need help

[spaz]

my girlfriend really wants to have vaginal sex but we dont want to take the risk of getting her pregnant, and i dont know how to get a condom =/ now shes stressed out because all of her friends have lost their virginity and she feels left out. i told her when she was ready we would but im not sure if either of us are ready. i dont know what to do:confused::(

could someone give me some advice

[Gumleaf]

the simple answer is that if one or both of you don't feel ready, you shouldn't do it. try and talk to your girlfriend and tell her that there is nothing wrong with waiting and that you guys shouldn't just do it because her friends are. sex is something that you should do when you are both completely comfortable and ready. ready meaning prepared for the possible consequences that sex can bring. as for condoms, you can get them from supermarkets and pharmacy's i believe.

[Donkey]

Hey.

I'm going to try to answer your question the best I possibly can and in the most detail.

Where do I get a condom?
You can get condoms in your pharmacy, school nurse, doctors, petrol station, practically anywhere. It's really easy to get hold of condoms whatever age you are. Just look around for one.

The perhaps easiest way is just to ask your school nurse for some. Remember whatever you say to her is confidential and she can't tell anyone. The same goes for your doctor so you have nothing to worry about. You don't have to tell her what you're going to use them for if you don't want to, and she'll probably talk about safe sex to you.

However, seeing as it is the summer holidays, that option might not be available if you're not at school at the moment so you could just pop into your local pharmacy. Don't worry about asking, they've served them out to loads of people and they have no trouble serving them to you.

If the pharmacy is to intimate for you, petrol stations almost always have them. Just go in, look around, preferably get the safest ones you can to make sure they don't snap during sex so you're as safe as possible. As that's the important thing. Make sure you go for a well know brand like Trojan, Durex etc. and don't go for the cheapest option.

Perhaps research condoms a little before going to buy one so you know which are the best and are the best for what you want.

My girlfriend feels left out because all her friends have had sex.
This is a nasty thing, and we all know it. If you're not ready to have sex, you shouldn't. Always wait until you're ready. That's the most important thing. Remember that sex is extremely personal therefore you shouldn't do it just because your friends have.

Talk to her about it, comfort her and explain that her friends may not have actually had sex and that they may just be showing off. Explain that it's an individual thing that you have to decide if you want to do it and you shouldn't do it just because someone else has.

Talk to her in a private environment where she is confident. Don't be too hasty. Remember that this is, really, peer pressure which isn't a nice thing at all. Tell her lots of people haven't had sex at your age and there's really no reason to start now.

Am I ready to have sex?
This is a difficult question, because there are several different parts to it. The first part is whether you are physically ready. If your penis developed enough to have sex? Do you know how to have sex? Do you know what to do? Are you nervous?

Many questions that you need to ask yourself. Now you have to decide if you are emotionally ready. Could you handle a baby if the contraception doesn't work? What will it make you feel like afterwards, if you are nervous now? Would you make a parent and are you ready for a baby if the condom snapped or the pill didn't work?

Then you have to consider if you are both ready together. Do you trust your partner? This is important. Will your partner go talking about it to their friends? Would you accept that? How does that make you feel? What makes her want to have sex? Do you love her? Why do you want to have sex? Why do you want to have sex with her?

Now, consider this question carefully. Are there any reasons for you not to have sex, and what would your parents think? Your parents have raised you up and they have the best judgement over these things. You should live by how they think right now, and if they don't think you should have sex, you should listen to that and hey, chances are they won't.

What should I do?
My advice would be to sit down with your girlfriend some time in private and discuss both about the peer pressure she is experiencing from her friends and about if you are ready to have sex. Ask her some of the questions above and discuss what might go wrong.

If you decide that you would like to have sex after all and that you are both ready and you feel that the benefits outweigh the risks, buy some contraception. Make sure that you know she may still have to abort if it goes wrong or take the pill.

Then make sure that it's in private and no one's going to walk in on you, as that would do no good, and you can do the deed.


Sorry for my ridiculously long response, but I felt this was a big question. :)

[iceyfresh]

You can get a condom at pretty much anystore wallmart safeway like ever gas station but if your not ready then your not ready who cares if they have lost there verginity that dosent mean you have to. Id wait till im ready and Good Luck No Worry's:D;)

[spaz]

ok thanks alot guys:)

[BuryYourFlame]

If she only wants to have sex because her friends are, that is a clear sign to me that she isn't ready.

[peaceloverugby]

^I agree.

Also, if you didn't know where to get condoms, I don't think you're ready either.

[spaz]

^I agree.

Also, if you didn't know where to get condoms, I don't think you're ready either.

i didnt say i didnt know where(cuz u can get them at wal-mart,7-11, and places like that), i said i didnt know how as in how to get their cuz im not gonna go ask my mom "hey mom, could u drive me to 7-11 so i can get some condoms?" that would be very akward

[peaceloverugby]

i didnt say i didnt know where(cuz u can get them at wal-mart,7-11, and places like that), i said i didnt know how as in how to get their cuz im not gonna go ask my mom "hey mom, could u drive me to 7-11 so i can get some condoms?" that would be very akward

Oh ok, sorry, misunderstood ya.

[kyle95]

my girlfriend really wants to have vaginal sex but we dont want to take the risk of getting her pregnant, and i dont know how to get a condom =/ now shes stressed out because all of her friends have lost their virginity and she feels left out. i told her when she was ready we would but im not sure if either of us are ready. i dont know what to do:confused::(

could someone give me some advice

"she's stressed out because all of her friends have lost the virginity and she feels left out"?!!

mate, that's a hardly a standard worth holding your erection to! take a serious look at the values you both plan to lead your lives by. you have a much bigger problem than finding a condom. if she's your gf and you truly love her, why are you not taking the lead in this and pointing out the obvious flaw in this logic? come on mate, step up to the plate

[spaz]

Oh ok, sorry, misunderstood ya.

it's ok:)

[Donkey]

Don't be worried about asking for condoms in the store, they give them out all the time and are really just doing their jobs professionally, they won't ask you about it and they don't have any reason to even think about how you're going to use it.

[The Joker]

i didnt say i didnt know where(cuz u can get them at wal-mart,7-11, and places like that), i said i didnt know how as in how to get their cuz im not gonna go ask my mom "hey mom, could u drive me to 7-11 so i can get some condoms?" that would be very akward

Are there any stores within walking distance of you?

[spaz]

Are there any stores within walking distance of you?

umm.......theres a 7-11 thats about a mile and a half away.