Its getting rediculous.

[1_21Guns]

Its just starting to feel like I have nothing left. Anybody that gets too close to me turns into a twat. I'm deliberately not telling my closest friends things because I told one of them things i've never told anybody, then they turned out to be the most untrustworthy person ive known. It must be the effect me and my life has on people. Get to close and you turn into a twat. I just feel like saying to them all dont get too close, you'll turn into a twat. It must be me.
My depressions so bad, its killing me once again, I havent been this low for a long time. I'm not hungry, I only go out to stop myself doing something stupid, I'll laugh and smile like normal, even though i'm far from okay. Even that acts starting to slip. I keep staring off somewhere else, or noticing I look down, I'll walk down the street with my face permanantly glued to the floor, I wont look up while i'm on my own, then people cant see me. Everything just has to happen at once. My mum wont stop going on about moving, its pushing me over the edge, i'm slipping, and I know it.

[Viral Death]

Its ok! I told you you can talk to me on MSN I am on for a long time! If you need to you can txt me also!

[TigerLily]

Oh Natalie... it sucks to hear you're feeling so bad :(
It sounds like you've obviously had some bad experiences with people, but their behaviour is only governed by themselves, not you 'turning them into twats', you can not blame yourself for the way they act. That is their problem, and most definitely not yours.
I know its hard to believe right now, but things will get better, and you will get past this. Just hang on in there and know that there are so many people here on VT who will listen if you ever want to talk, myself included.
:hug:
All the best,
Rachel

[SlightlySane]

You seem like a beautiful person facing bad experiences in life. You can't ever have an effect on someone that makes them into the person they already are.

I know everything pressing down on you like this is overwhelming and very hard to understand. Just try to lift your head up more. Think about something you love that will give you a true smile. Ignore everything that is bugging you and look to the future where things will be better if you make them better.

If you need anyone to talk to don't hesitate to PM me.

[Hyper]

I assure you, you can't turn people into twats unless they already were a little to begin with and most likely they were all twat from the start.

Closing yourself up and blocking everything might seem like a good idea but in the long run it isn't.. But then again in a way it helps, in a unhealthy way..

Just consider that if you don't trust you wont be trusted and like that you'll be truly alone.