" with your boyfriend again, I'd ask if he's having any symptoms. If he is, you may want to wait until both of you are tested.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Hes not getting any symptoms i haven't brought this situation up yet because i dont want to stress before its necessary, one i'm off my menstrual cycle i'm getting tested, and obviously i'm going to wait and see how long these symptoms happen for.

i have three ingrown hairs, two shallow round cuts from "itching" at least thats what i think, and another part down there is sowllen and bumby so i dont know because theres so many things going on that i'm either convinced it is or i'm not because not all three are expliained in the symptoms or herpes.

if it is, how the HELL do i tell my boyfriend.

i feel like this is a man i can spend the rest of my life with :(.

[Bougainvillea]

I'm sorry, Tegan. But you'll just have to wait until you can get tested. :/

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Well, don't worry too much right now. Scratching an ingrown hair tends to lead to those little scabs. It's a lot like picking at a zit--it might get rid of the problem but it can create a small wound in the process. The only potentially unexplained thing is the swollen bumpy bit, but that may go away and never return, you never know.

Just try to relax for now, I guess, is my advice. If you do end up getting tested, let us know how it turns out. I'm thinking you're probably going to be fine, though. :)

[Antares]

Well umm...does he have herpes?
Because if he doesn't then youre the culprit :P

If you had a cold sore (which is a form of herpes) then you could have spread it to him I suppose. Giving him oral probably wasn't best but if he indeed contracted it during that session, then he probably wouldn't see it for months and months or he could get it right away and then it go away for some times.

Herpes is like a rollercoaster. They can come for a logn time, disappear, whatever. Its really unpredictable.

Umm, you are right that herpes presents itself as blisters so if you don't think they look like herpes then you have a really high possibility of not having them.

So to sum it up, he may or may not get an outbreak soon or ever so thats not a reliable way of telling. It is highly possible you spread the herpes during oral.

But when we get tho that triangle thing it gets confusing.
I suppose it is possible that you gave it to him via oral and he gave it back to you (in the vaginal region) during intercourse but that wouldnt make much since because in theory it would be the same strain I suppose and you can't give yourself a disease. Just like you can't give yourself AIDS.

All in all, I think you should just wait it out, see if these lesions and such heal and the next time they come back take a trip to the doctor.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

ok so i'm pretty convinced i have it because i have got a slight fever today.
I'm so upset, and scared.
I've decided i am going to tell my boyfriend today, because if i dont want to be worried and get tested behind his back.

so this is what i was thinking of saying,
something along the lines of, you know those ingrown hairs i was complaining about? well i'm worried now because theres a lot of them and they really hurt and it doesnt look normal, and remember when i had that cold sore last month? well i'm worried it may have spread something.

i am terrified to tell him i don't know how hes going to react, and i die if anyone finds out, god i have no idea what to do.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Well, let him know that you're not sure yet, and you're only telling him because you're scared and think he should know what you're thinking. You're not telling him, "I gave you herpes," so much as, "I'm worried that something might be wrong, and I think you should know." Telling him now is best, rather than waiting, so good for you for deciding to do that. I think you need his support right now, and this is how you're going to be able to get it. You said you were thinking he was a man you could spend the rest of your life with. Hopefully he feels the same way for you and will be there while you both figure out what's going on. :)

[Fiending_the_freedom]

ok i told him last night, he was great about it.
He told me it probably nothing but we will both get checked out, and that if it is something we'll get through it together.
He said exactly what i want to hear.

but on the bad news side more bumps appered, flesh coloured, well kind of white and it really hurts to put a tampon in. so i'm thinking its either herpes or hpv genital warts.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I'm so glad to hear that he's supportive. :hug: If he wasn't, I'd have to hunt him down like a fish hunts the little flakes at the top of the water, because it's not like he couldn't have noticed the offending cold sore either.

I really hope that everything works out in the best way possible. Even if it is herpes, there are new treatments for that every day and they're still working to find a permanent cure for the virus. There are drugs to decrease the symptoms and to decrease your chances of spreading it (should your boyfriend not have it, or if you have other partners in the future). I think the hardest part, if the tests are positive, is going to just be coming to terms with it. We're all here if you want to talk. :)

[Fiending_the_freedom]

its gotten so bad, spread much more, and hurts a lot more.
I cant even walk more than 10 feet without screaming in pain.
I went to the doctors today to get tested, it takes ten business days, but i already know i have it. I don't know what to do about work, i've already called in sick for the last week and my doctor said my throat and fever will clear up in 48 hours so wrote a note to my work saying i can come back on thursday, when my next shift is, but how am i suppose to do my job when i cant walk?

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Has the doctor mentioned anything you can do for the pain? Worst case scenario, can you get a doctor's note to get you out of work? They wouldn't have to explain the problem explicitly, but they could say that you have a temporary medical condition which will not allow you to go in to work (the outbreak will be temporary, after-all). You and your health are your first priority, work comes second. If you can't go, then you can't go.

:hug: I really hope thing start clearing up soon, this sounds like you must be feeling terrible.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

I'm starting to think i may have to tell my dad, because i keep making weird yelping noises in the shower when it hurts really bad.
I'm suppose to go register for school today but i cant leave the house, but i don't know if i'm ready to tell him, or even if i ever want him to know.

also, i don't know what to do about my period because it hurts to put a tampon in, but if i use a pad, then down there stays moist and i read up, moistness will not help the infection heal, it has to be dry :(

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Telling your dad is up to you. If you're old enough to go to the doctor on your own, you're old enough to not tell him everything that happens at the doctor's office; at this point it's your choice if and when you decide to tell him.

As for the tampons vs pads issue, try to just use the tampons. Once they're in, it's all over for a few hours until you have to change them. If moistness is going to prolong the infection, you really don't want to risk that. Not only would you be in pain for longer, but it could make things worse in the meantime. It'll only be a few days until you're tampon-free for another month anyways, so if you can stand to use them it's probably best.

[SapphireDragon13]

A cold sore is technically a form of herpes, but it isn't the same strand of the virus as genital herpes...... so basically, if you have a cold sore, you can't give you're boyfriend herpes from having oral sex with him... So, overall, even if it was a cold sore, you didn't spread it... and that means that the blisters, like you said, are probably just ingrown hairs--nothing to worry about. I hope that helps. :)

~Jenelle

[Fiending_the_freedom]

no its for sure herpes as sure as i can get without the test results back.
There are two strains of herpes 1 and 2, 2 is genital and 1 is in cold sores,
you can spread 1 to your genitals, the treatment is the same but the only good part is that it is less dangerous to your body because it cannot travel up in through your genitals, it will stay on the surface.

My doctor told me all this when i told him it was spread from a cold sore so it is true that you can spread herpes to your genitals from oral herpes, unfortunately that is not a widely known fact which i think would have been handy to have been taught in sex ed.

[SapphireDragon13]

Ohh, okay.. I thought hsv1 couldn't get spread to the genitals..... because that's what our health teacher told us.... but I guess it would be better to listen to your doctor... I hope you feel better soon

~Jenelle

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Unfortunately, my health teacher told me the same thing, which makes me wonder how many kids really are aware of this risk. You can spread it to another person's mouth, but from mouth to genitals was apparently pretty dayng unlikely. Although we were still advised to use a condom if the blowjob giver had a cold sore. I guess, from what Tegan says, it's not the same virus as what we commonly consider genital herpes to be. Maybe that's what the health teachers meant? Still. Someone should change the health classes to include that tidbit of info when they talk about STIs and how they are transmitted.