Ugh. I give up. I just dont know what to do anymore.

[1_21Guns]

First i'll be honest. I feel like i'm littering VT up with my stupid posts =/ ... but anyway.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My head knows that cuttings wrong and that it dosent solve anything. Yet it feels like in my heart I just want anything to help take the pain away. I'm tired of fighting, yeah I relapsed two nights ago, but I havent cut since, yet i'm fed up of trying to stop myself.
I've been thinking alot lately, probabaly more than I should of, and I worked out why I relapsed, it was simply because I worked out alot of things that were going through my head that night, and working those things was hard for me and the reality of what was going through my head just crushed me. I couldnt take it.
I know you're all going to say cutting dosent solve anything and that I should keep fighting and that i'm strong enough. But am i? At the moment I just want to die. Literally just want to die. I'm through with it. I actually can't be arsed to face whatever I get thrown at me, I just want it to stop. Cutting seems like its the only way to stop me going completely over the edge.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

If the choice is cutting or death I must say that we'd all prefer you to cut. But I believe that you are strong enough, even if you don't feel it yourself. I know how you feel but sadly I'm at a loss of how to help anyone anymore, I just feel worthless and such, but that is another matter. Trust me that you are not alone and you can beat this.
Also feel free to pm me whenver.

[Miscer]

First i'll be honest. I feel like i'm littering VT up with my stupid posts =/ ... but anyway.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My head knows that cuttings wrong and that it dosent solve anything. Yet it feels like in my heart I just want anything to help take the pain away. I'm tired of fighting, yeah I relapsed two nights ago, but I havent cut since, yet i'm fed up of trying to stop myself.
I've been thinking alot lately, probabaly more than I should of, and I worked out why I relapsed, it was simply because I worked out alot of things that were going through my head that night, and working those things was hard for me and the reality of what was going through my head just crushed me. I couldnt take it.
I know you're all going to say cutting dosent solve anything and that I should keep fighting and that i'm strong enough. But am i? At the moment I just want to die. Literally just want to die. I'm through with it. I actually can't be arsed to face whatever I get thrown at me, I just want it to stop. Cutting seems like its the only way to stop me going completely over the edge.

go to the doctors, getting some (prescription) anti-depressants might help.

[Amyxoxo]

Honey, there are more people going through what you are atm and we all really want you to get through this, your not littering it with stupid comments if you are feeling like this, we want to help. You shouldnt want to die because you have so much more to live for. Anyway you will have more problems if you try to kill yourself than you have now...trust me!!! You have already faced some though things by the sound of it and could anything else be worse. You have coped this far i think you can do it again. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE dont do anything stupid as it will effect so many people in your life. PLEASE :/
Pm me if you feel like it :)
Amyxoxo

[Darkness]

First i'll be honest. I feel like i'm littering VT up with my stupid posts =/ ... but anyway.

I just don't know what to do anymore. My head knows that cuttings wrong and that it dosent solve anything. Yet it feels like in my heart I just want anything to help take the pain away. I'm tired of fighting, yeah I relapsed two nights ago, but I havent cut since, yet i'm fed up of trying to stop myself.
I've been thinking alot lately, probabaly more than I should of, and I worked out why I relapsed, it was simply because I worked out alot of things that were going through my head that night, and working those things was hard for me and the reality of what was going through my head just crushed me. I couldnt take it.
I know you're all going to say cutting dosent solve anything and that I should keep fighting and that i'm strong enough. But am i? At the moment I just want to die. Literally just want to die. I'm through with it. I actually can't be arsed to face whatever I get thrown at me, I just want it to stop. Cutting seems like its the only way to stop me going completely over the edge.

Is there someone you trust? Someone you could tell and not have them turn on you? I have read your other posts and... Well I can't say I don't understand, in fact, I can relate to much of your life and I think that what has happened to you, what is happening could make cutting a necessary evil.
I would Implore you however to find someone you can talk to face to face or try something else.

[1_21Guns]

Is there someone you trust? Someone you could tell and not have them turn on you? I have read your other posts and... Well I can't say I don't understand, in fact, I can relate to much of your life and I think that what has happened to you, what is happening could make cutting a necessary evil.
I would Implore you however to find someone you can talk to face to face or try something else.

Yeah I do have somebody I can trust. But since I found out the one person I thaught I could trust was nothing more than a two faced bitch and not even remotely trustworthy i'm wary about trusting one of my other close friends that much. Its not I dont trust them, I just dont feel like I want to tell them stuff if its just going to happen again.

[Darkness]

Well you do have here at the very least. :)

[SOS14]

what i do insted of cutting myself is i listen to music and then while im listening to music i right a poem or a few poems,,
im not saying you have to do that but maybe that could help