Gay Couples Raising Kids

[The Batman]

So I got the idea of this thread from jon after hearing his opinion on it, my question is do you think that homosexual couples can effectively raise children?

[MoveAlong]

I only have one parent.

I'm being raised fine.

Many people only have one parent.

They are fine.

Now...it would be nice to have two. Don't you think it'd be a little easier with two? I think it would be nicer to have two. No matter what gender they are.

[ShatteredWings]

Surprisingly, i'm a bit torn on this.

However. Personal beliefs on raising children aside, it's not fair to disallow anyone to have a child if they choose on the basis of their sexual orientation.

Zach's point on how single parents manage to raise a child is rather valid. Single parents do fine, though yes i usually believe that they're not getting everything they should (in some cases, yeah.. one parent is toxic and being raised by the better one is better).

No, you won't find me with a tot attached at the hip who isn't a kid i'm babysitting, but you won't find me protesting against gay parents.

Commence flame war.

[The Batman]

I think that no matter the orientation or gender of the parents only a stable and loving environment is what is really needed for kids.

[thepieman]

I mostly have nothing against it, as long as the child is rightly cared for and looked after, it shouldn't matter what the sexual orientation is of the parents. The only slight problem is if the child experienced bullying in school because of it. Still, I hope by the time they are teenagers, homophobia will be going away...

[Donkey]

I think that it does best for a child to be raised into a family of a woman/man. It just feels right. Children will feel excluded how their two dads always show up in the playground when everyone else has their mums and dads. The child will get bullied. And hell, that's just it.

I think it's better if a child grows up in a relationship with two blood parents. It makes him feel better, especially when older. It also gives them a better understanding of women which *MIGHT* be important if they want to find a date [way you're raised can make you gay?]. Would you prefer to grow up with two guys, or a guy and a girl?

If two gay guys adopt a girl, who can they relate with [please no stereotypical gay comments]? It's not fair on the child. I think adoption should really only be for heterosexual couples who cannot physically have children. I would have exactly the same views on this if I were gay too.

[Grey fox]

Too many heterosexual couples who are badly suited stay together "just for the kids" who may have been accidental and unplanned. This creates a bad environment for the kids to grow up in and as a result the children themselves are more likely to be poor achievers, have confidence issues and are statistically unlikely to make successful committed relationships, thus creating a vicious cycle.

A gay couple would decide WHEN they wanted to have kids, there would be no chance of hem being accidental, unplanned or unwanted kids and one hopes that as they want to raise kids, it's their way of showing how truly committed to each other they are.

Surely in a world full of rising divorce, abortion, child abuse rates with many thousands of children in care homes desperate for the love of parents, gay couples should in fact be encouraged to raise children??

[The Batman]

I think that it does best for a child to be raised into a family of a woman/man. It just feels right. Children will feel excluded how their two dads always show up in the playground when everyone else has their mums and dads. The child will get bullied. And hell, that's just it.

I think it's better if a child grows up in a relationship with two blood parents. It makes him feel better, especially when older. It also gives them a better understanding of women which *MIGHT* be important if they want to find a date [way you're raised can make you gay?]. Would you prefer to grow up with two guys, or a guy and a girl?

If two gay guys adopt a girl, who can they relate with [please no stereotypical gay comments]? It's not fair on the child. I think adoption should really only be for heterosexual couples who cannot physically have children. I would have exactly the same views on this if I were gay too.

I know two kids right now that are being raised by a lesbian couple, they aren't bullied, they aren't confused, and they are happy to say they have two mommies.

The world is a lot more accepting and tolerant than it was 20 years ago so bullying wouldn't really be much of a problem.

I agree that it would be hard for 2 gay men to raise a little girl but it's not like they can't get help

[INFERNO]

I think that in the population of homosexual and heterosexual parents, there's going to be many that are horrible parents, mediocre parents, good parents and amazing parents. I see no reason why homosexual parents shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. Raising kids shouldn't matter on your sexual orientation, hell, it shouldn't matter on your race, height, weight or how many extra arms and legs you have. It should matter on your ability and effectiveness of raising a child.

