Last night...

[Discomposure]

Okay, so last night really confused me.
don't judge me but i cut everynight ... i sort of got into a habit i am gettin help so please don't tell me to get help :)
anyway last night i cut deeper than i have ever done and i did scare my self alot i was thinking oh please stop bleeding and then my thoughts changed to oh keep bleeding i felt strange... after all of that i got into bed and settled down... i couldnt get to sleep, i had this wierd feeling where i wanted to hurt.. but i'd all ready cut so why did i have this feeling again? but i sat up and i was actually shaking my feet trying to keep my mind off it... i was tapping my fingers and stuff like that and to be honest i felt really stupid. Then my fingers started hurting i really dunno why... and i punched a wall... yeah i felt stupid afterwards but i liked it, then i gave in and cut again then layed back down but that feeling was still there and i was really tired (it was about 4 this morning) i was cryin cos all i wanted to do was just go to sleep and forget about it but i couldn't

i usually have urges and i dont try to not cut if you get me but last night was just reall strange . sorry i just wanted to get it out cos im not sure really why i was like that...

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

It seems that last night was difficult for a few people. I don't know why you would be feeling this, if it happens again try warm stimulant-free drink, hot chocolate maybe? Or a relaxing bath before trying to sleep. It may help you relax and take your mind off it. I'm glad that you are recieving help. Feel free to pm me anytime.

[BlackenedSilver]

"That is not the only addictive quality to self-harming. It releases chemicals in the brain that produce a calming effect. Young people become addicted to their own chemicals and self-harming is one way to get them released."
http://abuse-recovery.suite101.com/article.cfm/people_who_selfharm_need_understanding_to_heal

That sentence really covers it, I think thats why you felt like you did last night anyway.
It's why many people on here are addicted to self harm, why they feel the need to do it. Maybe because you cut deep more of these chemicals were released So therefore you wanted more. Thats just a random guess, but try using some of Morgans tips above next time you feel like that :) Hope you're okay.

[Discomposure]

thanks for the reply, i understand a little more now but as i said to morgan in a pm its been a bit like that for a few nights only not as bad it was sort of like it got worse each night, it was leading up to it and i'm worried that it will be worse tonight, or another night i really don't like this. at all. :( i'm so sick of not sleeping, i haven't slept properly in weeks and i'm on sleepign tablets.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Try setting a time for yourself to try and sleep at, and turn of the computer and tv about an hour or so before then.

[Discomposure]

thankyou, i'll try that im not sure what it will do for me cos things like the elastic band dont work for me either..

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

It may just help you relax before sleep

[Amyxoxo]

The elastic band thing dnt work 4 me either. Anyway if u worry then wonder why u do it. Y dnt u tell who ur gettin help from they might help more :)

[dstnyisurs]

The elastic band thing works when I'm in school and self harm is just plain stupid to attempt to pull off.
Love, no one here will judge you. We're all here to help each other and lean on one another. Just so you know, I'm always here for you if you need me via messaging, instant messaging, or anything.
Try asking your parents to (if they don't already) start eating dinner at a set time every night, and after that, aside from perhaps desert or an EARLY snack, don't eat or drink anything. If you are thirsty, have a small glass of water. Try getting to bed earlier, even if you're just laying in bed, because the repeated routine and actions will trick your body into falling asleep. Also try getting up early, and sometime in the late afternoon or evening going for a jog. It will tire you out and you'll get some exercise in the process (not implying you need it, but everyone could do with some more excercise).

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Agreed, but don't jog too late, it wakes you up somehow. If my mum goes on the treadmill too late she can't sleep. Other than that yeah.

[Discomposure]

Thankyou :)