stupid fights

[Allspice_la_fever]

This morning I got into a fight with my mum because I lied to her about what time I made my sandwich. It sounds stupid, lying about when I made it but my mum is very particular about this sort of stuff so it stays fresh blah, blah, blah and so I lied so I wouldn't have to make another sandwich. Anyway, my mum checked my lunch box and found that the bread wasn't frozen so therefore I lied and then it blew up into a big argument and now I'm really mad and it's so stupid. She said she can't trust me any more. She goes through my phone and everything. We've had lots of stupid fights like this. It's so annoying and I don't know how to avoid them. Once when I was in primary school my mum picked a fight with me over my spelling words. There was a time when it was about what to watch on TV and it's ridiculous. How can I avoid these fights? And how can I tell my mum that I really am not doing anything she suspects? She doesn't have to go through my phone or my lunch box or my diary, it is a huge invasion of my privacy but she won't stop.

[BuryYourFlame]

Often when people try and get their opinion across (especially to an authoritative figure) they tend to attack, rather than speak civilly. This not only doesn't get the intended point across but also creates anger than could otherwise be avoided. I suggest using what I have just said to your advantage. Try sitting her down, and in a calm, collected manner explain how you feel.

[Donkey]

Hi there Lucy :)

Let's look into this. For there to be these fights, there must be an underlying issue in the relationship between you both. You should consider how you feel about each other and try to make up any differences or issues you have.

It's completely normal for families to have little arguments about things that don't matter to much but when it gets to the point that your mother is saying there is a lack of trust between you both, and starts checking your phone messages etc. that's when it becomes more than just a silly argument and something much bigger.

You have to try to patch up any trust issues there may be and discuss with her in great detail what made you lie about the sandwich and why she should trust you in future. Help around the house lots, and build a better relationship with her.

Building a relationship with someone means that there is more trust between them both which would definitely help this situation. As Declan stated above, it would be a good idea to sit her down and discuss all the way through this and how you really should be trusted and you've realised that it was wrong to lie before.

Make sure you do not turn this conversation into an an argument. Do not defy what she says but rather state what you think without coming across intrusive or commanding. Remember that she is your mother and she has a right to parent you the way she sees fit.

Hopefully when you two have a good relationship with each other, she will be able to trust you and will stop invading your privacy as you call it. You have to have some empathy for her. She has to raise a child, and if she cannot trust that child not to lie she has to check that they're not for herself.

That's not something that she wants to do remember. Consider that as well and that you've made a mistake here. You did lie. And lying breeches trust between two people.

[Hyper]

Honestly.. If your mom gets into fights about stuff like that it seems to me that she is an incurable fanatic about her own ''things''..

So its best to just go along with her rules as much as possible to avoid confrontation..

Some people you just can't reason with, especially about their freaky ticks and necessities