With homosexual parents I'm sure the kid may get more bullying for their parents' sexual orientation compared to heterosexual parents. However, kids are going to get bullied for any reason possible.

I have one other reason for supporting it though. The world we're in is far from being an ideal world. There are horrible and abusive parents, parents too poor, orphanages aren't the most pleasant from what I've heard, etc... . So if there are millions of parents who are willing and a fair share of them are quite competent for the job, why not let them? It's not really fair to say "well we have plenty of kids that need parents and you're perfect for the job but because of your orientation we're not going to let you and we'll let the kid suffer more until you change your orientation or someone else with a different orientation comes along".

With homosexual parents, the kid is bound to notice that something is different: there's two females or two males as opposed to one female and one male. But I think that the parents would be more likely to explain the sexual orientations and not be narrow-minded about that. As for adoptions, many studies have shown that the adoptive parent-child bond is remarkably strong:

Adoptive parents invest more time and financial resources in their children compared with biological parents, according to the results of a national study that challenges the more conventional view -- emphasized in legal and scholarly debates -- that children are better off with their biological parents.

The study, by sociologists at Indiana University Bloomington and the University of Connecticut, found that two-parent adoptive parents not only spend more money on their children, but they invest more time, such as reading to them, talking with their children about their problems or eating meals together.

"Society often tells people that adoption isn't normal," said IUB Professor Brian Powell, who focuses on the sociology of the family. "When people make the decision that they want to have children and then use unusual means to have them, they compensate for the barriers." CLICKIE HERE (http://newsinfo.iu.edu/news/page/normal/4865.html)

[Hyper]

In theory anyone can be a good parent regardless of genders

I just think that the bullying would be awful.. In here having 2 same sexed parents = ridicule for life

[Antares]

Yes.
Considering the fact that as a sane parent, you won't shove sexuality down their throats, and that being gay or whatever isn't really a choice, I think they can.

I mean, we need people to adopt kids. We need good parents in the world and gay people/couples can fill that need.
They are just as qualified as a straight couple. They can provide the same amount of love, and they need to be allowed to raise children too.

The only "fault" that people bring up is that the parents will "corrupt" and "taint" them, and that simply...is ridiculous and I can't imagine good parents doing that.

In reality, there isn't any reasonable evidence that a gay couple has any negative effects on children.

[JackOfClubs]

Yes, I do think that they can effectively raise a child. It may be awkward for the child in his teen years, but I don't think that he will end up any different.

[ManyPearTree]

I think it's alright to raise children as long as they don't expose the children to their sexuality because it may give the children ideas to imitate their guardians with siblings or friends.

[Rainstorm]

Whether or not the parents are homosexual or not should not effect the childs life, but sadly, that's the kind of world we have to live in.

Anyway, why deny homosexuals another right? We deny to much for them. If they want to adopt, then by hell let them adopt.

[The Batman]

I think it's alright to raise children as long as they don't expose the children to their sexuality because it may give the children ideas to imitate their guardians with siblings or friends.

That makes no sense how would their parent's sexuality reflect on them?

[ManyPearTree]

That makes no sense how would their parent's sexuality reflect on them?

We all see our parents show signs of affection (kiss, hug, lovey dovey crap) to each other right? If a young child witnesses their male/male or female/female guardians intensely admiring each other, might the child get the idea that engaging in sexual activity with the same sex is normal? If the guardians do not inform the child that not every person agrees with same sex "interaction" could the child exibit the behaviors of homosexuality just like we imitate our parents in boy girl interaction?

Lol I know it dosen't necessarily make sense but that's the best way I can put it..

