*sigh*

[grass]

I have so much stuff I could say right now I don't know where to begin so I'm not even going to bother, but I will say this.
My longing for death has turned into something else, i don't even want to kill myself so much as I feel that I have too.
Like it's my destiny or that it's the right thing to do.
It's like life is a puzzle and me dying is one of the pieces, until I do it everythin else is on hold.
I have to die for things to move on, how crazy is that lol.

[mrmcdonaldduck]

you are not a pawn in the game of fate.

don't kill yourself because you think you are, you have to get your mind off this and find something new to do

[grass]

lol nah no more weed thanks, it won't help.
I don't feel like a pawn, I feel more like a king.
Your the pawns running around distracting yourselves running away from it all.
This would be something big that would have repercussions. Like giving birth to a web of possibilities.
Its not something I intend to rush into but I can't deny that it intrigues me.