Better?

[Rawr]

Im talking to the people im taken there advice im doing what they say im beeing good i swear but they wont let me see my bro they helped me with my cutting they said that it was cuz of the abuse and neglect ive been threw but i dont know they say im to dangerous to see my little brother but i dont wanna cut no more and im eating like they tell me to and talking and even getting better i feel alittle bit happier but they wont let my bro hug me or nothing i dont get why im not gonna hurt him or nothing i hope i dont cut ever agian i dont like it well im gonna try to get better wish me luck

[Bougainvillea]

It's because you just started this treatment. You have to actually make them believe you're better. It doesn't happen overnight. Just because you're doing what they say doesn't mean anything if you don't put your heart and soul into it. And as much as you don't want to believe it, hun, you are a danger to your little brother.

[Rawr]

Tell me how then how am i a danger i wont hurt him i swear

[Bougainvillea]

That's not what they mean. You are putting an influence on your little brother. He sees this as right. He's going to look up to you. When people say you're a danger to him, they mean in a mental way, not physical.

[Rawr]

no he knows its wrong he does no cuz he would alwies try to stop me he would alwies cry till i stoped and told him i wouldent do it no more he wont ever cut i know he wont

[Bougainvillea]

You shouldn't be exposing him to those behaviors. You're a danger to him. Until you have completely recovered, you are a danger.

[Rawr]

and what if i never recover the chances are i wont fully recover

[BuryYourFlame]

and what if i never recover the chances are i wont fully recover

Then you will most likely not be able to see him again.

Humans, especially kids, are VERY impressionable, they will pretty much grow up doing what ever they see as the norm, this means that they can't be exposed to behaviours such as cutting.

This shouldn't get you down, rather, you should see it as a motivation to completely stop cutting, and continue therapy.

[Bougainvillea]

Well, then until you change this behavior. Trying to commit suicide a week after they release doesn't send a good message to them. It might take a while.

[Rawr]

ok dont juge me or nothing but i have some mental issues that cause alot of this so like i said i will never be fully recovered no matter how hard i try no matter how hard i work it isent possibal so does that meen i shouldent be alowed to see my bro agian?

[Bougainvillea]

I wouldn't until he's older. That way he fully understands what's wrong.

And we here at VT don't judge. :)

[Rawr]

but thats not fair he is my little brother the only family i have left and u think i should not be alowed to see him till he is older? thats like saying u cant see ur mom or ur dad or someone else u love thats not fair

[Bougainvillea]

Do you want him to grow up seeing you like this?! Do you want him to watch you cut yourself and attempt suicide? No. What you are doing is unfair to him. And if I wouldn't be able to see the one I love because of this, I would accept it. Because it's for the greater good.

[Rawr]

but i need him more then ever

[Bougainvillea]

I know.
But you need to accept their decision.

This should be motivation.

[Rawr]

i cant do it with out him im gonna louse him if i mess up once more he is moving foster homes and i will only be able to see him once a week for an hr in a room with a soical worker its not fair if they do that ill go right back to cutting i know i will

[Bougainvillea]

You're not accepting what I'm saying.

[Rawr]

but how am i sposed to when what ur saying is that i shouldent be alowed to see him till im older i know ur right ok but its so hard to deal with that

[Bougainvillea]

I know.
You just have to.
It's for the greater good.

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Obsidian and Jetfire are both right. Your brother doesn't need to see you in such a state. And the fact that you're not being allowed to see him so make you want to stop.

[Rawr]

it dones make me want to stop and like i said for the time beeing im ok but the thing is that im not sure what to work for if i wont be alowed to see him till he is older i meen why keep working on somthing that i cant control they put me on alll kinds of medisions but nothing works i still go back to cutting or trying to die

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

You should work towards getting better so you are no longer viewed as a threat to your brother.

[Rawr]

I know what u meen and i am trying im staying calm and im beeing good im gonna keep trying untill i get better

[PoisonedRazorBlades]

Its the only thing you really can do so its good that you accept it

[Rawr]

i alwies wonder when ill be going home it wont be soon i know that im gonna miss my first day of a new school and its gonna suck