[Zero Beat]

I think gay couples can raise childen. They just go uo in a different life style. Oh wait, every one does... :)

[The Batman]

We all see our parents show signs of affection (kiss, hug, lovey dovey crap) to each other right? If a young child witnesses their male/male or female/female guardians intensely admiring each other, might the child get the idea that engaging in sexual activity with the same sex is normal? If the guardians do not inform the child that not every person agrees with same sex "interaction" could the child exibit the behaviors of homosexuality just like we imitate our parents in boy girl interaction?

Lol I know it dosen't necessarily make sense but that's the best way I can put it..

In you theory straight parents shouldn't do it either because they could go to school, cuddle up with the opposite sex, and start hugging and kiss. If a child is gay then he'll want to do that with the same sex rather his parents do it or not, but if he's straight then there is no way it's happening.

[mosaic.]

Right! Because all straight couples foster straight children! Isn't that right?

I believe all parenting is beyond sexuality. No matter the orientation, anybody can be an effective parent if they have the initiative, passion, and determination.

In fact, I believe gay couples will promote tolerance to their children! Something that some straight couples fail to do!

[The Joker]

I think that no matter the orientation or gender of the parents only a stable and loving environment is what is really needed for kids.

I totally agree. There is one problem though. I believe the child will get bullied for having gay parents. That's the only fault, that the child may be bullied if anyone finds out.

[Darkness]

depends where they got the child from, If its a new born to my mind it's no different to being rasied by a grandmother and a mother or father and uncle, Its not ideal but if the child is well cared for there is no issue.

K.I.T.N it's fuel for the fire, keep some water (Adults) on hand to stop it.

[Whisper]

I don't see a problem with it at all
beats foster care by a LOOOOONG shot and to be frank they'd probly provide a safer more loving home then the majority of the crackhead mothers with gang related dads and other bullshit crap society has no problem with

[Grey fox]

We all see our parents show signs of affection (kiss, hug, lovey dovey crap) to each other right? If a young child witnesses their male/male or female/female guardians intensely admiring each other, might the child get the idea that engaging in sexual activity with the same sex is normal? If the guardians do not inform the child that not every person agrees with same sex "interaction" could the child exibit the behaviors of homosexuality just like we imitate our parents in boy girl interaction?

Lol I know it dosen't necessarily make sense but that's the best way I can put it..

Recent scientific studies have found that homosexuality is not caused by imprinting, and has a genetic cause and factors behind it. Whether you are gay or not is determined by your genes, not the sexuality of your parents. Though, understandably, a child with same-sex parents will be a lot more open minded and tolerant as an adult.

[INFERNO]

I totally agree. There is one problem though. I believe the child will get bullied for having gay parents. That's the only fault, that the child may be bullied if anyone finds out.

The child is likely to get bullied even if they don't have gay parents. The child may be bullied for their parents' incomes to the child's size, etc... .

Recent scientific studies have found that homosexuality is not caused by imprinting, and has a genetic cause and factors behind it. Whether you are gay or not is determined by your genes, not the sexuality of your parents. Though, understandably, a child with same-sex parents will be a lot more open minded and tolerant as an adult.

Would you mind showing me these studies? There has been some attempts to determine a genetic cause but as far as I know, there hasn't been a study that showed it was due to genetics and not due to imprinting. Many studies attempt to show it's due to genetics but I haven't seen one that was also able to successfully rule out imprinting and any other non-genetic causes.

[The Joker]

The child is likely to get bullied even if they don't have gay parents. The child may be bullied for their parents' incomes to the child's size, etc... .


Very true, but the adoption is something that CAN be changed. You can't make a child tall, or athletic, or sociable. But a gay couple adopting, that can be changed.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm a little tired.

[INFERNO]

Very true, but the adoption is something that CAN be changed. You can't make a child tall, or athletic, or sociable. But a gay couple adopting, that can be changed.

Actually you can make a child taller, more athletic and possibly more sociable. With that aside, adoptions can be changed but I'm not understanding what the point is that you're trying to make.

