1_21Guns
August 19th, 2009, 05:38 PM
yeah, I have no idea why i'm posting this, but anyway, I'm trying to look up more now, and its just dawned on me, over the past few weeks i've been getting very upset, breaking down and causing arguments with my mum over moving, the 'what ifs' that have been running through my mind have been pushing me over the edge slowly, but then i realised, i dont live the rest of my life thinking what if every time i do something, so why should that be any different. No matter how worked up I get over it, it wont stop it happening, just the same as thinking about what could happen when I move.
Nothing says i'm going to go over the edge when I move, yeah sure my dad knows where I am (the biggest problem), he's two minutes away, its like 10 minutes away from all my friends and school, I wont have internet when I move in for up to a week, which could drive me insane, I could rhyme off a million and one reasons why I cant move there, but who says thats going to push me over the edge?
I could just be lieing to myself again, which is what happened last time I thaught I was slowly overcoming my depression which then when something big happened, the reality of it hit me, and I realised I was never over it and it was alot worse. But who says history has to repeat itself, the more I think about it and read this through, the more I swear i'm just lieing to myself and trying to prove everyone wrong, but who am I kidding at the end of the day?
Nobody but myself.
Nothing says i'm going to go over the edge when I move, yeah sure my dad knows where I am (the biggest problem), he's two minutes away, its like 10 minutes away from all my friends and school, I wont have internet when I move in for up to a week, which could drive me insane, I could rhyme off a million and one reasons why I cant move there, but who says thats going to push me over the edge?
I could just be lieing to myself again, which is what happened last time I thaught I was slowly overcoming my depression which then when something big happened, the reality of it hit me, and I realised I was never over it and it was alot worse. But who says history has to repeat itself, the more I think about it and read this through, the more I swear i'm just lieing to myself and trying to prove everyone wrong, but who am I kidding at the end of the day?
Nobody but myself.