liveyoungdiefast
August 12th, 2009, 12:22 AM
I want to give some of my personal views on the subject of self-harm. In no way do I endorse self-harm but I do tend to reject certain opinions how to treat it and deal with it. The ideal is not self-harming at all. But, if you do, or if you are insistent on trying it, at least consider this.
1. Throw away the alcoholics anonymous approach - Some alcoholics groups like AA have an idea that since you're addicted you can never have a drink again so long as you live. They also hold that if you take that one drink, you fucked all your progress over and have to start fresh. This is not true with alcohol, and it's not true with self-harm. It's not all or nothing. It never is and never should be. If you used to be cutting daily, go a year without cutting, and then cut again for the first time, you didn't 'mess up'. If you take the approach of trying to be 'clean' for x amount of days, that's a race you can only win by dying. If you only cut months apart, then you don't even need to consider it part of your identity or lifestyle. In fact, I'll use 6 months as an arbitrary number and say, if you only cut yourself every six months, consider yourself fine. Cutting is a bad habit, not a bad spontaneous indulgence. If you can quit altogether, do it. If not, no reason to check yourself into the white padded room for still wanting to reminisce every so often.
2. Experiment in a sound state of mind - A lot of times, the first time someone will ever try self-harm, or the first time they will resume self-harming after awhile of not doing it, is in a stressful state of mind. So if it's your 'first time' or if you've not done it for awhile, tell yourself "I have the choice to do it when I want, but I'm going to wait until I'm happy again and then do it." Chances are when you're happier you'll have no desire to it. But half of the comfort of cutting is knowing you can do it. And you can, so wait. If you're going for your first time, I'd recommend not doing it at all. But everyone would recommend that yet people are still going to cut. So if you absolutely are going to, do your 'experiment' when you're happy and in a sound state of mind. Then you'll get a more realistic view of it, rather than embrace it more easily if you would in a state of misery.
3. You are not a bad person for what you do to yourself. - If you're addicted to self-harm, then you need help. But no matter what, you are not a bad person because of it. Can you think of one way degrading your self-image will help you stop cutting yourself? It won't, ever. So don't think of yourself as bad.
1. Throw away the alcoholics anonymous approach - Some alcoholics groups like AA have an idea that since you're addicted you can never have a drink again so long as you live. They also hold that if you take that one drink, you fucked all your progress over and have to start fresh. This is not true with alcohol, and it's not true with self-harm. It's not all or nothing. It never is and never should be. If you used to be cutting daily, go a year without cutting, and then cut again for the first time, you didn't 'mess up'. If you take the approach of trying to be 'clean' for x amount of days, that's a race you can only win by dying. If you only cut months apart, then you don't even need to consider it part of your identity or lifestyle. In fact, I'll use 6 months as an arbitrary number and say, if you only cut yourself every six months, consider yourself fine. Cutting is a bad habit, not a bad spontaneous indulgence. If you can quit altogether, do it. If not, no reason to check yourself into the white padded room for still wanting to reminisce every so often.
2. Experiment in a sound state of mind - A lot of times, the first time someone will ever try self-harm, or the first time they will resume self-harming after awhile of not doing it, is in a stressful state of mind. So if it's your 'first time' or if you've not done it for awhile, tell yourself "I have the choice to do it when I want, but I'm going to wait until I'm happy again and then do it." Chances are when you're happier you'll have no desire to it. But half of the comfort of cutting is knowing you can do it. And you can, so wait. If you're going for your first time, I'd recommend not doing it at all. But everyone would recommend that yet people are still going to cut. So if you absolutely are going to, do your 'experiment' when you're happy and in a sound state of mind. Then you'll get a more realistic view of it, rather than embrace it more easily if you would in a state of misery.
3. You are not a bad person for what you do to yourself. - If you're addicted to self-harm, then you need help. But no matter what, you are not a bad person because of it. Can you think of one way degrading your self-image will help you stop cutting yourself? It won't, ever. So don't think of yourself as bad.