I can't remember her

[Fallen_embers]

I have a twin sister, who died with my mother in a house fire when I was 6. Weird how I survived as apparently they found me unconcious in the same room, it's always bugged me.

My brother added some photos to facebook the other day, some from when we were little and there was a photo taken a few weeks before the fire, of me and sharron sat on the beach with ice creams. I can remember the day. We went to the beach and my older brother James cut his foot really bad on something in the water. I remember sitting on the plastic chairs with my Dad in the chippy waiting. I can remember that I was wearing a yellow dress.
But I can't remember sharron or mum.
I've searched my head and theres nothing.

I've looked at countless photos to try and trigger a memory. ANYTHING :what:

I can understand not remembering my mum, we've always lived with my nana and grandad because she never wanted us back when she'd came out of hospital when me and sharron were born. We only ever saw her in the 6 week summer holiday, and occasionally xmas/birthdays.
But sharron was with me for 6 years of my life.

I just want to know why I can't remember her. It's like she didn't exist.

[The Batman]

Something traumatic like that happens you usually repress memories that can trigger it again. Maybe your brain is trying to keep you from getting hurt but I'm not entirely sure. Maybe hypnotherapy can help you remember her more.

Also you were very young, my grandpa died when I was 5 and the only thing i can remember is him laying down. Besides that I don't remember anything about him even though I've been near him all of my life. So it could be just that our brain doesn't want us to remember. Again I'm not entirely sure it's just something to think about.

[Fallen_embers]

Maybe, I'm just so angry with my self. She was my sister and I can't remember anything. The photos they mean nothing.
I'm going to see if there are any family videos lying around. see if that helps.

Whats hypno therapy. Dumb question I know :P

[The Batman]

It's like a therapist that uses hypnosis to help with problems. It can help with repressed memories.

[Sapphire]

Hypnosis doesn't put you in a trance where you will blindly accept and say/do anything. Being hypnotised is often described as being in a very relaxed state while still retaining complete control.

I understand your frustration at not being able to remember your sister. But you can't force memories to come. They will probably come with time.

In addition to hypnotherapy, meditation might be able to help. Or you could try talking with your dad about her - get him to tell you about some fun times the two or three of you had.

[Fallen_embers]

In addition to hypnotherapy, meditation might be able to help. Or you could try talking with your dad about her - get him to tell you about some fun times the two or three of you had.

Can you do self meditation?
And talking to my Dad wouldn't help, he hates us. We've all lived with our Nan until she died and now he acts like we don't exist, and I'm sure hes bitter about me having to live with him, my brothers are over 18 and the oldest has gone to uni, my other bro dissapeared and refuses to come home, so it's just me and him.
A few months ago, when i first discovered the photos of us, I asked him who she was, I sort of knew, but wanted confirmation. And he totally lost it and I thought he was going to kill me. James says that Dad never abused any of us until after they died, and I was wondering if he thinks it's my fault as I'm the only one who survived.
I've asked my brothers but all they do is explain memories and the things we did and I remember none of it.

I'm going to have to try meditationor hypnotherapy, cos it's all i think about, not knowing is driving me insane :D

Sorry for the rant lol :rolleyes:

[Sapphire]

Yes, meditation is something you can do alone. There are plenty of sources online and in bookshops like Waterstones on meditation and how to do it.
I've never tried it but have been told that it can be an enlightening and very calming exercise to carry out.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.
It sounds like he has been having lots of problems dealing with the losses of a wife and a child. It's no excuse for treating the rest of you the way he did, but it may be the reason.
And don't apologise for ranting. We are here to listen and to support you :)

[Fallen_embers]

Thanks :)

Yeah thats what my councelor said when I first explained everything to him, but at the time I was so angry with Dad that I refused to believe it. But it does make sense. I feel so bad for him :( But I know I could never develop a relationship with him that doesn't involve violence, it's like he thinks I'm dirt :/