If i wasn't in the hospital.....

[sam i am]

If i wasn't in the hospital i would of killed myself...like i feel like i deserve every single pain i went through im ok with that because i know i do deserve it ..im now cancer free and fully in graphed (bro was a match for the bone marrow transplant) but now i got a fucking infection in my chess they all cut the infection out but now im worried because now the doctor said their might be a chance that they have to cut the hole more ...like im so fucking piss if u actually seen it it's like some one shot me with a shot gun and u can see my fucking muscles for my left side of my chest... I can't take this no more i wanna end my life each day i get closer and closer to do so..ever since i got the cancer everything gets worst and now im cured and something worst happens it's like someone don't want me to live...ik im suppose to keep my head up but shit like i can't hold on anymore. The hospital where im at is like my fucking home everybody knows me and ik them...like i have things to help me out to make me feel more comfortable but i just can't do it no more...i dont wanna tell my doctor this because he knows i used to cut my self and just telling him can cause more problems...like plz somebody fucking help me give me a really good reason or a example to keep my head up because no matter how many times things seems a little better it attends to get worst.............




*****sorry for the cursing but im just really pissed depressed and tired

[itsandrew_]

I'm glad that you are cured of your cancer but im sorry for the pain you are feeling. Don't say you want to end your life just because of this. Just think of the people that you would be hurting if you ended your life. If you want to talk I'll listen or you can talk to one of the mods or counselors.