my mind body and spirit- please read and help

[thebeast]

okay so i dont exactly kno where to put this, but here it goes. about me: fifteen year old with a long list of med problems, like tight hamstrings, a large and small leg (not a big difference) an feet that are a size apart, a vp shunt (drains spine fluid from brain) off center face (one nostrel bigger than the other, one eye slightly bigger and higher than the other, a crooked messed up jaw (even more screwed up smile) my left ear is gone, and to top it off i have a bad case of oily blackhead skin

now, with all this, i tend to get depressed, angery, have little self confidence, and altho i have friends i cant seem to socialize like other people, and have an annoying habit of when im alon i am constantly daydreaming, mostly about the past, in grade school i girls liked me, i had my first kiss when i was 5, all the way till i was 11, but something changed, they ust to not care about looks, middle school sucks, i cant get good grades bcuz i lose my focus, i cant sleep, i am a rollercoaster of emotions

now recently ive been trying to stay postive and confident about myself, smile more, be more social, "be happy dont worry", but i cant, its an act, when im
alone or let my guard down, this shatters, what can i do? i really want help! the main goals of mine are to be successful in school, become more socially accepted, and get back my connection with girls. thanks in advance

[Sapphire]

Ok, I fail to see how having one foot a size bigger, one leg slightly longer than the other and one nostril slightly larger than the other etc contribute to depression. But I guess that isn't really for me to question.

Buy yourself some dried lavender to put by your bed or some lavender room fragrance as it helps you to relax and sleep soundly. Also, taking a herbal remedy can really help as well and I know that you've probably already been told this but drinking hot milk before bed helps too.
I always have my TV on when I'm going to sleep (luckily it has a timer so it will turn off after an hour or something) as I find the noise distracts my mind - I have a very busy mind and it doesn't like stopping to allow me to sleep.
- If you have a TV in your room then maybe this would be worth a try. If not then a CD will probably work just as well.
Improving your sleeping will have a knock on effect with your attention span and your grades in school.

You need to work on building up your self confidence. Find an activity you enjoy doing and are good at (preferably one which enables you to interact face-to-face with others) and participate in it regularly. This will help you in socialising with others as well as giving you something you can do that you enjoy.
Sports are a good one as they give you the added bonus of getting your endorphins flowing, getting you fit and keeping you fit. But if sports aren't your thing then there are always music events (big and small), gaming events and so on.

There are helpful resources online that you might benefit from. One of my counselors suggested them for me so I'll post them here and you can have a look and consider them
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm
Getting a counselor for a short while could also be of benefit because they can help you with the resources on the above site.

[thedudeman]

i used anger to solve my insecurites, show these middle school kids your not to be fucked with
if you dont want that, im not sure what will work, find a culture to identify with