[The Joker]

Actually you can make a child taller, more athletic and possibly more sociable. With that aside, adoptions can be changed but I'm not understanding what the point is that you're trying to make.

OK, sorry, I may be rambling a bit. I'm tired right now.

Basically, from what I've seen, children are only good to be adopted by one parent, and switching to a different one doesn't help them. But, if they were with a gay parent, they may be mocked.

[liveyoungdiefast]

If heterosexual parents aren't raising their children to know there is nothing wrong with homosexuality, and nothing wrong with other kids having gay parents, then they're failing as parents by contributing to bigotry.

And don't give me that 'personal religious morality' opinion. If you're homophobic then you can shove your pseuedo-morality up your cunt.

[INFERNO]

OK, sorry, I may be rambling a bit. I'm tired right now.

Basically, from what I've seen, children are only good to be adopted by one parent, and switching to a different one doesn't help them. But, if they were with a gay parent, they may be mocked.

What evidence do you have supporting your argument of children are better off to be adopted by only one parent?

As for the bullying issue, I see that as a moot point. Regardless if the kids have gay parents, they're probably going to be bullied anyways. Kids get bullied due to their intelligence, clothing, looks, race, height, weight, etc... . So the issue of them possibly being bullied I don't see as a great point because even if they have heterosexual parents (biological or adopted), they're probably going to be bullied anyways.

[Donkey]

Can anyone here say that when they are about 11 years old that they wouldn't feel weird with two dads?

[Requin]

Frankie Boyle said it would be awesome. As if you get in one of thsoe situations when all your mates are saying "My dad would have your dad in a fight", you could be the only one that would say "Yea well my dad would fuck your dad". :P
Lol.

I love Frankie Boyle. Anyway, No, when your growing up you need a woman in your life really. I don't think I would want two dads.

[The Batman]

Can anyone here say that when they are about 11 years old that they wouldn't feel weird with two dads?

If the 11 year old was raised by both of the dad's why would they not feel comfortable?

[ShatteredWings]

Can anyone here say that when they are about 11 years old that they wouldn't feel weird with two dads?
I can't....

If the 11 year old was raised by both of the dad's why would they not feel comfortable?

Because kids arne't that stupid, they know that noone else has two dads or two mom

[The Batman]

I'm pretty sure the parents will explain what's going on. You guys are acting as if these kids are going to be taken from a happy home with a mom and a dad and put in a gay couple's house.

[muppletart]

"My mummy and daddy took me to the theme park last week!"

'My daddies took me dancing down the promenade..'

I think the whole situation would be very awkward for the child, but at least there'd be more members on this forum :)

[NightFighter]

I totally agree. There is one problem though. I believe the child will get bullied for having gay parents. That's the only fault, that the child may be bullied if anyone finds out.

Children get bullied for many reason. They might get bullied if their parents are too fat, too old or if they only have one parent. So, i think thats a weak argument.

I think the only reason why children should not be adopted by an adult is if they are in danger being with them or if the living conditions are not suitable.
Sexual preference has nothing to do with it.

[Camazotz]

Discriminating against someone's sexuality is wrong, correct? Then why is it acceptable that gay couples cannot raise kids?

It's not the sexuality of the parents that decides whether or not they are competent to raise children. It's the love and respect they have for the child. Will kids find it weird? Sure, because they're kids. They don't understand love or life. When they get older they should realize that everyone deserves the chance to be happy and raise children, regardless of sexuality.

Will kids bully the child with parents of only one gender? Yeah, but then again kids bully kids for other reasons too. You do not need a mother or a father figure specifically, as long as you have a good parent or parents who can teach you everything you need to know and raise you to be mature and accepting.

[Cromm]

Can anyone here say that when they are about 11 years old that they wouldn't feel weird with two dads? If I was teleported from my home into a strange famliy, sure! But if a child is raised by two guys, they're not going to understand why people think it's wrong; even if they know it's not common place.



