1_21Guns
August 7th, 2009, 08:03 PM
Well, the other night, I litterally forced myself to listen to a song that has been close to me since I was a little girl.
Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You.
That song was my obsession, my addiction, my life all written down.
I listened to it to get me through the day, I was so young, yet I wanted to die. Then one time, I very nearly killed myself listening to it. I carried on listening though, and I could deal with the lyrics, the things it said, the ever familair mixture of sound and words.
Yet when I had it on repeat myself the other night, I hadn't listened to it in a long time, usually I turn it off halfway through, I cant bring myself to listen to it, but that time I didnt, I had it on repeat. As all the memories came back, I started heaving. I almost threw up. Watching it all over again made me ill.
That song is so close to my heart. It means alot to me, yet listening to it makes me throw up.
It used to get me through a day, now it nearly ends it. I want to listen to it again, but it seems to be making my depression worse rather than better like it used to.
That songs my life, and this probably sounds really stupid, being so attached to some song, but its scary to think I could have to stop listening.
Kelly Clarkson - Because Of You.
That song was my obsession, my addiction, my life all written down.
I listened to it to get me through the day, I was so young, yet I wanted to die. Then one time, I very nearly killed myself listening to it. I carried on listening though, and I could deal with the lyrics, the things it said, the ever familair mixture of sound and words.
Yet when I had it on repeat myself the other night, I hadn't listened to it in a long time, usually I turn it off halfway through, I cant bring myself to listen to it, but that time I didnt, I had it on repeat. As all the memories came back, I started heaving. I almost threw up. Watching it all over again made me ill.
That song is so close to my heart. It means alot to me, yet listening to it makes me throw up.
It used to get me through a day, now it nearly ends it. I want to listen to it again, but it seems to be making my depression worse rather than better like it used to.
That songs my life, and this probably sounds really stupid, being so attached to some song, but its scary to think I could have to stop listening.