Recent scientific studies have found that homosexuality is not caused by imprinting, and has a genetic cause and factors behind it. Whether you are gay or not is determined by your genes, not the sexuality of your parents. Though, understandably, a child with same-sex parents will be a lot more open minded and tolerant as an adult. Minor correction: These studies have more or less proven that homosexuality is not affected by environmental factors, thus suggesting that homosexuality has genetic causes. It will, however, not have proven this until they find the 'gay gene', as it were.




I think it's alright to raise children as long as they don't expose the children to their sexuality because it may give the children ideas to imitate their guardians with siblings or friends. Logical falicy, friend. Your argument nessisitates two incorrect suppositions: one, that sexuality is a learned behavour, and two, that rasing a child to be a homosexual is intrinsically wrong.




I think that in the population of homosexual and heterosexual parents, there's going to be many that are horrible parents, mediocre parents, good parents and amazing parents. I see no reason why homosexual parents shouldn't be allowed to raise kids. Raising kids shouldn't matter on your sexual orientation, hell, it shouldn't matter on your race, height, weight or how many extra arms and legs you have. It should matter on your ability and effectiveness of raising a child. Hit the nail smack on the head with this one! A person's sexuality alone is not going to be a determining factor in whether or not they're going to be fit parents. The percentages of nurturing, loving, fit parents is no different in homosexuals as it is in heterosexuals... and in both you will find people unsuited to parenthood. The sole difference is that the heterosexual couples can make babies on their own.


There are very few, if any, situations in which it is acceptable to deny a person something, anything, based on their sexual orientation; just as it is unacceptable to deny people things based on gender, race, age, religion, creed, or colour.


~ CC

[Zephyr]

I really fail to see what's wrong with a homosexual couple adopting.
You say it would be awkward for the child in question to have two parents of the same gender,
But did you ever think that they grow up in that situation and become adapted to the idea of having two moms or two dads?
Being raised by homosexuals will not make you homosexual as well.
A straight couple can raise a child who turns out to be gay,
So why can't a gay couple raise a child who turns out to be straight?
This is an area where the double standard fails.
Your attraction to people is more so dependent upon your personal likes and dislikes,
Not determined by your parent's sexuality.
I don't know about you, but I'm attracted to much different types on people than my parents are attracted to.

As said earlier, straight couples can be terrible parents.
I've seen this first hand.
A girl that I went to school with got pregnant with some white trash idiot,
The fool considers himself a bisexual-vampire-nazi-white supremacist, I kid you not,
And this girl simply lives off of her parents and welfare,
Doesn't try to get a job or go back to school,
And won't grow up, as she's stuck in the, "I'm oh-so gothic and badass" persona...
And she also smokes marijuana around the kid and drinks as well,
And she's going to be 20 in November.
A travesty if you ask me.
That child is doomed for failure by looking at their parent's examples.

Also, I have met somebody before who was adopted and has been raised by a homosexual couple.
Straight-A student, holds herself to a higher standard, very clean-cut.
When I asked her about whether having 2 dads was weird or not,
She told me that it wasn't weird at all,
That she loved both of them equally as if they were like any other set of parents.

Of course, all of this is not to say that one type of couple is better than the other, but it's just to help rid of the idea that homosexual couples are only bad and that heterosexual couples are only good.

[The Joker]

Random thought: I wonder how Fathers day goes for gay couples with kids.

[1_21Guns]

Parents are parents, does it really matter what gender they are. I know it can be confusing for the child thats being raised, but who cares what gender they are, as long as they are good parents.

[thedudeman]

if i remember right, a lot of people on here posted that they think life experiences may shape sexuality, so why is this any different?
im for it, its ok with me, but the thought of walking in on them or seeing them do that would make me cringe, nothing wrong with gays, but that doesnt mean it doesnt gross me out, also, the ridicule, all you kids who say its more accepted, the only difference is now you dont get beat up for it, kids would still be made unaccepted just because kids would deffinately make fun, i mean think of it, kids make fun of you for a small dick, imagine gay parents, comments like, i bet you watch your dads fuck, so your mom likes pussy? horrible things like that in high school

[Atonement]

Which is harassment and should not be tolerated by schools. It is, in my state, a violation of Iowa Code §216.11A: ""It shall be unlawful to coerce, intimidate, threaten, or interfere with any person in the exercise or enjoyment of, on account of the person having exercised or enjoyed, or on account of the person having aided or encouraged any other person in the exercise or enjoyment of, any right granted or protected by section 216.8, 216.8A, or 216.15A."

Most states have codes very similar to this. Actually, I'm damn sure all do. One of the rights listed is the right to an education and if, in school, that were to happen. This, inhibiting one's right to learn and have a safe enviroment in their school system could land someone with a hate crime charge.

[redcar]

Can gay couples raise kids?! Hell no. Gays are monsters. What ever next?! Women with the vote or interracial marriage?! Unthinkable.

[Donkey]

I've lost my speech on this thanks to Google Chrome crashing :(

I'll get something up tomorrow

[thedudeman]

Which is harassment and should not be tolerated by schools. It is, in my state, a violation of Iowa Code §216.11A: ""It shall be unlawful to coerce, intimidate, threaten, or interfere with any person in the exercise or enjoyment of, on account of the person having exercised or enjoyed, or on account of the person having aided or encouraged any other person in the exercise or enjoyment of, any right granted or protected by section 216.8, 216.8A, or 216.15A."

Most states have codes very similar to this. Actually, I'm damn sure all do. One of the rights listed is the right to an education and if, in school, that were to happen. This, inhibiting one's right to learn and have a safe enviroment in their school system could land someone with a hate crime charge.

like this is gunna do anything lol, a lot of people on here seem to think just because theres a rule against it nuthing will happen, kids still sell drugs in school

[Bougainvillea]

As long as they can bring the baby up in a safe, nurturing environment, as any couple should. And raise them right, I see no problem.

[Trickster]

I believe a family is defined as people who love and care for you.
A heterosexual couple can be deemed unsuitable to care for a child for a number of reasons as in drunk parents, drug abuse, neglect, physical and emotional abuse, and solitary confinement. All parents will have quirks and something that others will see is wrong. But there is no such thing as a perfect family with a mother and father happily laughing and drinking coffee and reading the paper while the kids are doing healthy and constructive work and play. It doesnt exist.
A homosexual couple does have the responisbilty of observing their neighborhood and examining the different schools and enviroment to ensure the child is in a tolerate and gay-friendly neighborhood to the best of their ability. But we cannot stop bulling because it may not always be because of the parents, it could be they are smarter then the other kids, they farted in class or something (kids are VERY cruel).
As long as the child does understand the living arrangement and the parents explain what the child should know at each age. (Pre-menstration cycle, wet dreams, breats, penis, voice, fads, and how to dress and what is apporitate and of course...Sex.) If a gay man does teach his daughter how to dress and how she is becoming a woman i dont believe she will have any objections. and vice-versa.
Although i do beleive it is good to have a good friend that is the opposite gender for same-sex couples. Just in-case so they are like a mother or father in law.
We all have a right to have our desired life and children all have a right to have a good life.

[Atonement]

like this is gunna do anything lol, a lot of people on here seem to think just because theres a rule against it nuthing will happen, kids still sell drugs in school

If there is a rule against it, it is to be enforced. That is why it's there. People get away from dealing drugs because people keep their mouths shut about it. Its unacceptable for people to keep their mouths shut about sexual harassment.

[ShatteredWings]

Actually he has a point. most schools DON'T do anything about harrasement even when they have strict polocies on it.

[Cromm]

Random thought: I wonder how Fathers day goes for gay couples with kids. Random solution: They celebrate "Fathers Day" rather than "Father's Day" ;)